Dad jokes are not just for dads!

[WEE]

What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta


I don't trust atoms. They make up everything.

 

[Richo877]

What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta


I don't trust atoms. They make up everything.

And don't trust stairs either, they're always up to something.

 

[Flopsweat]

 

[CamoDeafie]

What did the tree say when a lumberjack asked a riddle?

Nothing, it was stumped

 

[Flopsweat]

I don't have a dad bod. I have a father figure.

 

[64MercurysRule]

A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.

 

[64MercurysRule]

Never argue with a fool.

They'll lower you to their level, and then beat you with experience.

 

[64MercurysRule]

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes.

That way, when you do criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

 

[64MercurysRule]

What do you call it when a chameleon can't camouflage?

A reptile dysfunction.

 

[WEE]

Where do dads keep their jokes?

In a dad-a-base.

 

[parallax]

..

 

[64MercurysRule]

• My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down .
• I used to run a dating service for chickens, but I was struggling to make hens meet .
• What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One's pretty heavy and the other's a little lighter .

 

[Flopsweat]

Take your protein pills and put your helmet on.

 

[Xaevian]

Take your protein pills and put your helmet on.

View attachment 1893764

 

[CamoDeafie]

At breakfast, Angus' wife Bonnie tells him he needs to lose weight. He says, "Ok, when I get home from work I'll make a low-calorie meal, and you hug me while I eat it." Bonnie says, "That's your whole plan?" Angus says,

"Aye; I just diet in your arms tonight."

 

[CamoDeafie]

I slept on a slab of marble. It was my bedrock

 

[johnny bob]

I slept on a slab of marble. It was my bedrock

With a curb stone for a pillow?

 

[Flopsweat]

With a curb stone for a pillow?

Rock pillows are apparently a thing. How bored does a society have to be to come up with this stuff?

 

[Richo877]

Rock pillows are apparently a thing. How bored does a society have to be to come up with this stuff?

View attachment 1895480

I know, for real, are they stoned?

 

[Richo877]

Rock pillows are apparently a thing. How bored does a society have to be to come up with this stuff?

View attachment 1895480

Those pillows kinda rock. They're pretty bold, some may even say... boulder