Dad jokes are not just for dads!

[Flopsweat]

I tried to explain to my 4 year old that it's perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants, but he's still making fun of me.

 

[Bacchus]

Customer (C): How much are your motorcycle helmets?
Motorcycle Shop Owner (MSO): $150.
C: Well, the store owner down the street is selling theirs for only $120.
MSO: So buy one from him.
C: I would, but he is sold out.
MSO: Well, I sell mine for $100 when I'm all out.

 

[Bacchus]

Kid: Dad, I need some money. Are there any chores around the house I could do for a dollar?

Dad: No, son, sorry, I don't have any spare money right now. Maybe you could sell something you own.

Kid: Oh. Okay, I'll sell my dog.

Dad: Your dog? Are you sure you want to sell your dog?

Kid: Yes, I need the money.

Dad: Well, okay then, good luck.

… an hour later …

Kid: Dad! Dad! I sold my dog for $1000 !

Dad: $1000 ! That's great! Let's see the money!

Kid: Well, I didn't get cash, exactly, I got these two $500 cats.

 

[Richo877]

 

[Flopsweat]

 

[Flopsweat]

 

[Richo877]

 

[Bacchus]

What's green, hops along the ground, and is dangerous?
A frog with a hand grenade.

What's black, lives in a tree, and is dangerous?
A crow with a machine gun.

 

[Richo877]

 

[Richo877]

 

[Flopsweat]

Look closely.

 

[CamoDeafie]

Look closely.

View attachment 1405397

When duct tape is a better finish than Maaco...

 

[Xaevian]

Look closely.

View attachment 1405397

That is some next level shizz

 

[Flopsweat]

When duct tape is a better finish than Maaco...

Rust is a better finish than Maaco.

 

[Xaevian]

Rust is a better finish than Maaco.

Man, I miss the Earl Scheib $99 deal. They even oversprayed the tires.

 

[Flopsweat]

Man, I miss the Earl Scheib $99 deal. They even oversprayed the tires.

I think it was literally extra to primer and mask.

 

[Flopsweat]

 

[Bacchus]

Man, I miss the Earl Scheib $99 deal.

You miss the $99 deal, but apparently you missed the $29.95 deal it originally cost in the 1960s. I wonder how many paint jobs Earl sold to people who were selling their car the next week.

Earl Scheib on Wikipedia

 

[Xaevian]

You miss the $99 deal, but apparently you missed the $29.95 deal it originally cost in the 1960s. I wonder how many paint jobs Earl sold to people who were selling their car the next week.

Earl Scheib on Wikipedia

Before my time, brother.

 

[Bacchus]

I think it was literally extra to primer and mask.

The implications of that just hit me. I'm guessing that most of Earl's business was for cars being sold the next week. I wonder how many people bought a shiny used car only to have it needing another paint job soon after.