What to do if a bear attacks

[The Heretic]

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In poster form:

 

[Flingpoo]

View attachment 476089

This one is THE BEST!

 

[The Heretic]

 

[The Heretic]

 

[The Heretic]

 

[The Heretic]

 

[The Heretic]

 

[The Heretic]

 

[dplev4]

This is hilarious.

 

[MilitantBEEMER]

This is safe advice.

 

[L84Cabo]

Two buddies camping in a tent. At 2 a.m. they are suddenly woken up to the obvious sounds of a very pissed off grizzly bear outside the tent. First guy immediately starts putting on his shoes. Second guy says, "what are you doing, you can't outrun a grizzly bear!" First guy says, "I don't need to outrun the bear. I just need to outrun YOU!"

I know...it's an oldie. But I love that joke.

 

[pharmseller]

This is hilarious.

Some of us know that bear meat is delicious.

It's the bear that should be worried.





P

 

[MountainBear]

You can bribe me with guns, parts, ammo, books, and Diet Coke, and then I won't attack...

 

[OldBroad44]

What to do if a bear attacks you?

Tell bear it is discriminating against you because you are a different species, which you had no control over. State that eating you would violate your civil rights. Assert that attacking you would constitute abuse, and abuse for no reason except that you are small and edible. Whine that this area was supposed to be a safe zone for both bears and humans. Tell bear that according to postmodernist theory, there are no real facts, all is just opinion, and maybe he is a bear and maybe he isn't. He might actually be a mouse, and if he is a mouse he shouldn't be attacking you.

When that doesn't work, shoot bear in the head with your trusty .44.

 

[Andy54Hawken]

I just stockpile :
Honey...
Doughnuts...
Fish..
And peanut butter...
All around my hunting partners tent...seems to work out well and in the morning I get a "free , new to me rifle" along with some slightly used hunting gear as well....
Andy