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If it can go wrong it will..... some people like safety on their guns and some don't... I don't and when I carry I use a serpa holster. You can keep the chamber clear if you feel comfortable with that.... personally I don't like that either. I do like the XDs... with the 1911 style grip safety... and the glock like trigger safety. If you kid is gonna jump on you so hard that it's gonna set off your gun... maybe it's time to have a talk with the little fella lol just kidding. Seriously though.... in the heat of things... with a manual safety like the one on a 1911 or a Beretta... you might forget to take it off and that can cost you your life... same with keeping the chamber empty and racking the slide when you need to use the gun. With a gun like the XD when you grab it like you mean business... everything is set and all you need to do is ID your target, backstop and rock-N-roll.
 
Another thing you might want to think about is after market grips. Some gun's just have more options for grips and fit than others. Smith and Wesson revolvers have a TON of options, but I've never found a setup that really fits me well. 1911's and Sig's have a pretty big list of after market grips and I am sure others do too. As an example I bought a P220 sight unseen as part of a commemorative group buy that my unit did while we were deployed. It rarely ever made it to the range after we got home because it was just too big for my hand. Single action it was fine, but the double action pull was awkward for me. Obviously not going to get rid of it as it has my old unit's crest engraved on the slide so I did a little research and found smaller after market grips. Hogue G10's, and it's a fun range gun now.
 
I have found that the Kahr brand of pistols meet my needs in the area of deeper concealed carry. I have carried for 25 years, both while my children were small and after the grew up. I had the same concerns as far as weapon safeties and exposure unexpected nudges and bumps. I currently have a Kahr CW9 that works well for CCW and still leaves me capable of dealing with most incidents as well as not worrying about a safety being knocked off accidentally.
 
alot of these posts have good info in them, mostly the one about it being your choice, but dont shoehorn yourself into a really narrow category, firstly a safety doesn't do that much on its own, a holster is needed to really keep little fingers and toes that may be climbing on you out of the trigger guard. if you looking at pocket carry or something of the like look more towards a DAO, typically a heavier trigger than guns with a safety. also, a 9mm is a fine caliber, but .40 is better, and .45 better than than. you can get a .40 in a size almost the same as any 9mm. dont overlook the good ole 1911 either. the main thing that really makes a gun concealable is grip length and the width of the gun. so single stacks will be more concealable, but give less capacity. nearly all my concealed carry guns are single stacks. kahr p9, good gun no safety DAO, Taurus 740 good gun, not had it long but like it(has safety) smith and Wesson 1911sc commander, love it. also have keltec p3at, and getting a Taurus tcp380. i really do like the walther pps and hope to get one soon.
 

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