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be patient OBWon.Be thankful she is 100 pounds wet and loaded.A couple in the torso wiff a 45 isn't gonna require a lot of reloadin,just a mop.good for her and you.
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I have extremely small hands for an adult male, and many-many female students show up at OFA who have even smaller hands than me and are extremely low upper body strength.
The bottom line this is NOT a gear related issue but rather a skill (or lack of) situation. There are several simple easy to learn techniques to solve this problem. Knowledge is the solution not the buying of specialized gear. The reality is a person with an open mind and 5 minutes of coaching can operate any handgun irregardless of hand size. At the Oregon Police Academy and in the Military, women show up and are expected (and do) to qualify with their issue weapon including some full size Beretta's. They do not get to select a "perfect" handgun for their hand size and/or jobs. They must learn how to manipulate the gun their given. So it can be done and done successfully.
Telling people they need a specialize "this or that" is an excuse to fail and we need to teach our wives and girlfriend's a reason to survive. They can and will be able to pick up ANY handgun and fight back successfully after mastering several effective techniques. Telling them this gun is too big or this gun isn't right is just an excuse to fail and they need a reason to win. Who says during a fight they're going to get to pick up the "perfectly fitted" handgun to fight back. What happens if a full size Beretta is the only handgun available for them to fight back with? Do we really want them to think "oh, I can't use that gun, it is too big for me!"
I had the privilage of working with a man who was badly burned in an industrial accident. Over 60% of his body was burned and he has undergone 45 different surgeries to put himself back together. All his fingers including his thumbs were amputated down to the second nuckle - he just had numbs. And he was able to successfully shoot and manipulate a semi-auto - no whinning and no "special" smaller handgun. He used a GLOCK 19.
It is all about technique and not gear. But what the heck do I know?
Well if you want to teach "good" reloading practices, you shouldn't be using the slide release. The best method for mechanical advantage is to grip the top/rear portion of the slide with your weak side hand, and push forward with your strong side hand (the hand that it on the pistol's grip), until the slide is unlocked, then release the slide with your weak side hand, done. This is a better method than pulling back on the slide with your weak side hand, this is because its easier to push than pull.