Dad jokes are not just for dads!

[Flopsweat]

I've been thinking about taking up meditation. I figure it's better than sitting around doing nothing.

Why didn't the Yogi let his dentist use Novocain? He knew if he just focused, he could transcend dental medication.

 

[Xaevian]

Whoever stole my depression medication: I hope you're happy.

 

[Richo877]

Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducked.

 

[Xaevian]

My boss asked me why I only get sick on work days. I said it must be my weekend immune system.

 

[CamoDeafie]

 

[Xaevian]

What's the least spoken language in the world? Sign language.

 

[CamoDeafie]

What's the least spoken language in the world? Sign language.

What's the most touchy language in the world? Braille

 

[Xaevian]

What's the most touchy language in the world? Braille

Didn't see that coming!

 

[CamoDeafie]

You know whats awesome about having a deaf wife? She can't hear me coming

 

[Tinman357]

Worst one ever...

Whats the differance between Yemen and Abu Dahbi?

Yemen don't like the flinstones, but Abu Dahbi do.

I'll show myself out now.

 

[Richo877]

You heard about the guy that got his left side completely blown off? He's all right now.

 

[made in china]

I'm not in to Dad jokes.
It's just how eye roll.

 

[Richo877]

 

[Flopsweat]

Who tells the best Dad jokes? That should be apparent.

 

[Xaevian]

Who tells the best Dad jokes? That should be apparent.

Unless they are a faux pa!

 

[Flopsweat]

I bet I can create a perfect vacuum. I hear there's nothing to it.

 

[johnny bob]

The other day I bought a toilet brush. It was too rough for me so today I bought 6 rolls of Charmain toilet paper. Yeah, yeah maybe ok for Chuck Norris and Stomper but not for me.

 

[Yarome]

If a rhino and an elephant had a baby, what would you call it? Elephino!!

I'm sure by now everyone has heard of the newly discovered native fucowee pygmie tribe located in Canada? They have long avoided discovery as their small stature is largely concealed by the lush meter high vegetation common to the region. Unique to the fucowee natives is the practice of jumping, or hopping, over their territorial lands rather than walking. Looking closely you may catch a rare glimse of heads bobbing above the brush. The significance of this practice is not yet understood. Their language is also not yet largely understood, but if you listen closely you may hear a common traditional native call among their people, "wearthefucowee".

(Told to me by a local guide while moose hunting in Canada... in the tone of "interesting local facts". Hook, line, and sinker!)

 

[Flopsweat]

A guy walks into a bar with a giraffe and says, "A beer and a shot for me, and the same for the giraffe, please." They continue on like this for three rounds. The guy is doing OK, but the giraffe is clearly getting schnokered. It starts swaying back and forth, its feet slip a few times and then it crashes to the floor, passed out cold. The guy pays his tab, steps over the passed-out giraffe and heads for the door. The bartender yells, "Hey, you can't just leave that lyin' there!". The guy yells back, "That's not a lion; that's a giraffe!"

 

[johnny bob]

I'm sure by now everyone has heard of the newly discovered native fucowee pygmie tribe located in Canada? They have long avoided discovery as their small stature is largely concealed by the lush meter high vegetation common to the region. Unique to the fucowee natives is the practice of jumping, or hopping, over their territorial lands rather than walking. Looking closely you may catch a rare glimse of heads bobbing above the brush. The significance of this practice is not yet understood. Their language is also not yet largely understood, but if you listen closely you may hear a common traditional native call among their people, "wearthefucowee".

I think the jumping, hopping and laughing may be explained by the fact that the grass is tickling their balls.