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"Common sense ALCOHOL control"

Discussion in 'Legal & Political Archive' started by soberups, Dec 18, 2009.

  1. soberups

    soberups Newberg Well-Known Member

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    Why we need "Common sense" Alcohol control



    5% of all deaths from diseases of the circulatory system are attributed to alcohol.

    15% of all deaths from diseases of the respiratory system are attributed to alcohol.

    30% of all deaths from accidents caused by fire and flames are attributed to alcohol.

    30% of all accidental drownings are attributed to alcohol.

    30% of all suicides are attributed to alcohol.

    40% of all deaths due to accidental falls are attributed to alcohol.

    45% of all deaths in automobile accidents are attributed to alcohol.

    60% of all homicides are attributed to alcohol.



    (Sources: NIDA Report, the Scientific American and Addiction Research Foundation of Ontario.) Also see Alcohol Consumption and Mortality, Alcohol poisoning deaths, CDC report, ----------------------------------------------------------------------



    Over 100,000 people per year die due to alcohol...far more than die from firearms.

    Its time for some "common sense" alcohol controls.

    We need to implement background checks on the purchase of alcohol to insure that alcohol is not sold to alcoholics.

    All persons who wish to purchase alcohol should first be required to get a license, get fingerprinted, pay for an ID card, and register all alcohol purchases with the BATF.

    There needs to be a mandatory 3-day waiting period on the purchase of all alcoholic beverages, since 30% of all suicides are alcohol related. And there should be a one-bottle-per-month limit on all alcohol purchases, as well as a ban on any out-of-state sales of alcohol.

    High-capacity 40-ounce "assault bottles" of alcohol have no "legitimate social drinking purpose" and need to be outlawed. Wine and beer should only be sold in 6-ounce cans or bottles instead of the high-capacity "cop killer" containers that cause so many deadly drunk driving accidents.

    All bottles of alcohol should come with mandatory child-proof caps. Persons who wish to keep alcohol in their homes should be required to store it in a safe, subject to police inspection. Persons who wish to stockpile dangerous "arsenals" of alcohol in their homes should be required to maintain liability insurance for any damage their alcohol may cause. And all future alcohol containers should be equipped with biometric "smart-bottle" technology that will prevent consumption by underaged or unlicensed persons.

    Posession or use of alcohol in public should be banned. All bars and bubblegums should be closed. Persons wishing to transport alcohol in their car should be required to lock it in a case in the trunk, seperate from any bottle-openers or glasses.

    We as citizens need to stand up to the pro-alcohol lobby. We need to enact common-sense alcohol control NOW. Our rights to have alcohol come with responsibilities, and we must accept the fact that, as citizens, we need the govermnent to monitor and oversee our alcohol use because it knows what is best for us.

    It is a small price to pay if it will save one child.....
     
  2. PosterGuy

    PosterGuy Hillsboro Member

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    This has to do with firearms how? Feel free to live your happy, sober life. If I want to have a beer it's not yours or the governments business.
     
  3. enhance

    enhance NW New Member

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    I believe it was a sarcastic application of the overconstrictive "control" that people try to place on guns put into the context of alcohol. Showing that when the context is changed, the stated controls are obviously silly at best.

    At least I hope so.
     
  4. PosterGuy

    PosterGuy Hillsboro Member

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    Look at the name. I don't think it's a joke at all. I hope I'm wrong though.
     
  5. twoclones

    twoclones Tri-Cities, WA Well-Known Member

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    And we all remember how well prohibiting alcohol worked to control crime here in America ;)
     
  6. TonsOfOregonBrass

    TonsOfOregonBrass Sandy, OR Active Member

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    :bluelaugh::bluelaugh:

    Gun control makes me laugh also.
     
  7. BillM

    BillM Amity OR Bronze Supporter Bronze Supporter

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    It's a joke/parody/satire. Just the gun control "party line" with the word
    alcohol substituted for guns.

    OP's user name? What's wrong with those brown truck drivers being sober?
    I kind of like the idea--you could hurt someone if one of those big boxy
    trucks got out of control.
     
  8. gunnails

    gunnails Hillsboro Active Member

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    First the took away my kodachrome, now my alcohol.
    :huh:
     
  9. 86-0134

    86-0134 north willamette valley Member

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    you dont get it.:laugh:
     
  10. Chee-to

    Chee-to Oregon Well-Known Member

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    Amazing statistics................:drunk::drinkingbuds: :wine: :beer:
     
  11. dave

    dave Independence Member

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    Rediculous. Without alcohol lots of us would not be parents. The NFL, Nascar, professional wrestling would not exist. The TV show COPS would be boring. No Beer commercials. Come on, I love beer commercials. You obviously havent thought this through.
     
  12. soberups

    soberups Newberg Well-Known Member

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    You are wrong.

    I wrote this because I have a liberal, anti-gun relative who collects and tastes wine for a hobby and I wanted to turn his anti-gun arguments against him in a way that would hit "close to home". It is intended as satire. I am in fact a recovering alcoholic who chooses not to drink, but I totally support the right of others to make their own choices in that regard...which is more than can be said for the gun haters who want to ban and regulate that which they fear.
     
  13. Gunner3456

    Gunner3456 Salem Well-Known Member

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    Alcohol control means hitting your mouth and not spilling it down your shirt.
     
  14. wakejoe

    wakejoe Beaverton, OR Well-Known Member

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    Hahaha. :D :thumbup: :bluelaugh:
     
  15. Trlsmn

    Trlsmn In Utero (Portland) Well-Known Member

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    Yes otherwise it would be a drinking problem! :p
     
  16. d1esel

    d1esel Ridgefield WA. Member

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    Alcohol control is using both hands on the bottle.:drink:
     
  17. Gunner3456

    Gunner3456 Salem Well-Known Member

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    That'll work too. :thumbup:
     
  18. Hawaiian

    Hawaiian Tigard Oregon Well-Known Member

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    How about banning all sports cars that can go 100 mph? No one 'needs' to drive that fast and it is illegal to do so in all 50 states. More people are killed by speeding cars than guns.

    So the next time some anti gun BMW driver tells you that no one 'needs' an assualt rifle, you know how to respond. :winkkiss: