All Or Nothing Paradoxes.

[bradsteen]

At my winter place on the Yucatan, I had a friend who was a breatharian. He did a 40 day fast, and didn't drink anything for the first 10 days, although he did swim in the Caribbean everyday, so I'm sure he must have absorbed or swallowed some sea water.

He was very upset that he lost weight, because if breatharianism really worked, he wouldn't have lost any weight.

He believed the reason he lost weight was that nobody else believed in breatharianism. He believed that if everyone believed the same thing, it would come true.

He died a few years later of dehydration.

Sorry about your friend, but damn... That movement seems... Ill-advised.

 

[Provincial]

I felt betrayed by Bi Mart. Employee owned, local (Oregon, Washington, Montana), grew up shopping there. They didn't feel like an impersonal multi-national company, more like the corner mom-and-pop store. So when they virtue signaled and compromised 2A rights it felt personal.

So, nope to healing.




P

Once a company gets to a certain size, they start hiring "professional" management instead of promoting from within. That is the point at which they lose their way. The Business Administration schools focus on what works for the careers of the management, not what is best for the company and nation in the long term. Thus all decisions are short-term and managers are always looking to jump to a different company to advance their careers. Thus, companies go through cycles of short-term decisions that improve performance for a short time, but eventually create problems that impair performance. Sometimes, the problems kneecap the business enough that it eventually begins to fail, and the corporate vultures descend to strip it of all value before disposing the carcass in a "short sale" scam to avoid taxes.

 

[OldBroad44]

Once a company gets to a certain size, they start hiring "professional" management instead of promoting from within. That is the point at which they lose their way. The Business Administration schools focus on what works for the careers of the management, not what is best for the company and nation in the long term. Thus all decisions are short-term and managers are always looking to jump to a different company to advance their careers. Thus, companies go through cycles of short-term decisions that improve performance for a short time, but eventually create problems that impair performance. Sometimes, the problems kneecap the business enough that it eventually begins to fail, and the corporate vultures descend to strip it of all value before disposing the carcass in a "short sale" scam to avoid taxes.

Good points. I think the big issue is not hiring from within or outside, however, but hiring someone who is or isn't knowledgeable in the specific industry. Promoting from within gives you someone familiar with the specific industry the way the business runs now at least . But not necessarily on the scale or in the way it needs to run in the future. But hiring someone who is an MBA with no experience in the industry, either where the company is now or where it needs to go, doesnt make much sense.

Business schools have been pushing the idea that if you are good at business management you can manage anything. If this were actually true this would make business management degrees maximally valuable. For a while businesses seemed to be drinking that coolaid. And business managers with no experience often are good at short term decisions that increase the value of the stock and their stock options temporarily so make them look good in the short run. But it means those who trade your stock are essentially running your company. More and more businesses aren't buying the coolaid any more. The value of MBAs has gone down.

 

[CLT65]

I wouldn't worry about your oldest daughter not taking to community college.

I was a little worried for a while, but am encouraged to see her taking such an interest in what she's doing now. She's fiercely independent and just wants to find her own way. She was high school age when covid hit and the world stopped. It was devastating to her. She had so much she wanted to get out and do.

I know what you're saying about community college. I think they're a good resource for some, but I was a bit disappointed when I went. After the crash of '08, I got laid off and went back to school as an adult and earned an associate degree. I was disappointed at the low standards and how easy it was to get an A in most classes. The instructors were nice enough, but most of them seemed burned out to one degree or another.

The one notable exception was the guy who taught some core classes. He was a recently retired electrical engineer who had just started teaching. I didn't like him at first because he was tough and demanding. His semiconductor theory classes were challenging. By the time I graduated, he was by far my favorite teacher, and I'm pretty sure I was one of his favorite students. I ended up with a 4.1gpa. I don't claim to be overly smart; I just stuck with it and did my best in every class.

It's funny where life takes you. That experience helped me get the job I have now, though my degree isn't terribly relevant. It is relevant though, to the job I'm interviewing for next week. The job is here, mostly, and I've had several remote interviews, but they're flying me to corporate out of state to meet more people. I'm pretty nervous about that. It's a great career move, but a minimal increase in pay considering the OT I work now. That and the fact that my wife is having more medical trouble right now, make me very hesitant about taking on a new job. I am getting really tired of working a long week, then coming home to do housework, and working on old cars. We could have bought a couple of brand new cars for what we've paid in medical bills over the last decade. I'll quit griping now. Everyone goes through tough times at one point or another, and life goes on.

 

[OldBroad44]

Hello @CLT65 . sounds like you've really been around a bunch of blocks since covid hit.

The community college teachers probably seem burned out because they were. Probably way overloaded with classes so they can't really teach well. And expected to pass nearly everyone so the community college financial model works. And underpaid. The teacher who had just started teaching after a successful career as an engineer would have been in a different class. He probably didn't need the money and was only teaching because he thought he would enjoy it and it was a useful public service. The school would not have tried to force him to pass everyone because he could and would quit. .So he could set his own standards. And they were sensible enough to realize he was the guy who could put real substance into the courses he taught. And he probably taught exactly the courses he wanted and no more, too.

It's amazing how you can find some really committed and excellent teachers almost anywhere. When I was in the last six weeks of 9th grade my family moved from NY to Warner Robins, Georgia. My dad was in the AF, in Continental Air Command, and headquarters CONAC moved from NY to Georgia. Generally, northern schools tend to be a couple of years ahead of southern ones. In addition, my NY school had a tracking program. I was taking 11th grade Reagents Earth Science in 9th grade for example. Sort of like today's advanced placement courses. The Georgia HS had no tracking program, no Earth Science, no calculus. The physics teachers only qualification was he had taken one college course in physics and made a D in it. He "taught" it by just using a course taught on films. Couldn't do the material himself because he didn't have the math. At least he was honest about it. The bio teacher I got was actually the music teacher, not a bio teacher. My physics and bio were taught in crowded classrooms with no labs. The school itself was just a bunch of quonset huts strung together with covered walks in between. And it didn't help that the number of students went from about a thousand to two thousand all in one week when CONAC moved to Georgia. However, the guy who taught Plane Geometry and Solid Geometry and Trig was spectacular. And the guy who taught history was great too. And it turned out there was a spectacular chemistry and bio teacher too, I just hadn't been assigned them when I took those subjects. When I got to senior year I ran out of stuff to take and signed up for a study hall. And the good bio teacher swooped in and had me reassigned to her as a lab assistant. She actually had a lab. A good time was had by all.

A similar situation with University of Florida. The average faculty member wasn't as bright or accomplished professionally as the Harvard faculty for example. Or as demanding. But some of them were. You could get any level of challenge you wanted. I had three major science mentors in my life. The two most important were at UF. One of them even told me that his rule for students like me in a college like UF was "Never take a course for which you have had the prerequisite." But I had been skipping all the prerecs long before I met him. I worked in the labs of both those mentors, one a geneticist, one a biochemist. I came away with deep debts to those two men. Debts so deep they could never be repaid except by passing them on. I have done so.

Sounds like that engineer teacher might have been the first teacher who actually challenged you. Most people have no idea how smart they are and what they are capable of until that happens. I remember when it happen for me. Genetics course. The big flunk out course in the department.. I loved it. I went on to work for the prof and to specialize in genetics in grad school.

Given that your daughter is interested in both pharmacy and mechanics she might want to check out free online courses on bio-engineering. Maybe consider learning undergrad bio and bioengineering on her own. Many universities have started putting all their undergrad courses on line for free. Gets you the knowledge though not the formal credit. Lecturers are likely to be the best they have. Then maybe think about combining with pharmacy by inventing equipment for administering drugs. Something like that. Doesn't take degrees to apply for a patent. As she learns pharmacy she could be watching for situations in which some new piece of equipment is needed to administer drugs or monitor their levels.

I really sympathize with you needing to take care of your ill wife. I took care of my mother for ten years while she died of Alzheimers. It was the hardest thing I ever did. And I did not need to also hold down an ordinary job, let alone two raise two kids simultaneously. If you get the new job will it mean you can earn about as much without the strenuous overtime?

 

[CLT65]

I have to say, I really misjudged you, and I'm sincerely sorry for the earlier dust-up. You have a lot of wisdom in what you post. Thank you for that.

I think you nailed it regarding good teachers. The best ones really make a life-long impact on students. I'll never forget my fifth grade teacher, one teacher in particular in high school, and that one instructor at LCC. Funny thing about my favorite high school teacher: his daughter was in my class, and another good friend has kept in touch with her over the many years. A couple years ago I got word that she was reaching out to former students to send him cards for his 70th birthday (they're on the East Coast now). I got his number and called him up to tell him happy birthday. I told him what an impact he had made on my life, and he really seemed to appreciate that.

I'll pass on what you said to my daughter, something to keep in mind. I actually have four kids, two of each. They certainly keep us busy. The older two are over 18 now, with wheels, jobs, and their own money, so that helps. I just wish I could get them to help around the house more. They're fun kids; we haven't had any of the stereotypical teenager troubles that you hear about.

The new job, yes and no. It would involve more time at home, and more traveling, if that makes any sense.

The OT at my current job comes and goes; sometimes it's long, crazy hours with lots of stress, on call having to jump and run at 3am if an important machine shuts down. Otherwise it's often an easy 4-10 schedule, 10 minutes to work, pretty laid back with time to put my feet up on my desk and watch youtube when everything is running perfectly. It's also very flexible so I can run home most any time if needed.

It's really hard to give up something good for something that might be better. It might be a good bit better, but I just don't know. I'll have a decision to make soon, and I'm getting pretty stressed about it. I've read some posts on here about a couple of other members who have also made career changes. It's a scary thing to do. I've never left a job I liked before.

 

[Flopsweat]

You two should write a book together.

 

[CLT65]

You two should write a book together.

Sorry for the thread drift and long rambling posts. Sometimes I get carried away.

 

[Flopsweat]

Sorry for the thread drift and long rambling posts. Sometimes I get carried away.

No it was interesting. You're both people I like, and it was endearing to watch you come together.

 

[CLT65]

No it was interesting. You're both people I like, and it was endearing to watch you come together.

My wife mentioned something this afternoon that made me think. OldBroad44 is about the same age as my mom, and I've been thinking about my mom a lot lately. We lost my dad several years ago and I talk to mom at least once a week on the phone. She's seems lonely and is a long ways away. But that's not really relevant to this thread, I don't think.

 

[OldBroad44]

I have to say, I really misjudged you, and I'm sincerely sorry for the earlier dust-up. You have a lot of wisdom in what you post. Thank you for that.

I think you nailed it regarding good teachers. The best ones really make a life-long impact on students. I'll never forget my fifth grade teacher, one teacher in particular in high school, and that one instructor at LCC. Funny thing about my favorite high school teacher: his daughter was in my class, and another good friend has kept in touch with her over the many years. A couple years ago I got word that she was reaching out to former students to send him cards for his 70th birthday (they're on the East Coast now). I got his number and called him up to tell him happy birthday. I told him what an impact he had made on my life, and he really seemed to appreciate that.

I'll pass on what you said to my daughter, something to keep in mind. I actually have four kids, two of each. They certainly keep us busy. The older two are over 18 now, with wheels, jobs, and their own money, so that helps. I just wish I could get them to help around the house more. They're fun kids; we haven't had any of the stereotypical teenager troubles that you hear about.

The new job, yes and no. It would involve more time at home, and more traveling, if that makes any sense.

The OT at my current job comes and goes; sometimes it's long, crazy hours with lots of stress, on call having to jump and run at 3am if an important machine shuts down. Otherwise it's often an easy 4-10 schedule, 10 minutes to work, pretty laid back with time to put my feet up on my desk and watch youtube when everything is running perfectly. It's also very flexible so I can run home most any time if needed.

It's really hard to give up something good for something that might be better. It might be a good bit better, but I just don't know. I'll have a decision to make soon, and I'm getting pretty stressed about it. I've read some posts on here about a couple of other members who have also made career changes. It's a scary thing to do. I've never left a job I liked before.

Hello @CLT65 . You don't owe me any apologies. It isn't easy to communicate by writing only with people you've never met. I figure a certain amount of misreading and misjudging of other people is inevitable under the circumstances. I've been on both sides of it. My remark about your being lucky I didn't describe the chemical structure of omega 3 and 6 fatty acids was meant as a joke at my expense, by the way. I've got a huge teaching drive. It has been known to, cough cough, sometimes get way outta control.

Seems to me that you might need to get serious about a chore chart. If you keep trying to do all the work involved in managing a house of six and taking care of an ill wife with no help you risk destroying your own health. And being burned out and resentful toward your kids. And of having no time to be a father to your two youngest. In addition, often the vacuum left in such situations sucks the oldest daughter into trying to be the mother and run the home. And that is just not fair to the daughter. She usually ends up deciding not to have any children herself because the drive to be mother and homemaker got burned up while she was still a kid herself.

When I was on the genetics faculty at U of Mn, one of my technicians was a senior in biochemical with a 4.0 average. A premed student. She was also working for me 15 hrs a week. In addition she was legal guardian of 6 younger siblings. There were 12 kids all together. Both parents had died in a car accident. One kid was married and away with a child of her own. The other 11 kids wanted to stay together, but none of their relatives could take 11 kids. The insurance and social security made it possible for them to keep their house and live in it, if only they had a guardian. So with the help of one grandmother, they made a plan.

Kid number one had her own family, so was out of the picture. Kid number two was ready to start college. So grandmother moved in with kids and became guardian of younger 10 kids for one year. Kid #2 was allowed to move out and start college and have a year adjusting to college, experiencing freedom, growing up. Then Kid 2 moved back home, assumed the guardianship of the 9 younger kids, continued going to college, and grandmother moved out and resumed her life. And kid 3, my technician, left home to attend college, experience freedom, etc. Then she moved back home, took over guardianship of six youngest kids, and resumed college.

One day I asked her how things were going. Apparently pretty smoothly. The younger kids did all the chores, cooked dinner, etc. There was no other way that was workable, since she was going to college full time and worked 15 hours a week. The youngest kid was five. The older kids helped and supervised the younger ones. The guardian's role was mostly just the paperwork. I thought it was a brilliant plan. And inspiring.

I think you're going to need to share the work with your kids. Otherwise, what would happen when you have to travel for work? Who would take care of your wife? If you just try to get people to do things in an ad hoc way, you will always be nagging and kids will be resisting. Call a family meeting, get kids to list all chores, build a chart. Let them assign chores if possible. Your only job should be doing your job, paying the bills, taxes, paperwork.

My expertise with respect to children: Never had any. However, I wave at them when they run home on the street after school and none has died yet.

 

[OldBroad44]

@CLT65 -- I agree with you about the impact of teachers.

My own favorite was my 4th grade teacher. But after unmemorable teachers for 1st through 3rd lucked out outrageously all the way from fourth through 6th. Winchester Massachusetts . First week of school. Fourth grade. I did the classic thing many faster learning kids do. I read all the textbooks from beginning to end during class. except math. Left math till last. I liked math. But its harder to do problems while participating in class on some other subject than to just read. Kids sometimes got caught and punished. But I was very discreet about it. Kept my finger in the right page where the class was in case I needed to turn back fast. Raised my hand early on to answer one of the more difficult questions so I'd be off the hook for a while. So I was working on the math book, and the bell ending the school day rang. And the teacher came over and said she wanted to see me. Ulp.

I sat down in the chair by her desk. She said, gently, "I've noticed you've read all your books except math. Its harder to do math with other things going on, isnt it? Because you have to work the problems." (!!! So much for thinking I had pulled the wool over anyone's eyes.) "I can let you take the book home if you'd like," she continued. (This school had no homework and didn't let kids take books home.) "I'd like that a lot," I said. This book had some really neat stuff. Scientific notation. Graphing. Graphing thrilled me. It was an entirely different way of thinking. The teacher went on to say that if I wanted to hand in problem sets she would check them for me. And there were lots more books after that one. She could get all I wanted. So I took the book home and continued working my way through it. I didn't usually hand in problems because I could check them myself. But once in a while I would hand in a problem set just to show her I appreciated the book. And once in a while I'd turn in the book and she'd give me the next grade. Nobody ever knew I was running ahead in math. Not my parents. Not any of the students.

This was one time I was in the same school system a second year . I remembered thinking that the year was going to be boring because I'd already finished the 5th grade math book and left it far behind. But then the fifth grade teacher started passing out a pile of books to each kid and I noticed my pile was one book higher than the rest. !!! So I took off from where I had stopped the year before. And once in a while I would turn in a book and the teacher would give me the next one. We never said a word about it.

I don't remember how far I got. Wasn't paying attention to that. However, the next year we moved to Florida, and as a new student starting 6th grade I was given the Florida 12-grade placement test. I placed 12+ in everything except calculus. Got 10th grade in calculus. That is, before anybody took calculus. Had even placed 12+ in geometry and trig, which I definitely hadn't covered yet. Just figured problems out from first principles.

Second week of school the sixth grade teacher initiated a private conversation with me. She said given my scores on the Florida 12 grade placement test, she couldn't do much for me. She proposed a deal. She and science didn't get along very well. Mostly she just wanted to teach english. The deal was she would let me spend most of my days in the school library and I would just come back for tests. I in turn would prepare and give a lecture on some area of science each Friday. My choice. This worked great. The kids got to listen to a science lecture from someone who was really excited by it. I got to learn I enjoyed teaching science and was good at it. And the teacher got to spend more time teaching what she enjoyed teaching.

 

[OldBroad44]

My wife mentioned something this afternoon that made me think. OldBroad44 is about the same age as my mom, and I've been thinking about my mom a lot lately. We lost my dad several years ago and I talk to mom at least once a week on the phone. She's seems lonely and is a long ways away. But that's not really relevant to this thread, I don't think.

Any thoughts about bringing your mother to live with or closer to you? Old folks can't necessarily live by themselves forever. My mother ran out of ability to live alone at 73. If an old person is going to need to move to live with or near one of their kids, its way easier if the move is earlier than later. While they can get around. Make new friends.

 

[Paolung]

If a Vegan and a vegetarian are jumping of a cliff to see who hits the bottom first, who wins?

Society.

 

[CLT65]

Any thoughts about bringing your mother to live with or closer to you? Old folks can't necessarily live by themselves forever. My mother ran out of ability to live alone at 73. If an old person is going to need to move to live with or near one of their kids, its way easier if the move is earlier than later. While they can get around. Make new friends.

My mom lives a couple thousand miles away and will never move. She would never leave the farm for one thing. My youngest sister, never married, lives with her now, and another sister lives nearby with her family, so she has family around. She still sounds real lonely though. She's always been real active but is starting to slow down.

My family was farm-centric to an extreme degree. When they would come out here, they wouldn't spend much time with us because we lived in town, and when we'd visit there, my dad was always too busy with his precious farm to spend much time with us. As a result my kids barely ever knew them. Yeah it's a sore subject. Despite this, I try my best to be a good son, call regularly and talk about things that cheer her up. She put up with my dad for half a century; she deserves a good life in her golden years (though she refuses to admit she's getting old, she's always been so active).

 

[Andy54Hawken]

All or nothing is a very inflexible way of thinking.
It also may inhibit growth or change.
All or nothing can also be seen as selfish mindset.

Something to consider here...
If someone thinks or does something differently than you do....
Unless it causes you or them harm...
As in actually causing harm..not just might harm or perceived harm...
Then , at times , it might be best just to say : 'So What ? "
Andy

 

[pharmseller]

Sometimes all or nothing is indicative of a strong moral stance, too.

Uncompromising in one's beliefs.

 

[bradsteen]

Sometimes all or nothing is indicative of a strong moral stance, too.

Uncompromising in one's beliefs.

I suppose it would depend on context. Generally I associate a strong moral stance with a line in the sand that one does not cross, but where there is plenty of gradient leading up to it. "All or nothing" to me is absolutism, which is a flawed way to think. Life isn't a binary set of A vs B decisions - it's way more complex.

 

[pharmseller]

So you're non-binary?

Not judging.

 

[pharmseller]

And notice I said "sometimes."