Ahhh, The Perfect Friday Night...

[3MTA3]

...But Saturday Morning Must Have Been Tough

Let's recap a series of great decision making that led the drunk driver damage at the end of my driveway this morning:
1 - Get drunk to the point of belligerence in a local bar
2 - Pick a fight
3 - Speed off in your F-350 just before the cops arrive to haul you away
4 - Lose control a few miles away and smash through a chain link fence at an elementary school


5 - Punch it harder to smash through the chain link fence again on your way out


6 - Damn that was cool the way the garbage flew everywhere...


7 - Who the hell put those concrete posts in that hedge I was trying to drive through?

8 - Get the hell out of there before you get caught
9 - Forget to pick up the license plate that fell off your front bumper
10 - 'Ello Off'cer...

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[Sstrand]

John Wayne was supposed to have said, "life is tough . . . It's a lot tougher if you're stupid."

Sheldon

 

[jbett98]

Back in the early seventies, the way to show a girl in high school how much you liked her, was to knock over the mailbox in front of her house, then brag about it to your buddies the next day at school.
My older sister was very good looking & popular, so after helping my Dad replace the wooden post 4 times in as many weeks, he brought home a 4" round solid steel post that was over six feet long.
He had me dig a hole that I could jump into and I can't remember how many bags of concrete it took to fill, but it was a lot.
Sure enough, two weeks later, a car tried it again, but they mangled their back bumper so bad, it came off when they peeled away.

 

[mrblond]

John Wayne was supposed to have said, "life is tough . . . It's a lot tougher if you're stupid."

Sheldon

This is the truth.. I know.

 

[The B]

Do you really have posts in your hedges?

 

[mkwerx]

Job security for cops, EMTs, tow truck drivers and fence builders...

 

[3MTA3]

Do you really have posts in your hedges?

It's my neighbor's hedge. The original owner made his own cement fence posts back in the 50's complete with rebar, each is a triangle about 6" on a side. When the property was split and sold later, my neighbor grew his hedge around the posts as it was a real job to try to remove them.

The gravel driveway is mine and goes about 200' to my house.

 

[The B]

So the idiot tried to drive through someones bushes and hit reinforced triangular concrete posts instead.... ?

That's ripe.

 

[spectra]

Back in the early seventies, the way to show a girl in high school how much you liked her, was to knock over the mailbox in front of her house, then brag about it to your buddies the next day at school.
My older sister was very good looking & popular, so after helping my Dad replace the wooden post 4 times in as many weeks, he brought home a 4" round solid steel post that was over six feet long.
He had me dig a hole that I could jump into and I can't remember how many bags of concrete it took to fill, but it was a lot.
Sure enough, two weeks later, a car tried it again, but they mangled their back bumper so bad, it came off when they peeled away.

Years ago we built a mailbox for a guy out of 1/4 steel as the local kids kept knocking it over..... The post was I think 6 or 8 inch not sure. Anyway he called us a few months later and said he had a car stuck to his mailbox

 

[The B]

A little side story... when I was a reckless, dangerous, stupid, drunk-driving teenager, I thought you could drive through those barrier chains they string up across things to deny motorvehicle traffic. I figured a 2500lbs car would defeat a stupid little chain, right?

No, the chain just rolls up over your hood and scratches the absolute bubblegum out of your paint, tears your emblem off, cracks and scratches your windshield and rips the vinyl ragtop off your roof before slamming back down on the truck and destroying your (albeit largely decorative) luggage rack.

Explaining the quantity of damage to my folks, without admitting any wrongdoing, was quite the exercise in creative storytelling..... of course done with a death hangover.

 

[clearconscience]

My brother did almost this same thing when he was 19. Went through a fence doing 120mph fence made his car do a 180 and demolished brand new aluminum baseball bleachers. To this day I have now idea how he got his car out but ended up driving away, but a local PD officer drive by minutes later and found his rear bumper with license plate. Followed the trail of debris to find good ol bro running red lights and stop signs. Pulled him over and my brother just handed him his wallet with his fake ID.
Got lucky two ways.
1. The back end of his car was crushed if that fence wouldn't have spun him around he would be dead.
2. The Leo had him sent to the hospital by ambulance and never had him sign his tickets or something to that effect so he got off with going to diversion for 2 years.
Having someone we know worked for the DAs office so that didn't hurt.