You know you're getting old when...

[Certaindeaf]

Your favorite words are STFU.
lol

 

[v0lcom13sn0w]

you know youre getting old when you go to bimart and see the sign NO TOBACCO SALE unless born before Dec 16th 1998

or when i get in a customer car and they have a class of 2016 tassle hanging from the rearview mirror

 

[gimpy51]

You know you're getting old when..
you realize that you likely have entirely too much .22 ammo.

I'm not and I don't so in reality this is unpossible. lol

This one hurts.

 

[Dungannon]

Arthritis, joint replacements, hair growing out of the ears, etc. Despite the outward evidence, an 18 year old lives on in the mind and thinks 'I'm just a little out-of-shape.'

 

[jbett98]

When you plan your day around where's the best place in town to take a leak.

 

[Captain O]

When I look at a young man and say to myself: "I have shoes that are older than him... and maybe a couple of ties"!

 

[CoastRange57]

I feel really old at work when they hire a new guy and I have been working at the same job long then he's be alive.

Better watch your azz. Little pri*k will probably be your boss next week.

 

[CoastRange57]

Hah! I told my coworker I was designing HVAC systems when he was still sitting in his highchair smearing Spaghetti-Os all over his face.

One smart azz millennial made some comment and I told him I was doing this job when your daddy was still enjoying his time alone in his bedroom son. ( Not exactly the words I used)

 

[Captain O]

One smart azz millennial made some comment and I told him I was doing this job when your daddy was still enjoying his time alone in his bedroom son. ( Not exactly the words I used)

Is that when this best of him was running onto his parent's bedsheets?

 

[Captain O]

Hah! I told my coworker I was designing HVAC systems when he was still sitting in his highchair smearing Spaghetti-Os all over his face.

Now that's funny! (Its a quote I'll use to insult a smart-mouthed millennial/f**ked up little "hipster").

 

[clearconscience]

I'm screwed I'm only 35 and I feel 90. My whole body hurts constantly.
My back more than anything.

 

[CoastRange57]

I'm screwed I'm only 35 and I feel 90. My whole body hurts constantly.
My back more than anything.

That is when my body started telling me the very same thing. Best pay attention and adjust your work. I decided to ignore those not so subtle warnings and paid the price in my early 50's and now at 59 I am more torn up than I ever should be.

 

[Sgt Nambu]

Arthritis, joint replacements, hair growing out of the ears, etc. Despite the outward evidence, an 18 year old lives on in the mind and thinks 'I'm just a little out-of-shape.'

View attachment 329304

Lookin' good there, Dungannon!!!

 

[Captain O]

I'm screwed I'm only 35 and I feel 90. My whole body hurts constantly.
My back more than anything.

You had better see a good chiropractor on a regular basis. If you do this, you'll likely save yourself a lot of pain and suffering.

 

[Diamondback]

a) Sir Elton John's "Crocodile Rock" is playing in a Muzak format as you get into an elevator.

b) When you approach the Box Office at your local theater and you're asked: "Will that be a Senior and a regular admission?"

c) Your waist measurement is more than half your age.

d) You proudly state that you paid less for your dental implants than you had for your used car.

e) You worry that your prescription arch supports won't fit more than one pair of shoes.

f) You have to search extensively and pay a premium price, for Vitalis Hair Tonic. (I had to do this very thing)!

Am I alone?

As for C, try when your waistline exceeds your age... 36 vs. 44.

Yeah, I'm a bowling-ball... wanna make something of it?

You know you're old when you see the Playmate of the Month and think she could be your daughter... and I'll bet it's even more pronounced for you guys my parents' age seeing the SAME POTM and realizing she could be your *grand*daughter.

 

[Diamondback]

Now that's funny! (Its a quote I'll use to insult a smart-mouthed millennial/f**ked up little "hipster").

What's your problem with smart-mouthed millennials? Some would rather side with the Crusty Old Farts than with young punks...

 

[Sgt Nambu]

One smart azz millennial made some comment and I told him I was doing this job when your daddy was still enjoying his time alone in his bedroom son. ( Not exactly the words I used)

THIS^^^^

I had this little puppy ask a couple of coworkers and myself something about when we were in the Army?
I answered and he said, Wow, you must have been in the old Army!
Now at that time I was about 50yrs old, the lead machinist in a heavy equipment mfg co, and I hiked, biked and exercised! You could have bounced anvils off of my chest! A blind man would have realized I was dangerous!
So's I gently asked the kid if he would enjoy having his azz kicked up around his head, so he couldn't spew out nonsense, by an oooold Army guy!
He politely declined.

He actually and seriously asked the question and said "Old Army!"
He was a pretty good helper. Worked hard and tried to learn!
He was cute as a puppy and dumb as a box of gravel, so we all called him Gravel Puppy!
I actually used him in a number of plots to annoy and rile my fellow workers! One including a former sailor, counseling, and the exploded gun turret on the Iowa. But the joints in my typing hand are on fire now so I will end. Another way to tell I'm Oooold!

 

[Diamondback]

When I look at a young man and say to myself: "I have shoes that are older than him... and maybe a couple of ties"!

Try "Punk, I got *skivvies* older than you"... (Well, not so much me since mine have to be disposed of as Biohazard after a year in the fart-filter rotation.)

 

[Captain O]

Most of the millennials don't know how to tie a tie, let alone how to iron a shirt. Half of them have difficulty realizing that a condom isn't a sleeping bag for a mouse!

 

[Diamondback]

Most of the millennials don't know how to tie a tie, let alone how to iron a shirt. Half of them have difficulty realizing that a condom isn't a sleeping bag for a mouse!

Ain't that the truth... [EDIT: Re ties] I have trouble fighting with mine regularly, which is why back when Totes Outlet still had 'em I used to buy "Tie It Once" devices that also provided break-away features when some moron in need of an arsebeating decided to try using the tie as leverage.