Not like in the Movies

[Tully Mars]

As some of you know my BiL has been living with us for quite some time. He has been on hospice because of the choices he made in his life. He was the baby of their family and was coddled. He was a life long abuser of drugs, and for awhile booze. All his adult life some one has had to clean up the messes he left behind so I guess this is fitting.

At approx. 09:30 two days ago he splattered his brains all over my guest room(the room he was staying in). He called his Aunt saying he was having a hard time breathing. I was sitting in the living room at the time with the TV off on the laptop as I am now. Didn't call out, nothing. The Aunt lives next door but cannot get around without help or a cane. She then called her brother(Wife's uncle that I'm always talking about) who came over and beat on the door telling me what happened. We go back there and BiL is sitting in his chair saying he can't breathe. I turn up the 02 and dial 911. I come back out to the living room to watch for the EMS. We live out aways and the GPS will not direct you to our place. Uncle is sitting with BiL who asks for some water. After returning with the water BiL tells him he wants to be alone to pray for a bit.(He played at religion whenever it suited his purposes)

Uncle and I are sitting in the living room talking and waiting when we hear a gun shot.
We are talking nanoseconds here, but part of me thought WTF? part of me thought a gunshot in the house is supposed to be louder than that and then the other part jumped up and said,"bubblegum he just shot himself." I run in with Uncle behind me to see BiL sitting on the floor, slumped over blood pouring from a GSW perfectly centered in his forehead. Uncle runs outside.(I found out later to call the local cop buddy thinking he would get here fastest) I call 911 back and for some reason connection is bubblegumty. I'm explaining what has happened, go back into the room, BiL is conscious and babbling. I tell the operator, and mention I'm going to remove the weapon when she shouts "NO" and not to touch anything. I go back out to the living room window hoping for better reception when I hear the 2nd shot. As I run back into the room I tell the operator what has happened. He's fallen over can't tell if he's breathing but he does have a very rapid/strong pulse. Shortly after the local PD showed up and I was no longer allowed into the room until everything was concluded several hours later.

He centered the 2nd shot perfectly over the first and it was the 2nd that made most of the mess. I am still amazed at how quiet the shots were. Weapon was a 9mm hand gun. I suppose by placing the muzzle against his forehead it kind of muffled the shot, because honestly it wasn't as loud as the standard .22lr shot outdoors. More like a loud pop gun from when we were kids.

So once again this prick left a bag of bubblegum for someone else to clean up. I was up scrubbing walls, cutting up carpet and burning everything until 22:00 that night. Of course he didn't have anything in place as far as final arrangements so on top of replacing the carpet, patching two bullet holes in the ceiling/roof and repainting the friggin walls I get to pay to plant his worthless bubblegum.

But that's the easy parts.
Now some one has got to try and explain to the young kids in the family why uncle bubblegumtard is not here anymore. His aunt and uncle are getting up there and could've had a heart attack or stroke over this,esp waiting out there in the 90 degree heat hoping to hear something. Folks had to take off work to come take care of them, including my wife. This is bringing back bad memories for her uncle, who years back had to identify his mother after her house burnt The list just goes on and on.

Personally I couldn't give two good bubblegums he's dead,but I am pissed at the bag of bubblegum he left us all holding-once again..

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[Caveman Jim]

So sorry you had to go through that, you can pick your friends but you can't pick your family. It's sad that some people just don't know how to take care of themselves nor care too for that matter.
Good luck to you guys through this.

 

[Joe13]

As some of you know my BiL has been living with us for quite some time. He has been on hospice because of the choices he made in his life. He was the baby of their family and was coddled. He was a life long abuser of drugs, and for awhile booze. All his adult life some one has had to clean up the messes he left behind so I guess this is fitting.

At approx. 09:30 two days ago he splattered his brains all over my guest room(the room he was staying in). He called his Aunt saying he was having a hard time breathing. I was sitting in the living room at the time with the TV off on the laptop as I am now. Didn't call out, nothing. The Aunt lives next door but cannot get around without help or a cane. She then called her brother(Wife's uncle that I'm always talking about) who came over and beat on the door telling me what happened. We go back there and BiL is sitting in his chair saying he can't breathe. I turn up the 02 and dial 911. I come back out to the living room to watch for the EMS. We live out aways and the GPS will not direct you to our place. Uncle is sitting with BiL who asks for some water. After returning with the water BiL tells him he wants to be alone to pray for a bit.(He played at religion whenever it suited his purposes)

Uncle and I are sitting in the living room talking and waiting when we hear a gun shot.
We are talking nanoseconds here, but part of me thought WTF? part of me thought a gunshot in the house is supposed to be louder than that and then the other part jumped up and said,"bubblegum he just shot himself." I run in with Uncle behind me to see BiL sitting on the floor, slumped over blood pouring from a GSW perfectly centered in his forehead. Uncle runs outside.(I found out later to call the local cop buddy thinking he would get here fastest) I call 911 back and for some reason connection is bubblegumty. I'm explaining what has happened, go back into the room, BiL is conscious and babbling. I tell the operator, and mention I'm going to remove the weapon when she shouts "NO" and not to touch anything. I go back out to the living room window hoping for better reception when I hear the 2nd shot. As I run back into the room I tell the operator what has happened. He's fallen over can't tell if he's breathing but he does have a very rapid/strong pulse. Shortly after the local PD showed up and I was no longer allowed into the room until everything was concluded several hours later.

He centered the 2nd shot perfectly over the first and it was the 2nd that made most of the mess. I am still amazed at how quiet the shots were. Weapon was a 9mm hand gun. I suppose by placing the muzzle against his forehead it kind of muffled the shot, because honestly it wasn't as loud as the standard .22lr shot outdoors. More like a loud pop gun from when we were kids.

So once again this prick left a bag of bubblegum for someone else to clean up. I was up scrubbing walls, cutting up carpet and burning everything until 22:00 that night. Of course he didn't have anything in place as far as final arrangements so on top of replacing the carpet, patching two bullet holes in the ceiling/roof and repainting the friggin walls I get to pay to plant his worthless bubblegum.

But that's the easy parts.
Now some one has got to try and explain to the young kids in the family why uncle bubblegumtard is not here anymore. His aunt and uncle are getting up there and could've had a heart attack or stroke over this,esp waiting out there in the 90 degree heat hoping to hear something. Folks had to take off work to come take care of them, including my wife. This is bringing back bad memories for her uncle, who years back had to identify his mother after her house burnt The list just goes on and on.

Personally I couldn't give two good bubblegums he's dead,but I am pissed at the bag of bubblegum he left us all holding-once again..

I am very sorry to hear you had to go thru that.

Suicide is a pretty selfish thing to do to your family and any friends you have.

Thank-You, for sharing a very personal event in your life that some people may learn from.

 

[po18guy]

A horrible trauma! First things first.

Eternal rest grant unto that tortured soul, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon him. May his soul and the souls of all the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace. Grant the consolation of your Holy Spirit to his loved ones in this, their time of sorrow. Amen.

 

[Alexx1401]

Sorry to hear. I am always amazed at the way people do this. Shows a real lack of care about anyone but "me". I have long said that if that's what they want to do why do it where everyone else has to clean up the mess they made. Especially when someone does this in the home for the loved ones to come and find. Hope you can soon get life back on track and get the mess behind you.

 

[Tully Mars]

I am very sorry to hear you had to go thru that.

Suicide is a pretty selfish thing to do to your family and any friends you have.

Thank-You, for sharing a very personal event in your life that some people may learn from.

It is selfish.
I can't say that I wouldn't think about that route if say I were to have advanced cancer with extreme pain or something like that. No one knows until they are in that position. I CAN say I would choose a method that didn't result in anything other than "falling asleep" and not waking up.

THAT is exactly why I made this post. In the hopes that it may well help some one else in the future.

 

[cigars]

Sorry to hear that. You had the courage and heart of a lion to take him in. It's sad that it came down to this. He had problems that ran deeper than anyone could do anything for. While he's not feeling anymore pain, your family is and they will still need your strength.
Creation is a lot cheaper than burial if you want to be practical.

 

[308]

Tortured souls. Sounds like the enemy won.

 

[Tully Mars]

Creation is a lot cheaper than burial if you want to be practical.

1,000 bucks and he is being sent there as soon as the State ME is finished with him. I know it's the rules, but honestly why do they need an autopsy fer pete's sake? The 3" hole in the back of his head should be a pretty good clue..

 

[JustSomeGuy]

Wow. I'm sorry he put you through that.

I'm curious about something, and If you think I'm prying you're more than welcome to tell me to pixx off and I won't be offended. How did he need two shots with a 9mm in the center of the forhead at less than point blank range to finish the job? The reason I'm curious is that after a long bout with bone cancer in his spine and the insurance company refusing to pay for his pain medication my dad killed himself with a 380 ACP. He placed the gun under his chin and the bullet exited the top of his head and pretty much evacuated his skull.

 

[clearconscience]

Sorry man. This sounds like a horrible situation.

Suicide may release their burden, but creates a new one for all those left behind.

 

[Tully Mars]

Wow. I'm sorry he put you through that.

I'm curious about something, and If you think I'm prying you're more than welcome to tell me to pixx off and I won't be offended. How did he need two shots with a 9mm in the center of the forhead at less than point blank range to finish the job? The reason I'm curious is that after a long bout with bone cancer in his spine and the insurance company refusing to pay for his pain medication my dad killed himself with a 380 ACP. He placed the gun under his chin and the bullet exited the top of his head and pretty much evacuated his skull.

The human body is a funny thing sometimes. I can only guess that the FMJ rounds he used didn't expand/ hit the "right" spot whatever on the first round. He was awake and babbling after the 1st shot. Hell he still had a rapid pulse after the second. For how long I don't know because when the 1st LEO arrived I was no longer allowed into the room. The state investigator and my wife's son (also a local LEO) said that a second shot is pretty common even with head shots. Go figure.

 

[Vendor Hidden]

Self-destructive people seldom think of others.

Your story reminds me of my own ugly family suicide story…

My younger sister killed herself with meth three years ago at age 48 in her bathroom while her 13 year old son was visiting for the weekend (her divorce a few years prior put him in the custody of his father). He was the one that busted open the locked bathroom door and found her gurgling and doing whatever terrible things a dying meth-head does. Preliminary reports had COD as "heart attack" but toxicology reports came back a month later and changed it to "drug overdose - methamphetamine".

I loved my sister, but she was a mess of bad decisions ever since high school. She hid her drug abuse from me, her only remaining sibling, which was pretty easy to do since I didn't have much contact with her. She blew through a $100,000+ inheritance from our father in less than a year, which was big red flag, so I suspected she was in to something. Living on the other side of the state, I wasn't in a position to do much to help. Frankly, any "help" would have been wasted unless she was willing to change, which she definitely wasn't.

I'm still angry at my kid sister for what she did. She really left a mess for her kids to clean up, physical, financial, and psychological. Her son, my nephew, is a great kid, and I think he's pulled through very well. He's looking to enlist in the Marines and become a corpsman then a paramedic with the fire department. It's a family thing (his dad and mine - both military members and firemen). I'm leaving my guns, and my dad's Colt 1911 to him in my will.

His older sisters are a mixed bag. They're both adults age-wise, but still real immature with lots of their mother's traits, so it could go either way for them.

Anyway, that's my ugly family suicide story.

Life is messy enough, without death adding to it.

Sorry it happened in your house. That sucks. I'd probably end up taking the walls down to the studs just to be sure everything was gone.

 

[JustSomeGuy]

The human body is a funny thing sometimes. I can only guess that the FMJ rounds he used didn't expand/ hit the "right" spot whatever on the first round. He was awake and babbling after the 1st shot. Hell he still had a rapid pulse after the second. For how long I don't know because when the 1st LEO arrived I was no longer allowed into the room. The state investigator and my wife's son (also a local LEO) said that a second shot is pretty common even with head shots. Go figure.

The coroner's report on my dad said that the muzzle blast was responsible for the majority of the intracranial damage because it was a "contact gunshot wound". I would have thought with a 9mm The increased muzzle blast would have done more damage. You're right...go figure.

 

[Jonnyuma]

Wow... that is an intense story.
Sorry that he put you and the family through that.

 

[EPS]

Well I guess I will ask the question was it his gun or your gun and how did he get it because that's what there going to ask you

 

[Flymph]

Wow... i'm sorry you and the family had that burden placed upon you. Condolences to you and yours.

 

[Tully Mars]

Well I guess I will ask the question was it his gun or your gun and how did he get it because that's what there going to ask you

His pistol.
Down here in nowhere Alabama EVERYONE has a firearm. It didn't seem to be a big deal to the investigators.

 

[Captain O]

Self-destructive people seldom think of others.

Your story reminds me of my own ugly family suicide story…

My younger sister killed herself with meth three years ago at age 48 in her bathroom while her 13 year old son was visiting for the weekend (her divorce a few years prior put him in the custody of his father). He was the one that busted open the locked bathroom door and found her gurgling and doing whatever terrible things a dying meth-head does. Preliminary reports had COD as "heart attack" but toxicology reports came back a month later and changed it to "drug overdose - methamphetamine".

I loved my sister, but she was a mess of bad decisions ever since high school. She hid her drug abuse from me, her only remaining sibling, which was pretty easy to do since I didn't have much contact with her. She blew through a $100,000+ inheritance from our father in less than a year, which was big red flag, so I suspected she was in to something. Living on the other side of the state, I wasn't in a position to do much to help. Frankly, any "help" would have been wasted unless she was willing to change, which she definitely wasn't.

I'm still angry at my kid sister for what she did. She really left a mess for her kids to clean up, physical, financial, and psychological. Her son, my nephew, is a great kid, and I think he's pulled through very well. He's looking to enlist in the Marines and become a corpsman then a paramedic with the fire department. It's a family thing (his dad and mine - both military members and firemen). I'm leaving my guns, and my dad's Colt 1911 to him in my will.

His older sisters are a mixed bag. They're both adults age-wise, but still real immature with lots of their mother's traits, so it could go either way for them.

Anyway, that's my ugly family suicide story.

Life is messy enough, without death adding to it.

Sorry it happened in your house. That sucks. I'd probably end up taking the walls down to the studs just to be sure everything was gone.

Sometimes it happens that way. Death comes to us all, sometimes by our own hand. I'm sorry that you had to enure her descent into self-destruction and ultimately depravity/suicide.

Blessings.

 

[rick benjamin]

I am sad you had to go through this mess.
What you feel, see is intense now.
It will fade in a while.
Also known as PTSD, shell shock, bad day.
I am going through the bad day again, myself.