I bought a guy a sandwich today

[Wifey]

I work at a major-chain grocery store in the northeast area. We have a "recycling center" at our location which makes our store the center for this in a vast surrounding area. Different dealings with this daily.

Today I looked out the front doors (we have 2 in and 2 out) and saw a man I didn't recognize sitting against the pillar on our porch. Not wanting to stereotype I will just say that he was unkempt; wearing jeans and a light sweatshirt and had a very heavy, insolated coat on the ground next to him.

We had security today but I wanted to handle this myself so I went out and tried to make small talk to open discussion up. He immediately suggested that I was going to kick him off the property because that's what everyone else does. I tried to have further conversation with him asking him if he thought perhaps this was because he picked poor locations to "rest". I said "this is our front porch and we're in the business of selling groceries so that wouldn't make this the best place for you to sit". I told him about the huge back parking lot and he said it was full of rats. In talking further he said he sat back there eating and the rats came and took his food. He finally got to the fact that he was just waiting for the security guy to bring him something to eat - he said he needed something soft - and I asked what he would like. He said he would like a sandwich. At this piont I was attempting to discuss with him that I wanted to make sure he understood that this was not the spot where he would sit until someone fed him and he became beligerent.

Fast forward to me leaving him as the security guard was bringing him food. I bought him a sandwich and a bottle of water and when i went out to give it to him a customer was handing him a dollar bill. He had a bottle of water next to him on his jacket and told me he didn't need the f'ing water. I suggested he could use it later and he asked if it was cold - because the one he had wasn't. Another customer is handing him a dollar bill and he finallty stands up. looks at me, and tells me that I must be a good luck charm because since I confronted him people keep handing him money.

He gets up, picks up his jacket and put the sandwich in the inside pocket and the water in another, constantly complaining about the weight of his jacket. At this point one of our regular customers is coming out and hands me a bag with a sandwich and a bowl of cut melon for him. I explain it all to him and he goes.

I decided to take a check about 15 minutes later and he was just outside the recycling room looking down into the bag. He picked the sandwich out, put it back, picked up the melon bowl, put it back and walked away. I asked if he was taking the food and he said he'd just leave it for someone else.

At this point I was already a bit put off that he showed no appreciation whatsoever for any of the kindness other than the cash people were handing him. I walked over, picked up the bag and told him not to come back. He yelled "f*** you". I turned around and yelled back "you're welcome. I just bought you lunch. You're welcome. Get out of here".

Of course some of my customers saw this encounter and most just talked of the homeless problem. I explained that I made the decision at first to handle this differently by not just telling the guy to beat feet. And now I am left with a bad taste in my mouth; a punch in the stomach; the question of why bother to seem caring because I'm probably going to be bubblegum on?

Courtesy, Dignity & Respect is our company motto. Where does it begin and where does it end?


Thanks for listening - I feel better now.

Wifey

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[LowerRiver]

That's about typical from what I see. All the stoplights they sit at are riddled with garbage from the stuff they're given. They usually leave behind the apples bananas and oranges. I'm of the thought that 99% of them CHOOSE to live that way.

 

[Andy54Hawken]

You were decent and respectful to someone...that says a lot about you and your character.
How that someone reacts , to what you do , is beyond your control and even at times understanding.
Don't stop doing what is right 'cause of something you can't change...
Andy

 

[cigars]

There's nothing wrong with being charitable. Around here though, if you choose to deal with individuals directly you are taking chances with your personal safety. Business is business. If you need to keep your storefront safe and presentable then that's your job. There's plenty of places to donate time and money to help out those who want and appreciate help. Union Gospel Mission is a good place to start.
Like my dad used to tell me, there's a lot of hurt in the world. You can't be responsible for all of it.

 

[Member 34319]

In Reno the homeless were a bit worse off. Especially in winter. So I usually had a couple of inexpensive gloves in the car to hand out to them in the winters if they didn't have any. Everyone I gave a set to usually put them on in seconds. They were always appreciative of them. It's as if I gave them a million dollars.

Living in Oregon now. I don't give anything to any of them.

I used to work at the Sportsmans Warehouse on 185th in Hillsboro as the Receiving Manager. Which meant I got there early everyday and opened the store. I used to park at the farthest end of the lot, and usually two to three times a week a lady would park her car there around the same time as me. She would remove her nice, not battered jacket, to reveal beat up and dirty clothing. She would then go to her trunk, pick through a handful of cardboard signs, I'm guessing she rotated. Finally she would walk down to the onramp or offramp. I take it she only worked there during the morning rush, as I never saw her car there after 10am.

The bums and pandhandlers up here are something else. Don't let this discourage you @Wifey to be the good person you are. Though if it were me, I'd sure be tempted to go get the hose.

 

[The Heretic]

I can't speak for all homeless - certainly some of them don't want to be homeless (e.g., single mothers with kids, families with kids), but yes, some are like this example. They don't necessarily intentionally choose to be homeless, but this is where their other choices logically lead them.

Take my ex for example - please.

She has a decent income (over $1K/mo. and I think it increases yearly, which is enough to rent a small apartment and get food where she resides) from SSI disability that is partly based on my income and SSI taxes as her ex spouse (but does not affect my SSI when I retire).

Initially she stopped working and decided to be 'disabled' because she didn't want to work anymore.

She abuses prescription drugs (does doctor shopping to get more). She increasingly gets into trouble due to emotional problems and doing the drugs and hoards stuff and makes a mess wherever she is, then gets evicted because of the mess, the trouble she causes and that she spends money on things other than her rent and gets behind with her rent.

Then she complains about how people are out to get her and how nobody helps her, while she abuses every relationship she makes with friends and so on. They are a 'friend' until they can't or won't help her anymore and then they are her enemies.

So she winds up on the street and/or in shelters and can't get a rental place to stay because she has been evicted and arrested so many times and she can't hang on to money and now she is actually physically and mentally disabled so she can't work even if she wants to. She gets arrested because people take her in for a night or a week, feeling sorry for her, and then she won't leave - she just lays around eating cheetoos and watching TV. Then they have to call the police and trespass her and she winds up in jail.

Repeat and rinse.

All the time she is mostly belligerent because she says she is being mistreated (i.e., people stop giving her money or whatever else it is she wants). The world owes her - her situation is the fault of everybody else and she never wants to take responsibility for her own decisions. She doesn't want to be homeless - she would much prefer that she had a roof over her head and she would be waited on hand and foot while she is abusive to everyone around her.

Yup - I know the type all too well.

 

[ACO]

Just watched a guy yesterday morning go up to a self labeled "homeless and hungry" guy in his 20s outside fred meyer. The guy offered him a place to stay, work on his land, and meals. I was shaking my head before he even finished his heartfelt offering. Go figure, the kid said he was ok for the night, and was going to head south so he couldn't stay.


Guess who's still there this morning?

It's a racket. I see the same ones every day on my commute. The couple that rotates, the gal who's been "pregnant and hungry" for the last 2 years, the "disabled vets", and all the rest. Best I'd ever do is take them to one of the numerous shelters that would help them with exactly what they're complaining about.

 

[41mag]

Kudos to Wifey for trying to offer the High Road despite the cumulative warning signs such would be fruitless.

I spent nearly 7 years of my early career as a social worker interacting daily with similar situations. There are complex theories that never provide realistic solutions. My own nephew became one of the 'Homeless Caste Untouchables' despite education, job skills, attentive extended family, all of which he rejected just to eventually pointlessly die on those streets that didn't provide solution for him either.

The frustration of irrational responses to genuine humane efforts eventually close another door to those in this Caste.

The institutional failures of the PC racketeers themselves, have provided no solutions.

 

[cigars]

My favorite is the guy on the traffic island just off the Ross Island bridge, by the piano store. His gimmick was holding a sign, sunglasses and blind person's cane (with no wires attached) and baggy clothes. The sign read, "need money for eyesight medication". He would walk the length of the traffic island, about face and walk back. He would fake being blind. How did I know? 1) his socks always matched. 2) One day I was driving by and it must have been the end of his shift because I saw him running across SE Powell and get into his car. He's been at it for years there. He probably lives in a bigger house than I do.

 

[jbett98]

I saw a guy in a nice BMW wave a $100 bill out his window and the blind guy saw the money from 10 cars away. He hobbled down the meridian towards the red light at a good clip to snatch that windfall, but the guy timed the green light just perfectly and took off down the road.

 

[Mister Bisley]

I was in the Portland Alphabet District a couple weeks ago, while some family was in town visiting and insisted we go hang out in Portland. I saw a homeless guy pushing a wheelchair down the road and even run across the street with it.

Later after dinner, I saw the same guy sitting in the chair at an intersection with a sign that said something about a disabled vet. While he might be a disabled vet, he was most likely using the chair as a prop.

 

[Carbon]

Awhile back I was eating at a local joint and looked out the window and saw a local transient digging through the trash can across the street looking for food and drinks from empty containers. So, having talked with him before I decided I would buy him some food, we walk to the grocer nearby and I ask him whats his favorite, he responds fried chicken and coke, I return to him outside the store and hand it to him, he then proceeds to walk off, and I ask him if he would rather eat at the picnik table out front, he said no and had a better place he said. I went about my day, and drove past him on a bench down the road eating. He never said thanks or anything, but having previously spoken with him, I knew he had a few screws loose upstairs, he didnt blame anyone, he knew he did too many drugs and burned his bridges, missed his opportunities, felt like too much time was already gone, I havent seen him in awhile, he might be dead now. Good people do the right thing when they can, not for thanks or public accolade, but because its the right thing to do. Keep on doing good, dispite the negativity, they might not thank you, but id venture a guess that their "ancestors" up in "heaven" do.

Granted there are thoes that abuse, when I was working construction I was in charge of a bunch of hired on hands from a labor biz, I saw one of my former workers on an offramp once and discussed it with another manager, he said he made hundreds a day in handouts, so he said why work?

 

[partsed]

I saw a guy in a nice BMW wave a 100 bill out his window and the blind guy saw the money from 10 cars away. He hobbled down the meridian towards the red light at a good clip to snatch that windfall, but the guy timed the green light just perfectly and took off down the road.

 

[American123]

You can't buy drugs very effectively with food you are given. C'mon man, even the bum knows that!

 

[clearconscience]

Aaaaaand that's why I lost my humanity for the homeless population. They want free money, and nothing else.

I've watched homeless people turn down for while they're begging for money,
And even get mad that people are around trying to help them screwing up their sob scene they try to create.

They should be rounded up and housed in Wapato. Fed gruel.

 

[EPS]

They love you when you give them cash.
But trying buying them food and they get pissed off .
They need cash money .drug dealers don't take food for DRUGS

 

[Mister Bisley]

he said he made hundreds a day in handouts, so he said why work?

I think this is disgusting. 1) Taking advantage of people's generosity 2) Taking from those that can truly use the handout.

I don't give people on the street jack 99.99% of the time, for just these reasons. Why should my hard earned money go towards supporting someone's drug or alcohol dependency? I have helped people who I believed were in dire need and I have also volunteered and donated food at soup kitchens.

I once put $40 of gas in someone's car because he said he got robbed of his wallet and cell phone and had to get back home to his family. He was stuck in our town for 2 days and only raised $10. He was in town on business, or so the story goes. I told him to buy something to eat and I would fill his tank. The guy swore he would pay me back if I gave him my mailing address. I wasn't really expecting anything back, but I gave him my work address for security purposes. Low and behold...two weeks later, he sent me a letter of gratitude and a check for $60. He was truly a person in need at the time.

 

[Bones2586]

Concur...don't give anyone anything any more, maybe a bottle of water on a hot day. Too many services for the truly homeless and destitute to utilize, and choose not to, due to a variety of rules that need to be followed by a shelter or charity organization. First and foremost rule for many of them, get off the drugs. The folks choose not to, would opt to keep using, so are not allowed to receive the help from those organizations. Choices, live with the consequences of the decision...

 

[C-Run]

When I was younger working in grocery, a buddy and I were coming back from lunch and a homeless man stopped us in the parking lot and asked if we had spare change. He said he was starving and his ribs were rattling, this was before debit cards so we had change in our pockets from lunch so we gave him our spare change. My buddy was the produce mgr and I was the bakery mgr so we worked on opposite ends of the store, he called me on the com line and said look down the wine isle, the homeless man was buying a bottle of wine. That was the first and last time I have gave them anything.

 

[Mikej]

Awhile back I was eating at a local joint and looked out the window and saw a local transient digging through the trash can across the street looking for food and drinks from empty containers. So, having talked with him before I decided I would buy him some food, we walk to the grocer nearby and I ask him whats his favorite, he responds fried chicken and coke, I return to him outside the store and hand it to him, he then proceeds to walk off, and I ask him if he would rather eat at the picnik table out front, he said no and had a better place he said. I went about my day, and drove past him on a bench down the road eating. He never said thanks or anything, but having previously spoken with him, I knew he had a few screws loose upstairs, he didnt blame anyone, he knew he did too many drugs and burned his bridges, missed his opportunities, felt like too much time was already gone, I havent seen him in awhile, he might be dead now. Good people do the right thing when they can, not for thanks or public accolade, but because its the right thing to do. Keep on doing good, dispite the negativity, they might not thank you, but id venture a guess that their "ancestors" up in "heaven" do.

Granted there are thoes that abuse, when I was working construction I was in charge of a bunch of hired on hands from a labor biz, I saw one of my former workers on an offramp once and discussed it with another manager, he said he made hundreds a day in handouts, so he said why work?

I give extra or help because I like to and I feel better about myself afterward. If I get something in return fine, if not, so be it.

There's a homeless couple in the hood that turn their cans in at the store. They've been respectful of Wifey, and others, at the store. She's known them for a good while. They drive one of those mini motor homes. The ones that are built with the little pick-up cab chassis? They're never at one place long enough to get the boot. This last Christmas morning we went to the local dive bar that's open on Christmas Day for some video poker, bloody mary's and breakfast. Those folks had their rig parked on the street on that cold morning. I decided to buy the two of them full breakfasts.

Skip ahead to a couple of weeks ago. Wifey was dealing with some kind of altercation in the bottle area. She ordered some miscreant to leave and he indicated some kind of threat toward Wifey. The dude with the mini motor home happened to be there. He jumped right in between Wifey and the miscreant.