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Help - Need to Find Book for Valentine's Day

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by 3MTA3, Feb 11, 2013.

  1. 3MTA3

    3MTA3 DMZ between Liberty and Tyranny Behind Enemy Lines Bronze Supporter

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    Hey everybody, the good news is that I think my wife has finally taken an interest in the outdoors and hunting. A couple of days ago, she even asked for a book about camouflage for Valentine's Day. Yes, that's right, Valentine's Day! It really took me by surprise. Usually, all she wants is useless crap like flowers, candy, and jewelry, but not this year! The bad news is that I can't seem to find it anywhere. I've been to all the nearby sporting goods stores and have searched on line but I'm having trouble locating it. The title is something like "Fifty Shades of Green". Have any of you bow hunters or military types run across this? I'm getting pretty desperate and Valentine's day is only four days from now. I'd be grateful if any of you can help get me a line on this. Thanks!
     
  2. Ironbar

    Ironbar Tigard, OR Well-Known Member

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    Two words: Powells Books.
     
  3. AMT

    AMT Vancouver, WA. Gold Supporter Gold Supporter

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    :laugh: Did she specifically say "camouflage"? Are you sure the book wasn't "50 Shades of Grey"? HUGE difference. :laugh:
     
  4. FortunateSon

    FortunateSon Marion County Bronze Supporter Bronze Supporter

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    ^^^^ THIS ^^^^

    :bluelaugh:

    She could suddenly be into the outdoors and hunting, but camoflauge?

    GET HER 50 SHADES OF GREY. YOU WON'T REGRET IT.
     
  5. 3MTA3

    3MTA3 DMZ between Liberty and Tyranny Behind Enemy Lines Bronze Supporter

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    Fifty Shades of Gray? Is that about Urban Camo??? I wonder what the heck she's thinking?
     
  6. Mark W.

    Mark W. Silverton, OR Bronze Supporter Bronze Supporter

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    No 50 shades of grey is a womans soft po rn book.
     
  7. Mark W.

    Mark W. Silverton, OR Bronze Supporter Bronze Supporter

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  8. 3MTA3

    3MTA3 DMZ between Liberty and Tyranny Behind Enemy Lines Bronze Supporter

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    Oh, man, this is embarrassing! It's even worse than the time I had toilet paper stuck to the bottom of my shoe at Walmart. Fortunately, I'd forgotten to pull my pants, so nobody noticed :cool: Looks like I gotta go to Jared's instead of Wholesale Sports tonight on my way home... :(
     
  9. 3MTA3

    3MTA3 DMZ between Liberty and Tyranny Behind Enemy Lines Bronze Supporter

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    Well, its a good thing I skipped Jared's on the way home. I wanted to make sure I had it straight, so the wife and I talked it over. When I asked her if she really wanted a dirty book, she got real excited, threw up her hands and said to just skip the book, and get her something real small with feathers from someplace called "Flyrods of Hollywood". I never heard of them before, but figure she must have seen a commercial on TV while I was at work. I figure maybe a nice sage VXP outfit with #3 line and some dry flys ought to do the trick. The best part (heh heh) is that she will probably lose interest after a couple of months and I will get to use it. This is going to be the BEST Valentine's Day EVER!!!
     
  10. Angie

    Angie Reno, NV Bronze Supporter Bronze Supporter

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    LMAO

    <----bought myself 50 Shades and real all three books in 10 days.
     
  11. 3MTA3

    3MTA3 DMZ between Liberty and Tyranny Behind Enemy Lines Bronze Supporter

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    Well, the big day has arrived and I thought I'd give an update!

    When I got home from work tonight the wife had set up some candles in the bedroom and was looking for a lighter. Funny thing is that she was wearing nightie and it must have been an old one because it was so thin I could see right through it. I'll have to get her a nice heavy new flannel one pretty soon. Anyway, I told her not to worry about the power going out and to put some clothes on before she got cold.

    I started out by treating her to a nice romantic dinner at the Sizzler. I had a nice steak and she got the Malibu chicken. Since it was a special occasion we went whole hog and got the unlimited buffet. Man, oh, man Sizzler really had it dialed in tonight! I don't think I've ever made as many trips to the taco bar. Did you know that even though it's unlimited that they will cut you off after ten trips for your own safety? It's a fact. I don't think I've ever had such a good meal or eaten so much. I was so full I had to undo my belt and take a little nap before we left. When I woke up I saw that my wife was sitting at another table. Apparently she'd gotten a bit turned around on her way back from the ladies room and didn't see me.

    I could hardly wait to get home to give her her new Sage fly rod! When she unwrapped it she got all emotional and started crying out of happiness. I gave her a big bear hug and she told me she didn't deserve this. I reassured her by telling her she was worth every dollar, and if she wanted I'd even rattlecan it pink for her. She got so emotional at that point that she could no longer control herself and started pounding my back with her hands and my chest with her head. I just held her tenderly while savoring the moment. The tears of joy started again and the emotional overload completely wore her out so she wound up going to bed early. The poor thing was so tired that she accidentally locked the door without realizing it. She does that sometimes, but I don't mind. I just stay up late and web surf looking for my next gun until she comes out to use the bathroom.

    All in all an outstanding Valentine's Day! Not sure if I will be able to top this one next year, but I'm sure gunna try.

    Almost forgot - I have a birthday coming up in a couple of months. Just before she went to bed my wife said that she was going to even things up by making me a "cook hold" for my birthday! I'm not sure what that is, but I think it might be something for my bar-b-q. I can't wait!