Help - Need to Find Book for Valentine's Day

3MTA3 · Feb 11, 2013

Hey everybody, the good news is that I think my wife has finally taken an interest in the outdoors and hunting. A couple of days ago, she even asked for a book about camouflage for Valentine's Day. Yes, that's right, Valentine's Day! It really took me by surprise. Usually, all she wants is useless crap like flowers, candy, and jewelry, but not this year! The bad news is that I can't seem to find it anywhere. I've been to all the nearby sporting goods stores and have searched on line but I'm having trouble locating it. The title is something like "Fifty Shades of Green". Have any of you bow hunters or military types run across this? I'm getting pretty desperate and Valentine's day is only four days from now. I'd be grateful if any of you can help get me a line on this. Thanks!

Ironbar · Feb 12, 2013

Two words: Powells Books.

AMT · Feb 12, 2013

Did she specifically say "camouflage"? Are you sure the book wasn't "50 Shades of Grey"? HUGE difference. :s0114:

FortunateSon · Feb 12, 2013

^^^^ THIS ^^^^

:s0112:

She could suddenly be into the outdoors and hunting, but camoflauge?

GET HER 50 SHADES OF GREY. YOU WON'T REGRET IT.

3MTA3 · Feb 12, 2013

Fifty Shades of Gray? Is that about Urban Camo??? I wonder what the heck she's thinking?

Mark W. · Feb 12, 2013

No 50 shades of grey is a womans soft po rn book.

Mark W. · Feb 12, 2013

camoflauge - AbeBooks

3MTA3 · Feb 12, 2013

Oh, man, this is embarrassing! It's even worse than the time I had toilet paper stuck to the bottom of my shoe at Walmart. Fortunately, I'd forgotten to pull up my pants, so nobody noticed

Looks like I gotta go to Jared's instead of Wholesale Sports tonight on my way home...

3MTA3 · Feb 12, 2013

Well, its a good thing I skipped Jared's on the way home. I wanted to make sure I had it straight, so the wife and I talked it over. When I asked her if she really wanted a dirty book, she got real excited, threw up her hands and said to just skip the book, and get her something real small with feathers from someplace called "Flyrods of Hollywood". I never heard of them before, but figure she must have seen a commercial on TV while I was at work. I figure maybe a nice sage VXP outfit with #3 line and some dry flys ought to do the trick. The best part (heh heh) is that she will probably lose interest after a couple of months and I will get to use it. This is going to be the BEST Valentine's Day EVER!!!

Angie · Feb 12, 2013

LMAO

<----bought myself 50 Shades and real all three books in 10 days.

3MTA3 · Feb 14, 2013

Well, the big day has arrived and I thought I'd give an update!

When I got home from work tonight the wife had set up some candles in the bedroom and was looking for a lighter. Funny thing is that she was wearing nightie and it must have been an old one because it was so thin I could see right through it. I'll have to get her a nice heavy new flannel one pretty soon. Anyway, I told her not to worry about the power going out and to put some clothes on before she got cold.

I started out by treating her to a nice romantic dinner at the Sizzler. I had a nice steak and she got the Malibu chicken. Since it was a special occasion we went whole hog and got the unlimited buffet. Man, oh, man Sizzler really had it dialed in tonight! I don't think I've ever made as many trips to the taco bar. Did you know that even though it's unlimited that they will cut you off after ten trips for your own safety? It's a fact. I don't think I've ever had such a good meal or eaten so much. I was so full I had to undo my belt and take a little nap before we left. When I woke up I saw that my wife was sitting at another table. Apparently she'd gotten a bit turned around on her way back from the ladies room and didn't see me.

I could hardly wait to get home to give her her new Sage fly rod! When she unwrapped it she got all emotional and started crying out of happiness. I gave her a big bear hug and she told me she didn't deserve this. I reassured her by telling her she was worth every dollar, and if she wanted I'd even rattlecan it pink for her. She got so emotional at that point that she could no longer control herself and started pounding my back with her hands and my chest with her head. I just held her tenderly while savoring the moment. The tears of joy started again and the emotional overload completely wore her out so she wound up going to bed early. The poor thing was so tired that she accidentally locked the door without realizing it. She does that sometimes, but I don't mind. I just stay up late and web surf looking for my next gun until she comes out to use the bathroom.

All in all an outstanding Valentine's Day! Not sure if I will be able to top this one next year, but I'm sure gunna try.

Almost forgot - I have a birthday coming up in a couple of months. Just before she went to bed my wife said that she was going to even things up by making me a "cuck" for my birthday! I'm not sure what that is, but I think it might be something for my bar-b-q. I can't wait!

3MTA3 · Aug 21, 2022

A few dangly bits where my book search got discussed elsewhere

Mikej said:
DOOD! I'm literally in tears now. Trying to read it out loud to the wife. I've been here since September 2011 and never read that. You cloud have killed me with that, falling out of my chair. A fu-new-gee laying that out in a firearms discussion forum.
Incredible.

As an update my wife gave her fly rod back to me as a birthday present (score!) and later when we went to dinner to celebrate we ran into her friend who goes by the name of Bull. She said they had spent all afternoon working on my cuck thing, but I never did get it, so maybe they forgot about it later. I probably should ask her about it, but it's been a real long time...

sobo said:
Tremendous!

Did she ever take that trip she was talking about to go see her mother? Has she come back home yet? Did you file a missing persons report with the cops?

She still goes to check on her and help her with things one week a month. Sometimes they even go on trips together like Las Vegas or Cancun. It's so awesome to see such a dedicated daughter I'm happy to pay for both of them!

Her mom and I have this cute game we play where she acts like she doesn't know about all the visits and trips. It's kind of like a running joke. She even calls sometimes when they are off at some resort or my wife is visiting her and asks to talk to my wife saying she must have her cell phone turned off. I just laugh and say she's probably just taking a shower in your room at Sandals or wherever they are at this time. She always just tells me to stop joking around and have her give her a call. What a riot that lady is!