God's plan for aging

[fredball]

God's plan for aging

Most seniors never get enough exercise.

In His Wisdom God decreed that seniors become forgetful so they would have to search for their glasses, keys and other things thus doing more walking. And God looked down and saw that it was good.

Then God saw there was another need. In His Wisdom He made seniors lose coordination so they would drop things requiring them to bend, reach & stretch. And God looked down and saw that it was good.

Then God considered the function of bladders and decided seniors would have additional calls of nature requiring more trips to the bathroom, thus providing more exercise. God looked down and saw that it was good.


So if you find as you age, you are getting up and down more, remember it's God's will. It is all in your best interest even though you mutter under your breath.

Nine Important Facts to Remember as You Grow Older

#9
Death is the number 1 killer in the world.

#8
Life is sexually transmitted.

#7
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

#6
Men have 2 motivations: hunger and hanky panky, and they can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.

#5
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.

#4
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.

#3
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

#2
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.

#1
Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today may be a burning issue tomorrow.

Read More

 

[ThemGunsThough]

Thanks for the read. Happy Monday!

 

[Joe13]

That's funny right there

 

[mrblond]

goes to say, Enjoy your life and have no worries.

 

[v0lcom13sn0w]

#6 for sure

 

[Joe13]

All men need at least the big 3 F's to be happy.

Food
Fighting
Fornicating

Notice how we all deal with the middle one in our own ways

 

[Medic!]

Argue for your limitations and they will be yours.

Me? I will stay as healthy and fit as possible.
I may die last. And after I burry all my loved ones. But I'll see to it there all well taken care of.

 

[Joe13]

Argue for your limitations and they will be yours.

Me? I will stay as healthy and fit as possible.
I may die last. And after I burry all my loved ones. But I'll see to it there all well taken care of.

Now that's what I've been telling my wife all along. I may be an almost 40 decrepit man right now but I fully intend on seeing 130.

Mean and full of grizzle so I figure I'll stick around awhile.

 

[Ura-Ki]

Best plan ever!

 

[Dungannon]

 

[Hawaiian]

I believe in getting even. I plan to live long enough to be a burden to my children.

 

[Sstrand]

Hawaiian
That might backfire. They're the ones who will select your nursing home!!!!

Sheldon

 

[Captain O]

I don't drink, smoke, use/abuse substances and look better than most other men my age. Loud "heavy metal" bores the heck out of me.

I've already outlived my entire family. All that I have left is enjoying my belongings and decent health. Nothing else really matters, does it?

(BTW, Fredball: If that's your picture, you really should shave and invest in some gluten-free kibble).

 

[Medic!]

Truth is most men give up in there thirties.
Then live a compromised life with all kinds of health issues until there 80.

I would rather be strong and healthy till the end. Or as close as possible.
There's nothing you can do about a car crash or certain cancers. But I won't just give up on staying healthy because there is effort required.

It's our choice if we decide to take the path of least resistance. Of put out the effort.
In the end the race is long. And it's with yourself.

Just don't cry about your weight problems and the fact that your pecker doesn't work any more!

 

[CoastRange57]

Just don't cry about your weight problems and the fact that your pecker doesn't work any more!

Speak for yourself homes. Right where I should be on the weight and the stick works works fine. 59 this Saturday.

 

[CoastRange57]

All men need at least the big 3 F's to be happy.

Food
Fighting
Fornicating

Notice how we all deal with the middle one in our own ways

Back in my younger days when it was habit to go to the tavern after work (every day) and have a beer or 30, there was this old (er) guy who came in too. Concrete contractor, and he hobbled in all stove up.

One day I asked him, How long he had been doing the manual labor with concrete..he said almost 30 years. I then asked him if he could still fish, f*** and golf ? I said you better be able to do at least 2 of those or it was time to jump off a cliff.

He though for a minute, said he could just fish fine, and would give the fing a go any time he could and golf sucked as far as he was concerned, and said he could whip my azz arm wrestling anytime. Which he could have. Old bird is still around, retired of course in his early 80's, knocking back a couple gin and tonics at the Elks Lodge every afternoon and looking to pinch a waitress when he can.

 

[ZigZagZeke]

When my maternal grandfather turned 80 the doctor told him he had to give up beer. Naturally, my grandfather objected to this arrangement rather strenuously. Eventually the doctor told him that he could have ONE bottle of beer a day, but only if he walked the 6 blocks to the package store to buy it every day. So every day my grandfather would shuffle off to the package store, where he would buy one QUART bottle of beer and then return to his rocker on the back porch where he would consume said beer.

 

[Ura-Ki]

My GrandFather always bragged about out living his doctors, and if any one of them told him he shouldn't be drinking at his age ( he passed at the ripe old age of 94) then he had no use for said doctor. Granddad had ONE glass of whisky each and every day, when I say glass, I am talking about a 16 oz glass!

 

[ZigZagZeke]

Thanks for the unique post. Hope you want to show how important is exercise for elders

My doctor asked me if I exercise regularly at age 68. I laughed and said, "I own a farm." I also have a 5 yo child and another one that's 2 yo. Exercise comes with the territory.