Dad jokes are not just for dads!

[64MercurysRule]

The problem isn't that obesity runs in your family . It's that no one runs in your family .

250 lbs here on Earth is 94.5 lbs on Mercury . No , I'm not fat . I'm just not on the right planet .

What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't care .

Most people are shocked when they find out how bad I am as an electrician .

I spent a lot of time , money and effort childproofing my house…... But the kids still get in .

 

[Flopsweat]

 

[Mike_M57]

My doctor told me, "I have bad news and good news."

I asked, "What's the bad news?"

He said, "I'm afraid you have ADHD."

"Oh, crap!", I said. "What's the good news?"

He said, "For just $9.95 a month, we can upgrade you to AD4K!"

 

[CamoDeafie]

Clicky to embiggen to read the dad joke

 

[Jim Horn]

View attachment 1883023
Clicky to embiggen to read the dad joke

Well, if it was a dogwood, you could tell by its bark.

 

[Flopsweat]

Well, if it was a dogwood, you could tell by its bark.

Tree puns again? I wooden do that...

 

[Richo877]

Tree puns again? I wooden do that...

For real, what we gonna go and do that fir?

 

[CamoDeafie]

puns have deep roots

 

[Flopsweat]

For real, what we gonna go and do that fir?

I never should have logged in...

 

[Richo877]

I never should have logged in...

::Then he leaves::

 

[CamoDeafie]

I never should have logged in...

Make like a tree and leave?

 

[Flopsweat]

Make like a tree and leave?

That was acorn-y one.

 

[Richo877]

That was acorn-y one.

I know. We really need to branch out

 

[Flopsweat]

I know. We really need to branch out

Or just keep lumbering along.

 

[solv3nt]

Make like a tree and leave?

View: https://youtu.be/gBlfqgmmS_Q?feature=shared

 

[CamoDeafie]

Y'all real sons of beeches aint ya

 

[Flopsweat]

Y'all real sons of beeches aint ya

I pine for the pun-free days.

 

[Richo877]

I'm trying to think of a good one, but I'm stumped.

 

[Flopsweat]

I'm trying to think of a good one, but I'm stumped.

You had it right there in the palm of your hand.

 

[Richo877]

You had it right there in the palm of your hand.

You're really reaching with that one