Random Humor Nearing Retirement

ZigZagZeke · Aug 2, 2012

As I'm fast approaching my retirement date I am purging old personal files. Here's one that's just too good to throw away. I wrote it one day when I was really, really frustrated at work:

I work as an application administrator in the network data operations department of a large corporation. I love my job. Its just like playing golf. There are just a few additional rules:

1. You are issued 3 official golf balls and a set of left handed clubs at the clubhouse before you start.
2. Your supervisor fills out your score card while remaining at the club house.
3. You get a golf cart and a caddy. Your caddy is authorized to drive the cart. For security reasons, you arent. The caddys authorization expires at random every few holes and you must walk back to the clubhouse and submit a written request to have it renewed, which your supervisor must sign.
4. In order to use the facilities efficiently you must play all 18 holes simultaneously. This means that you hit your first shots on holes 1 through 18, then go back and hit your second shots on holes 1 through 18. Since you only have 3 balls you must remember where each shot went.
5. There is a water hazard in front of every tee and surrounding every green. Once you have lost your 3rd ball you must return to the clubhouse and fill out a written request to be issued 3 more, which your supervisor must sign.
6. You are pre-authorized to use only your driver, 9 iron, and putter. If you wish to use any other club you must return to the clubhouse and submit a written a report to your supervisor detailing why you need to use a different club.
7. For security reasons, play may only occur at night, and the lights may be turned on only on the section of the course where you are playing.
8. Again, for security reasons the layout of the course is changed at random every 30 minutes without notice.
9. You may not search for balls that go into the rough because you are not an authorized rough user. Your caddy must do that for you, but for security reasons he is not allowed to watch where your shots go.
10. You must predict your own score and then beat it by 10 strokes in order to receive a cash bonus.

On second thought, I hate my job.