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funeral plans for Kalashnikov annouced

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Qaolin, Dec 25, 2013.

  1. Qaolin

    Qaolin 1 A.U. from a G2 near Beaverton Old Army Cook Silver Supporter

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    :laugh::laugh:




    Dead AK-47 Inventor To Be Buried In Mud For A Week, Cleaned Off, Then Put Back To Work
    By Courtney Massengale | December 24, 2013 99 Comments

    MOSCOW — Russia has announced funeral arrangements for Lt. Gen. Mikhail T. Kalashnikov, inventor of the AK-47 assault rifle.

    “Comrade Kalashnikov will be buried in a pit of mud with full military honors,” said General-Major Saiga Molot, a spokesman for the Russian army. “After a week, we will exhume his body, clean it off, and put him back to work. We expect that there shall be no issue with his functions.”

    Kalashnikov died of complications from a liver transplant operation. The liver Kalashnikov received was allegedly Romanian, but turned out to be a substandard Albanian version.

    “It was a successful substitution, but it made him inaccurate and prone to blockage,” said his son, Victor.

    While praised for his simple operation and ruggedness, Kalashnikov is also being remembered for his contributions to over 300 insurgencies, 524 known terrorist groups and at least 18 hostile regime changes.

    “We will always be grateful to General Kalashnikov for giving us the inspiration for Kevlar,” said DuPont President and CEO Ellen Kullman.

    An outpouring of support came from some unexpected areas, including Hollywood, which gave him a star on the walk of fame for his contribution to action films which “helped the audience identify the bad guys without further visual or audio cues” as well as the music industry.

    “You can rhyme about a MAC-10 or Uzi, but they know you’re serious when you start pulling out that AK,” said rapper Banana Clip. “Think of what rhymes with 47 – heaven, um… Devon? 7-11? Yeah.”

    Kalashnikov is survived by 21 major variants and 31 national operators in addition to several unknown and unidentified versions

    Read more: Dead AK-47 Inventor To Be Buried In Mud For A Week, Cleaned Off, Then Put Back To Work
     
  2. orygun

    orygun West Linn Bronze Supporter Bronze Supporter

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    Good read! RIP Mr. Kalashnikov
     
    1 person likes this.
  3. 3MTA3

    3MTA3 DMZ between Liberty and Tyranny Behind Enemy Lines Bronze Supporter

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    Looks like a 21 gun salute in 0.035 seconds...