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"Sometimes when I wipe... I'll wipe and I'll wipe and I'll wipe and l'll wipe a hundred times. Still poop, still poop. It's like I'm wiping a marker or something."
-Andy Dwyer (Chris Pratt) Parks and Rec

(If you are a fan of the Parks and Rec TV show, this outtake/blooper reel is hilarious. How Chris Pratt kept a straight face while delivering this line is beyond me!)
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View: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/Q2Ko78NEI9A
 
For those that might not know or ever seen an actual bidet and the different types.

I've installed a few of these throughout my career. I've never had a customer ask me to install a bidet seat though.

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That is good as anymore its getting hard to tell where humor and the real world split anymore. The tags on things like hair dryers telling you not to use it in the shower are a great example. First time I heard that one I was sure it was a joke till I actually saw one.
The UPC requires labeling on all plumbing fixtures that utilize gray water for flushing water closets and urinals.

The key here is it's labeled NON POTABLE
 
My sister has installed electrically heated bidets on bother toilets. Really fancy with remote control to you can very the spray and water temperature. It is nice sitting on heated toilet seat. But need have electric outlet installed for warmed seat and water heater.

https://www.deltafaucet.com/bathroom/product/893006E-WH.html
Sounds like a reason to spend a half-hour or so in there? Wink-wink.....If the wife isn't in there already?
 
Sounds like a reason to spend a half-hour or so in there? Wink-wink.....If the wife isn't in there already?
Now that does sound like it could be nice. Having one that shoots warm water would not be so cringe to me. Never seen one but have heard of some high end ones that wash with warm water then blow warm air to dry you. Some show made fun of them while back, think it was South Park?
 

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