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As you can guess, I have too much time on my hands, so I've been thinking: What would be my ideal apocalyptic event?
After 5 minutes or so of rumination I've determined that it would be as follows

Earth gets invaded by a malevolent alien race They devoured all the leftists who came out to hug them, with the aliens being driven to a feeding frenzy by the scent of tofu and lattes and now...they're now coming for the rest of us!


BUT...

1. They've done poor reconnaissance and didn't realize Earth's gravity is over twice what they're used to so they're incredibly slow.
2. They didn't realize that the UV light decomposes their weapons
3 They weren't aware that an atmosphere consisting primarily of nitrogen and oxygen makes them glow brightly day or night.
4. And most importantly--- they taste like prime rib


Discuss!
 
A-wall-made-of-buffalo-skulls-with-a-boy-posing-in-front-for-scale.-Saskatoon-Saskatchewan-189...jpg file-20200302-18279-p48l9c.jpg
Bison skulls
Passenger pigeons
 
Ya got it all wrong. Global warming causes a pandemic virus that kills off all men and ugly women. The women died off in order of how oogly they is and I dared to write the first one to go was named Gretta. The women what survived became even more beautifuller and and all of them had at least 6D cup sizes.

I fixed Global Warming by turning on air conditioners everywhere and opening all the doors to cool down the outside. I made sure that it was still hot enough that the women still wore teeny tiny bikinis.

Since I was the only man left AND I saved the planet and all the women made me their king and then we set about repopulating the earth.

The end.
 

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