What have you used as monumental motivation to achieve a goal?

[arakboss]

Here's the problem with motivation IMO... Motivation is an emotion. And like all emotions it will let you down eventually. You never want to have to rely on emotion for anything that is truly important.

DISCIPLINE is what gets the job done.

But discipline is something that is built over time. If you haven't built a strong foundation with it and then want to attempt something monumental, you're probably not going to be very successful.

Now with respect to getting healthy...and I don't know what you've done so far and where and how you've failed. But here are some things that I see happening over and over with people that causes them to fail.

Doing way too much all at once. Understand that any changes you are trying to make in this area are likely pretty big changes. Just trying to incorporate regular consistent exercise into your life is a HUGE adjustment for most people. But I often see people pile things on...they'll start going to the gym to lift weights, along with trying to do cardio several times a week, along with making big changes to their diet, etc. They do this all at once which, overall, leads to a massive amount of change overall. And they usually end up failing miserably.

Pick a single thing to focus on. And make it small and simple in the beginning and do it for 90 days. Maybe this is going for a 30 minute walk three or four times a week. Or maybe cutting out all processed foods from your diet. But the first steps you take should be small and achievable. You want to succeed at these first steps because it can greatly help with that motivation that you're having problems with. And it usually takes a good 60-90 days for something to become a habit. Sometimes longer. Once you've done this for 90 days, then pick the next small step to go after and add it in.

You also have to make sure you're picking things that you can live with for the rest of your life. If you decide to start running, for example, but you absolutely hate running, you will not be able to maintain this for the rest of your life. Or a moderate diet that you can stick to for the rest of your life is going to be better than an extreme diet that you get sick of after a month and quit. You have to find foods that you like. Because nobody has succeeded with eating foods that make them miserable.

"You also have to make sure you're picking things that you can live with for the rest of your life."

I 100% agree with this. Once I find the motivation to strive for my goal, I will need a plan to get there. If that plan involves doing or eating stuff I dislike, it will require greater motivation and discipline to achieve the goal. It's unfortunate that I dislike vegetables and exercise since those things are generally associated with people who live long and independently. I am sure there are other ways and I intend to find them.

 

[arakboss]

As for motivation examples, here are a few that I have heard about.

Some people want to get healthier so they can keep up with family and friends.

Some do it because they want to save money on medical expenses.

Some actually enjoy exercising and eating healthy foods.

Some do it to reduce the chances of becoming reliant on family to care for them or worse end up in a nursing home. (I am leaning towards this as my motivation).

Some do it to attract a mate or be more desirable to the ladies.

Some do it for the environment.

Some do it so they can perform better at there job or a sport they participate in.

Some do it just to feel better. Regarding this last one, I can tell you this one won't work for me. When I lost all that weight back in 2022, I felt miserable. My face looked like I was an albino Ethiopian. My body composition improved but it was not worth how miserable I felt and all the work it took to get there.

All four of my grandparents managed to pop off while still living independently.
My great grandmother on my mom's side spent a couple of years in a nursing home. It was very sad and she was miserable there. I don't want that for myself or my wife, so that could end up being the motivation I need. Maybe visiting some crappy nursing homes might reinforce the desire to stay out of one and boost my motivation to get healthier.

 

[FATAL125]

It's interesting you bring that up. One of my old bosses had a heart attack and had a quadruple bypass as a result. He started eating better and riding his bike. He even completed one of those multi day bike rides like Cycle Oregon. He slimmed down for awhile but then he got into smoking and barbecuing meats, next thing you know his huge gut was back and no more bicycling. He is still alive but probably due for another heart attack one of these days. Food is a very powerful attraction to many and even having a heart attack doesn't always break the attraction.

I can relate to this is it pertains to my father. He had his first heart attack at 42. Followed quickly by a triple bypass. Quit smoking and started waking along with a few other little things. He realized his own mortality and was "motivated" to make changes. Unfortunately, he lacked the "discipline" and mental strength required for maintaining his life changes. Took about two years and he was back to the same person he was prior to the first heart attack. The heart attacks (yes plural) that followed did nothing to change him though.

Bottom line, I believe motivation to be an inside job. If there isn't a big enough reason in your life to make whatever change your considering then the odds are it won't happen. I'm speaking in generalities here, not pointing fingers. For some there may be an outside human influence that pushes you to begin, but ultimately it's still up to you to continue.

I tend to agree with @L84Cabo that motivation is an emotion or feeling. Too often the by product of some sort of a fear response. Fear of your own death or that of a loved one. Fear of losing your job. Fear of whatever to push you to change. Of course motivation can come from a place of desire for reward too. Working hard to get a promotion or raise maybe.

At some point if the goal is REALLY something somebody wants they just have to commit. I never wanted to quit smoking, but once my kids started making comments about the smell on my clothes and how it was hard for them to be close to me, well that was all the motivation I needed and I quit cold turkey. One of the most difficult life style changes I've ever had to endure.

Last thing, cause this has gotten too long. Remember, there is more than one way to skin a cat. You wanting to lose weight doesn't mean you have to change everything about the way you eat now. Don't like veggies, then work it into your meat dishes. Things like stir frys and soups and stews. Things with plenty of flavor to mask the vegetable tastes. If walking is undesirable start swimming. Low impact and lots of full body exercise. There are always the marital "perks" that are great for burning calories too... .

 

[FATAL125]

Some do it to reduce the chances of becoming reliant on family to care for them or worse end up in a nursing home. (I am leaning towards this as my motivation).

The problem I see with this as a motivation is its still not a certainty that you won't be reliant on someone else as your caregiver. All it takes is bad car accident or something else that can happen to anyone of us at any point on any given day.

None of us have any idea what tomorrow brings and anyone of us could face a huge life change that is completely unrelated to our physical health.

 

[arakboss]

The problem I see with this as a motivation is its still not a certainty that you won't be reliant on someone else as your caregiver. All it takes is bad car accident or something else that can happen to anyone of us at any point on any given day.

None of us have any idea what tomorrow brings and anyone of us could face a huge life change that is completely unrelated to our physical health.

I have thought about that. It is another reason why the path I choose to reach my goal, needs to be enjoyable. It would suck to eat all my vegetables and workout everyday, for ten years, only to be taken out by an angry tri-met driver on my 63rd birthday. If the path I choose is enjoyable and I end up as a quadriplegic due to an accident it won't have been a terrible sacrifice that was for not.

Edit: A goal of living a long, healthy and independent life, would also have to include some risk mitigation. Rock climbing, visiting Portland, driving like a maniac, crossing 82nd at night dressed in all black, etc would be out.

 

[FATAL125]

Some do it just to feel better. Regarding this last one, I can tell you this one won't work for me. When I lost all that weight back in 2022, I felt miserable. My face looked like I was an albino Ethiopian. My body composition improved but it was not worth how miserable I felt and all the work it took to get there.

This can be a real kick in the junk when it come to motivation. I would wager that whatever you were doing to lose the weight wasn't correct for you as an individual. This is why the multitude of diets out there are a joke. There's no one size fits all diet. My wife wanted to try Keto years ago. It was garbage for her and fantastic for me. She needs a full spectrum diet to be her healthiest. Personally, I thrive on a carnivore diet. Although I do love my broccoli and cheese... num num num.

Anyhow, considering you can make almost everything "taste" good. Find what makes you feel the best after eating it. Get your food intake to an ideal point for you personally and then set your sights on the next step such as exercise. When your intake is optimized for your body you'll start dropping pounds from that alone. That in turn could give you the feel goods to be energized and motivated enough to get more physical.

Downside is it could mean different eating styles for you and your wife...

 

[FATAL125]

Rock climbing, visiting Portland, driving like a maniac, crossing 82nd at night dressed in all black, etc would be out.

I laughed out loud a little on this one and almost woke my wife up...

 

[FATAL125]

Setting and managing realistic goals is crucial too. You can shoot for the moon, but when the highest you reach is being flown by a drunk pilot on Spirit Airlines, that can be a real motivation killer.

 

[arakboss]

Setting and managing realistic goals is crucial too. You can shoot for the moon, but when the highest you reach is being flown by a drunk pilot on Spirit Airlines, that can be a real motivation killer.

I will shoot for the stars and settle for hitting the moon.

 

[arakboss]

Setting and managing realistic goals is crucial too. You can shoot for the moon, but when the highest you reach is being flown by a drunk pilot on Spirit Airlines, that can be a real motivation killer.

Close to half of these study participants were still living in their home independently. I am not sure how many of them started working towards that goal in their 50s but I figure I might have a 50/50 chance.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4185203/#:~:text=More%20than%20half%20of%20the,and%2013%25%20in%20nursing%20home.

These are the targets to work on:

those living at home were less likely to have dementia, anxiety disorder, or depression; to have had a transient ischemic attack; or to have been hospitalized or fallen the preceding year. They were also less likely to use a walker, wheelchair, or bath aid or to have a caregiver and were more likely to drive and to drink alcohol.

 

[arakboss]

Close to half of these study participants were still living in their home independently. I am not sure how many of them started working towards that goal in their 50s but I figure I might have a 50/50 chance.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4185203/#:~:text=More%20than%20half%20of%20the,and%2013%25%20in%20nursing%20home.

These are the targets to work on:

those living at home were less likely to have dementia, anxiety disorder, or depression; to have had a transient ischemic attack; or to have been hospitalized or fallen the preceding year. They were also less likely to use a walker, wheelchair, or bath aid or to have a caregiver and were more likely to drive and to drink alcohol.

Unfortunately my dad very recently had issues with transient ischemic attacks (mini strokes). Hopefully I don't get those.

 

[arakboss]

View: https://youtu.be/wqKfL3z5yM4?feature=shared

 

[Certaindeaf]

Look at your dick with a mirror to see if it's worth it.








Just kidding!

 

[jbett98]

A friend of mine used a hypnotist to quit smoking. The guy programmed him to feel like he was having a heart attack if he lit one up.
Worked like a charm.

 

[arakboss]

A friend of mine used a hypnotist to quit smoking. The guy programmed him to feel like he was having a heart attack if he lit one up.
Worked like a charm.

Is that for real or a joke?

 

[jbett98]

For real. He just couldn't kick the habit, even after trying for years.
The hypnotist set up a severe reaction to the process of lighting up the cigarette, which would prevent him from getting that first drag.
All smokers that I've known, go through a certain light them up routine when they get the urge to have a smoke.
Tamping the cig, or smelling the raw cig as you bring the lighter up and then take that first deep inhale.

He was camping with his 8 yr old son up on the Clackamas River one summer and when he went to dump their garbage in a metal trash can after dinner, he saw a new unopened pack of Marlboro's (his brand) laying on top of a paper bag.
After putting his kid to sleep, he went back to the garbage can and retrieved the pack of cigs
He went to light one up and that's when he had sudden and severe chest pains.
He immediately threw the pack into the campfire and never had the urge again.
Later on, he asked his hypnotist and the guy told him that was only way he could solidify the cure, since lesser suggestions didn't work, once he had the first drag.

 

[Cavedweller]

It's interesting you bring that up. One of my old bosses had a heart attack and had a quadruple bypass as a result. He started eating better and riding his bike. He even completed one of those multi day bike rides like Cycle Oregon. He slimmed down for awhile but then he got into smoking and barbecuing meats, next thing you know his huge gut was back and no more bicycling. He is still alive but probably due for another heart attack one of these days. Food is a very powerful attraction to many and even having a heart attack doesn't always break the attraction.

STEP 1. Don't use other people's failures as an excuse.

 

[arakboss]

STEP 1. Don't use other people's failures as an excuse.

I will let others use the having a heart attack route as motivation. I kinda of like my heart the way it is.

 

[Cavedweller]

I will let others use the having a heart attack route as motivation. I kinda of like my heart the way it is.

That's not what I meant, and I think you know it.

So, you like your heart, and you don't want to kill it. That's not enough motivation for you? What does it take?

 

[arakboss]

That's not what I meant, and I think you know it.

So, you like your heart, and you don't want to kill it. That's not enough motivation for you? What does it take?

What does it take?


This is the question I am trying to find an answer to.