Unwritten Rules of Boating/Fishing

[Caveman Jim]

No bubbleguming bananas

EXACTLY!!!! Cavemans biggest pet peeve for salmon/steelhead… Kokanee aren't really banana challenged..

OP, that list is why I do not fish on the weekends but on occasion I will if the SIL wants to go.

 

[RVTECH]

Make sure you have life vests for everyone on board.

I used to know a marine deputy for the Columbia River and he was always telling me funny on the job stories.

One he told me about how he saw some people in a big, spendy speed boat racing around and while not really doing anything wrong he decided to pull them over for a 'safety check'.

Well when he stopped them he told me he saw a couple guys with some 'well endowed' gals in bikinis on board and he discovered they were short one life vest.

Well, he told me one of the gals pulled up her top and asked , 'Officer, won't these do as a life preserver'?

To which he told me (to keep from laughing and staying 'professional') he thought quickly and said to her, 'I am sorry miss, those are NOT Coast Guard approved' !

He told me he he 'unfortunately' had to cite the owner for the violation of the short one life vest but that was a requirement they had to comply with.

 

[Xaevian]

Make sure you have life vests for everyone on board.

I used to know a marine deputy for the Columbia River and he was always telling me funny on the job stories.

One he told me about how he saw some people in a big, spendy speed boat racing around and while not really doing anything wrong he decided to pull them over for a 'safety check'.

Well when he stopped them he told me he saw a couple guys with some 'well endowed' gals in bikinis on board and he discovered they were short one life vest.

Well, he told me one of the gals pulled up her top and asked , 'Officer, won't these do as a life preserver'?

To which he told me (to keep from laughing and staying 'professional') he thought quickly and said to her, 'I am sorry miss, those are NOT Coast Guard approved' !

He told me he he 'unfortunately' had to cite the owner for the violation of the short one life vest but that was a requirement they had to comply with.

A better reply would be "no, ma'am, only natural breasts float."

 

[RVTECH]

A better reply would be "no, ma'am, only natural breasts float."

They might have been 'natural' !

 

[Caveman Jim]

I fish enough to know who's gonna be a problem at the ramp and I'll say this, people suck at laughing… They may launch a few times a year but they never really perfect the task, it's not rocket science folks…

 

[Caveman Jim]

They might have been 'natural' !

There's really only on way to find out…

 

[JohnnyMac]

When I lived in Juneau, if you hit Auke Bay at the wrong time you were phucked... One of the local freight guys would push his 80' bow dropper into the first slot of the ramp and proceed to spend the next couple hours loading chit to drop off at all the regional villages. Then the second slot of the ramp would be plugged full of tourists getting ready for their "once in a lifetime" kayak trip. The idiot kids that ran the show would drop all the kayaks onto the ramp and then take an hour to have the safety brief, show 90% of them which strap goes where on their life jackets and how a paddle works. I got to where I'd go down the night before to launch and just leave the boat at the transient dock overnight for $15. It was absolutely worth not having that frustration.

A couple rules that I might add are:
1: Make sure the folks you take out know ahead of time that just because they might not have a problem keeping oversized/undersized/non-fin clipped/out of season fish/etc. fish....they aren't the ones that would be risking their boats, gear, a big fine or loss of fishing license.
2: The Capt. is in charge.
3: It is polite to offer/bring lunch for the Capt. and pay for some fuel. I generally figure I'd be fishing anyway so no need for fuel money but it's nice to offer and bringing lunch/snacks is the least you can do.
4: As stated before....NO DAMN BANANAS!

 

[Pete F]

The best way to back a trailer is to only use your mirrors. Turning the wheel becomes natural.

 

[RVTECH]

The best way to back a trailer is to only use your mirrors. Turning the wheel becomes natural.

Or mount a hitch on the front of your tow vehicle and take 5 minutes to flip it around before backing your boat down the ramp.

 

[sobo]

Deleted due to Quote function phuq-up.
Corrected post below...

 

[sobo]

A better reply would be "no, ma'am, only natural breasts float."

They might have been 'natural' !

There's really only on way to find out…

 

[fstdraw]

We've jet boated for several years now, 20 plus. We are never more than 3 minutes getting off the water and off the dock/ramp. If only all the other assorted water craft were as efficient.

 

[Flymph]

If you're going to post up next to somebody, do it two cast lengths away.
If you'd like to follow somebody down a run, ask them first.
Cut clear headings, don't be the guy with no clue as to everyone elses' heading.
Always return to port with a quarter tank of fuel.
Respect wake zones.

 

[Caveman Jim]

Yes, this is on my boat and the deal sealer when bought…

Oh, you brought a banana aboard the FV: Bloody Deck? One of you is going swimming, I'll let you decide whom it's gonna be….

 

[Zechariah]

If you come to the dock with a chip on your shoulder don't drop it on me cause I'll drop kick your bubblegum. Some people don't take bubblegum or have time for games when they want to have fun so if you pipe up be sure you can back it up.

 

[bbbass]

Lost all the quotes I had:

However, Dad used to be opinionated about most everything, and considered himself an expert on same, but esp on boat launching/recovering. One time when I was visiting we had walked down to the beach near the boat ramp in St. Petersburg/Tampa Bay/Tarpon Springs FL. Dad heard a man arguing/yelling/screaming in rage at his wife as she tried to back the trailer to where he wanted it and the man tried to power the 26' or so boat onto the trailer. Soooooooo, Dad goes over and doesn't offer to help, or ask if he can help, he just starts giving directions.... I left as quickly as I could; they didn't have cellphones to call 911 then!

When Dad had his 28' diesel in San Diego, I was still in my seasick phase of ocean going... no amount of meds made it better, in fact just taking the med made me sick. Was struggling one time, then Brobro lit up a nasty Garcia y Vega cigar and blew the smoke at me. Spent the rest of the trip either over the rail or off the bow when anchored. Dad had a policy of never going back for seasick. I had never wished to die, even after getting burned over 30% of my body, but that day I wished for it greatly!!! (The bozz in Brookings got me started on having a beer and some soda crackers to fight or stave off seasick.... I was very skeptical but it worked GREAT!!!!!)

Please, no cigars on board. If I'm captain, you won't be doin that!!! One time I snagged a ride on a jet boat below the Hells Canyon dam. We got going and the guy brought out a bottle of Jack, started chugging, and then lit up a blunt... the wife was not pleased with me... no more boathiking.

What's with the banana thing? Never heard of it...

Oh, one more:

When waiting for your turn to recover, please don't stack up at the launch area... it clogs up the works. A boat or two there is fine, if you get out of the way of those launching/leaving, but not a whole bunch. Wait a bit further out, you can move up as space becomes available.

Funny how OP was mostly about the boat ramp... I LOVED going to the Brookings harbor when I lived there. Boat people, esp newbies and wives, can be entertaining idiots if you are not there to launch/retrieve your own boat.

 

[PORSCHE928S4]

#1 Use weighted crab line
#2 If you are crabbing in 20ft of water you probably do not need 200ft of floating line (lol)
#3 For the love of Peete don't put all of floating lines and traps in the channel
#4 Don't put you trap right on top of someone else's give them some room so everyone's trap can fish properly !

 

[Caveman Jim]

The Banana thing is from centuries ago with trading ships and they didn't like a hull full of bananas because the bunches of bananas had tarantulas…

 

[bbbass]

The Banana thing is from centuries ago with trading ships and they didn't like a hull full of bananas because the bunches for bananas had tarantulas…

Daylight come, and I wan go home!!!

 

[SrMachoSolo]

Unwritten rule:

Don't out fish the captain.

My friend always got really upset with me whenever I was ahead lol...

At one point, I said I was tired of reelin' em in and was going to catch a buzz instead. I just threw my line over board, no cast, went to take a sip of beer and... fish on!

My friend complained about that the rest of the trip. "Oh look at me, I'm Robert, I'm not even going to cast." He mocked, as he attempted to do the same... but no dice for him.

-Robert