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Those are really two separate questions that likely have nothing to do with each other.Am I a dick? Am I being selfish for saying I don't wanna go?
You, however, are NOT a dick for not going. Stand your ground on that. Too much of life is spent saying, "yes" to crap that you don't want to do. Especially family crap.
And don't get me wrong. Family is important and you should support reasonable family events with the CLOSE family that is important to you when it is feasible and reasonable. Spending $3K on a wedding trip for someone who is not in your immediate life is a pretty big ask. And especially in these very expensive times, regardless of your financial sitch.
Send your regrets and let them know you won't be able to make it. If you really feel guilty...you shouldn't....but send them $100 Home Depot gift card or something off their registry.