Who the hell thought this was a good idea!

[Stomper]

I wasn't always a Caveman..... Back when I was young & dumb (Like most young men are at some point in their youth) I was quite the suave and savvy dude.... Its just when I got older that I wanted to reverse my habitat location and social interactions.... meaning I love my dogs more than most humans....

When I was a young buck (and "suave"), my grandma always commented how handsome I was and that I must have to use a stick to keep the women back.


I always answered, "they sure act like I do".



Now I'm firmly ensconced in middle-agedness and suave...

 

[308]

Conservative women who shoot guns don't watch that trash. Actually, strangely enough, my (future wife) said she wanted to watch TV together and I told her to put on whatever she wanted, she chose "secret nazi weapons of WWII" on Netflix, in pretty sure I picked well

True. My wife was pestering me yesterday about finishing up in the garage so we could watch the last race in the Lucas Oil pro motocross series.

 

[clearconscience]

I actually keep the thought in my mind that divorce is probable.
It makes me think about what I want and why I want it. Then I can look at the things that I get frustrated about or mad about and if it's really worth it.
We don't drink hardly at all, and there's no real drama in our lives other than work and the kids.
So that helps a lot.
My wife supports me going fishing, humting, and shooting.
And I usually don't do it because I hate choosing something over spending time with my kids.
My dad left us when I was young and that's always in the back of my mind. To never let my kids know what that feels like.

Marriage can be easy or hard. You get to choose.

 

[JRuby]

I have been married 32 years and yes we have a few heated discussions however ii would not have it any other way. I want a whole person as my mate who has their own thoughts
When the day is done a win for one of us is a win for both of us. We also know and realize that we are not doing it alone. Marriage is a team sport. We are there when things aren't great and the good times are easy.

I am a lucky man.

 

[mkwerx]

Could not make it thru 5 pages...

BTDT on marriage, divorce, and on marriage #2. First was 4.5 years I will never get back. Aged me badly and ruined my early to m8d 20s. Learned some lessons and dodged a couple bullets.

#2 has been far better. We hit the dime mark in June. Sometimes I look back and wonder where the time went as it doesn't seem so long. Huge difference being with the right partner makes. We have had our moments, but never had an argument that got to the point of one of us leaving. Talking is the norm and in over a decade together I can count on one hand the times we have yelled at one another.

First wife was the material one. Number two - I custom ordered a ring for her I knew she would love. My girl likes emeralds so I bought a $200 three stone emerald ring on an 18kt band. Then I bought a diamond solitare with a stone a bit larger than the center stone in the emerald. $500. For $50 the jeweler switched stones and put the diamond in the middle of the emeralds and made an emerald solitaire. $750 otd for two rings I knew she would cherish. Proposed on Thanksgiving Day. Gave her the emerald ring for Christmas. Bonus lovin for shiney object in her stocking that year

That whole BS of spending a months pay on a ring is retarded AF. Its BS pushed by retailers to get you to spend money foolishly.

Don't fall into a trap of overspending for a relatively useless hunk of mineral and ore. My wifes engagement ring hardly gets worn anymore after replacing two stones because of damage at work. I told her if she lost another stone because of snagging it at work its not getting replaced (a bluff but it worked) so she picked up a costume piece thats similar.

The right gal wont be offended by not blowing thousands on a ring. Those who demand XXXX dollars for a rock should cause a moment to pause. Also - check pawn shops, estate sales, and of course craigslist. Broken dreams equal big savings. I sold my first wife's wedding rings for lunch money. Not kidding. There may be some pissed off heart broken dude who will trade you a ring for a cheeseburger & fries. Just gotta look!

 

[L84Cabo]

Come on in son, sit down, and allow me to tell you a little story. It goes like this...

Me: So...um...honey...what are you thinking about for an engagement ring?

Her: *without hesitation* Round stone, antique platinum setting. And I'd like it to be bigger than my last one (she was married before)

Me: *thinking to myself: I just know this is going to be expensive*. Um...how big was your last one?

Her: 1 Carat

Me: *thinking to myself: crap!* Ok, so you're thinking like 1.2 carat?

Her: Noooo. 2 Carat.

Me: *after I pick myself up off the floor* Um...and how much do you think a ring like this would cost?

Her: *Without even blinking or hesitating* $20,000.

We men, are idiots. There is no other way to explain it. We don't understand why a hunk of metal and a stone are so important to women but we know they lose their minds over it. And we're as dumb as they come when we're in love and just trying to make our girl happy.

As it turns out, we had a very good friend who owns a diamond store who hooked us up at her cost. She made no money on us and we saved a boatload on a custom designed ring. When it came time to pay, our friend asked us how we wanted to handle the sales tax...quite substantial on a purchase like this. She explained that if she was able to send the ring out of state, we would not have to pay the sales tax. We could ship it to a family member in another state, we could ship it to a UPS facility across the state line and go pick it up, or some people like to ship it to Vegas and go make a weekend of it.

Even though we got a hell of a deal it was still WAY over what I thought was reasonable for an engagement ring. But like I said, I'm an idiot. On top of this we were staring at a boatload of expenses for the wedding, honeymoon, debt she had that needed to be paid off, and some other things. So when I heard we could save on the tax, I'm thinking, "awesome cause there's a lot of other expenses so we'll ship it to family and then have them send it back."

My beautiful bride had other ideas. She heard the Vegas option and since she loved to travel and never met a $$ that she didn't want to spend, that was her vote. And when I say that it was her vote, I mean that VEGAS is what she expected...damn near demanded. The fight that ensued was enormous and I damn near called off the engagement then and there. And I absolutely should have. Because it was only delaying the inevitable. We did not go to Vegas. We made it another year and a half but this type of behavior only got worse. The good news is I came to my senses BEFORE ever getting married. The ring got sold without a loss but you can bet she tried to keep it. She said that because I was the one essentially calling things off, she was entitled to keep it. I told her, "no way in hell," and pointed out several key areas that she lied about (she did), misrepresenting herself, which voids any contract, and that I would pursue this all the way to court if need be.

I encourage you to learn from my mistakes. Pay close attention to how she handles the engagement ring thing because it is a really good indication of the type of person you are marrying. Choose wisely. Choose very VERY wisely.

As for me, I've been ruined for life on this. If I ever do ask another girl to marry me, it will be one who insists on a simple band and a justice of the peace type wedding. The whole engagement ring thing is absolutely insane. And you know who came up with the whole "2 months salary" thing, don't you? DeBeers...that's right, the diamond people. What do you think their motivation on this could possibly be?

Good luck man!

 

[L84Cabo]

Lol that's a good idea but facts are once you give her that ring she doesn't have to give it back check out the pawn shops are full of deleted engagement 's lol

This isn't always true. The courts are actually pretty mixed on this and much depends on the circumstances. Most courts, however, very much view the ring as part of a contract and if the wedding doesn't happen, the contract is null and void. Much can depend, however, on who breaks off the wedding and the circumstances. To this end, Courts are pretty much in unison that if the woman breaks off the engagement, the ring goes back. The ring was given in exchange for marriage and if she doesn't go through with it, the contract is unfulfilled and the ring goes back.

As I said, circumstances are also key. If it can be shown, for example, that the woman lied or misrepresented herself, the "contract" can be deemed null and void and the ring goes back. Similarly if, say, the guy cheats, odds are in favor of the woman keeping the ring. But there are no guarantees in any of this.

And this is all just my experience...based on conversations I had with my attorney over this very issue. But different courts in different states can certainly look at things differently.

 

[slimmer13]

I bought my wife a perfectly great (for my middle class butt) $2500 ring. Turns out a girl at her work had the exact same one (can't have that). We went in together to pick out a new one and walked out with a $7k ring.

Wierd

 

[Gaucho Gringo]

IN the early 80's a CZ was LARGE, GAWDY and very noticeable as a fake diamond.
I guess during the last 30 years they have perfected forgery....
Our 34 year anniversary is tomorrow...

Congratulations, me and my better half celebrated our 34th two months ago.

 

[American123]

Come on in son, sit down, and allow me to tell you a little story. It goes like this...

Me: So...um...honey...what are you thinking about for an engagement ring?

Her: *without hesitation* Round stone, antique platinum setting. And I'd like it to be bigger than my last one (she was married before)

Me: *thinking to myself: I just know this is going to be expensive*. Um...how big was your last one?

Her: 1 Carat

Me: *thinking to myself: crap!* Ok, so you're thinking like 1.2 carat?

Her: Noooo. 2 Carat.

Me: *after I pick myself up off the floor* Um...and how much do you think a ring like this would cost?

Her: *Without even blinking or hesitating* $20,000.

We men, are idiots. There is no other way to explain it. We don't understand why a hunk of metal and a stone are so important to women but we know they lose their minds over it. And we're as dumb as they come when we're in love and just trying to make our girl happy.

As it turns out, we had a very good friend who owns a diamond store who hooked us up at her cost. She made no money on us and we saved a boatload on a custom designed ring. When it came time to pay, our friend asked us how we wanted to handle the sales tax...quite substantial on a purchase like this. She explained that if she was able to send the ring out of state, we would not have to pay the sales tax. We could ship it to a family member in another state, we could ship it to a UPS facility across the state line and go pick it up, or some people like to ship it to Vegas and go make a weekend of it.

Even though we got a hell of a deal it was still WAY over what I thought was reasonable for an engagement ring. But like I said, I'm an idiot. On top of this we were staring at a boatload of expenses for the wedding, honeymoon, debt she had that needed to be paid off, and some other things. So when I heard we could save on the tax, I'm thinking, "awesome cause there's a lot of other expenses so we'll ship it to family and then have them send it back."

My beautiful bride had other ideas. She heard the Vegas option and since she loved to travel and never met a $$ that she didn't want to spend, that was her vote. And when I say that it was her vote, I mean that VEGAS is what she expected...damn near demanded. The fight that ensued was enormous and I damn near called off the engagement then and there. And I absolutely should have. Because it was only delaying the inevitable. We did not go to Vegas. We made it another year and a half but this type of behavior only got worse. The good news is I came to my senses BEFORE ever getting married. The ring got sold without a loss but you can bet she tried to keep it. She said that because I was the one essentially calling things off, she was entitled to keep it. I told her, "no way in hell," and pointed out several key areas that she lied about (she did), misrepresenting herself, which voids any contract, and that I would pursue this all the way to court if need be.

I encourage you to learn from my mistakes. Pay close attention to how she handles the engagement ring thing because it is a really good indication of the type of person you are marrying. Choose wisely. Choose very VERY wisely.

As for me, I've been ruined for life on this. If I ever do ask another girl to marry me, it will be one who insists on a simple band and a justice of the peace type wedding. The whole engagement ring thing is absolutely insane. And you know who came up with the whole "2 months salary" thing, don't you? DeBeers...that's right, the diamond people. What do you think their motivation on this could possibly be?

Good luck man!

Your story sounds like my first marriage,

My girlfriend (future wife), when I approached the topic of ring cost on my modest teacher income she mentioned getting moissanite instead because it didn't have to be a diamond. Fraction of the cost, I love her lol....

 

[American123]

This isn't always true. The courts are actually pretty mixed on this and much depends on the circumstances. Most courts, however, very much view the ring as part of a contract and if the wedding doesn't happen, the contract is null and void. Much can depend, however, on who breaks off the wedding and the circumstances. To this end, Courts are pretty much in unison that if the woman breaks off the engagement, the ring goes back. The ring was given in exchange for marriage and if she doesn't go through with it, the contract is unfulfilled and the ring goes back.

As I said, circumstances are also key. If it can be shown, for example, that the woman lied or misrepresented herself, the "contract" can be deemed null and void and the ring goes back. Similarly if, say, the guy cheats, odds are in favor of the woman keeping the ring. But there are no guarantees in any of this.

And this is all just my experience...based on conversations I had with my attorney over this very issue. But different courts in different states can certainly look at things differently.

It's funny, when I got divorced with my first wife, When we were splitting possessions, I told her she could take anything in the house she wanted if she signed the divorce papers without issue, whatever it cost me to get rid of her was SOOOOOOOO worth it compared to a life staying with her. In fact, being married to her was far more expensive than divorcing her because I basically let her have any trinkets she wanted. (Apart from my car, guns, etc)

 

[CoastRange57]

My first marriage ended in 7 years. Cost me a fortune. I paid half my salary in child support for almost 18 years. She kept all that stuff and got some more from my mom later on. IT WAS WORTH EVERY FING DIME !!!!!

In my second marriage now for 28 years. Never gave this wife an engagement ring because we needed every dime to live on. Offered to several times. She refused each time. We bought some wedding rings when we got married, and they were cheap and both broke after about 10 years and we went with out for about 5 years. Then she saw some camo rings on EBay for $ 69 each and ordered those for us we have had those about 4 years now. People comment on them all the time.

My dear wife realizes the stupidity in spending money on jewelry and diamonds, and prefers function to form on most things. She says if we spent money on that stuff, we would not be checking off bucket list things right now. This is a woman who has not spent $ 100 on makeup in 28 years, and usually has to throw it out since the one of the kids got married 3 years ago and that is the only time she wore it.

 

[CoastRange57]

whatever it cost me to get rid of her was SOOOOOOOO worth it compared to a life staying with her.

IT WAS WORTH EVERY FING DIME !!!!!

Are we seeing a trend here ??

 

[BlindedByScience]

When wife version 2.0 and I got married, we were poor as churchmice, so very inexpensive gold bands were all we could afford.

After 23 years through thick and thin....she got something she really wanted. Seems logical to me. She's a good one; I don't ask permission to buy guns or cigars or any of my other pastimes. As long as the bills are paid and the house is taken care of, I can pretty much do what I want. Works for us.

 

[mkwerx]

Some of you ol' coots got lucky Not sueprising though that a lot of us have ridden the D Train. Shudda listened to my family that said I was st000pid for wanting to marry the first one. 20 years old - young dumb and full of... but so was the wife, cuz she was riding every dude in the tri-county area that would have her. To boot she had untreated psycological issues that manifested in violence. The night I had her arrested for DV should - IF I had had two firing brain cells at the time - should have been the end for us. But I rode that crazy train another year and a half almost. Split when I caught her cheating. Almost did the D. Took her back after her promising to be faithful. Then she caught a DV conviction for slapping her then 9 year old daughter in the face causing her to scream and cry loud enough for the WCSO deputy serving papers on our neighbor to hear... And while conducting her court ordered community service she met some "recovering" meth addict and took off to Eugene with him taking the cash out of our bank account with her causing me to sell a rifle I never got a chance to fire to pay my damned rent. I went the next day and filed for divorce.

Moral of the story - don't rush to marriage. Make sure you reeeeeally know her. Do yer damnest to uncover lurking crazy or skeletons. If you can live with it - shes the one. If not run Forrest, run!

As for my second wife - she was a friend back in my high school days that I reconnected with randomly after ditching the ex. She has her own brand of crazy but its manageable and minor. But all women are crazy. Just a matter of degree.

Oh - don't buy a stainless steel wedding band either - gold cuts easy. I have had to cut my wedding ring off and have it fixed once, as I have had to cut off my wife's too. Soft metal rings good - $#!7 that requires a saw or grinder to remove - not so good!

 

[jsparks747]

Yet on Neptune and Uranus it literally rains diamonds.

 

[American123]

Are we seeing a trend here ??

Yeah, guys not putting enough thought into the first marriage woman lol

 

[American123]

Some of you ol' coots got lucky Not sueprising though that a lot of us have ridden the D Train. Shudda listened to my family that said I was st000pid for wanting to marry the first one. 20 years old - young dumb and full of... but so was the wife, cuz she was riding every dude in the tri-county area that would have her. To boot she had untreated psycological issues that manifested in violence. The night I had her arrested for DV should - IF I had had two firing brain cells at the time - should have been the end for us. But I rode that crazy train another year and a half almost. Split when I caught her cheating. Almost did the D. Took her back after her promising to be faithful. Then she caught a DV conviction for slapping her then 9 year old daughter in the face causing her to scream and cry loud enough for the WCSO deputy serving papers on our neighbor to hear... And while conducting her court ordered community service she met some "recovering" meth addict and took off to Eugene with him taking the cash out of our bank account with her causing me to sell a rifle I never got a chance to fire to pay my damned rent. I went the next day and filed for divorce.

Moral of the story - don't rush to marriage. Make sure you reeeeeally know her. Do yer damnest to uncover lurking crazy or skeletons. If you can live with it - shes the one. If not run Forrest, run!

As for my second wife - she was a friend back in my high school days that I reconnected with randomly after ditching the ex. She has her own brand of crazy but its manageable and minor. But all women are crazy. Just a matter of degree.

Oh - don't buy a stainless steel wedding band either - gold cuts easy. I have had to cut my wedding ring off and have it fixed once, as I have had to cut off my wife's too. Soft metal rings good - $#!7 that requires a saw or grinder to remove - not so good!

Sex is a powerful drug that has blinded men for ages.

 

[CoastRange57]

Sex is a powerful drug that has blinded men for ages.

True. I did tell my boys years ago that no matter how good the pounding is and no matter if she could s start a Harley, at some point in time you have to have a conversation with her. But one of my boys is 33 and seems to have a new girlfriend about every 3 months.

 

[American123]

True. I did tell my boys years ago that no matter how good the pounding is and no matter if she could s start a Harley, at some point in time you have to have a conversation with her. But one of my boys is 33 and seems to have a new girlfriend about every 3 months.

Apparently it takes him 3 months of pounding before he has to have a conversation with her lol