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"Floating around the Internet these days, posted and e-mailed back and forth, are a number of writings attributed to me, and I want people to know they're not mine. Don't blame me. [...] Here's a rule of thumb, folks: Nothing you see on the Internet is mine unless it came from one of my albums, books, HBO shows, or appeared on my website. [from his official website, in response to the massive number of jokes and rants on the internet that are falsely attributed to him.]"
 
Wow seven years dead already! Time flies!
Don't play this loud around the kiddies.

Carlin liked to goof on everybody. He made fun of "gun enthusiasts" and the NRAs "Wayne LaPierre. Mostly how his name sounded.

Anti-Gun?? Maybe there is something out there I haven't heard. What have you "Dug Up"?:eek:

Get it? Dug Up, him being dead and all:D
 
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When I was about 22-23 My younger brother and I got tickets to see Carlin in Portland. We had pretty good seats. He came out and 20 min into the routine was still doing crap I had heard on Albums when I was in the 7th grade.

So in a loud commanding voice during a slightly quiet time in the routine I asked "Are you going to do anything new or should I just listen to the cassette from grade school and save my money?" He said something like **** You and we stood up and walked out. When we got to the door and the side walk we turned around and there were close to 75 people following us out the door.

Never been much of a fan since. And obviously a few other people in the room shared my opinion.
 
INTERVIEWER (SAM MERRIL): Earlier, you referred to the U.S. Constitution as "inspiring." Do you endorse all of it - even the right to bear arms?

CARLIN: I have mixed feelings about that. I plan to get a gun if crime gets any worse. I believe my first duty is to survive. And I'm not just talking about criminals coming into my home. I once seriously considered getting a gun to protect myself from the police. If I need a weapon to continue living, I'll get one. And I'll use it.

INTERVIEWER: But if violence in our society --

CARLIN: Look, I'm going to interrupt you: There are two ways to think about this existence we have. One of them is that it's Wednesday and it's three fifteen and we're talking here in my home, and at four o'clock I have to leave for another meeting. Now, that's a reality. But there's another reality. We're in the solar system of a second-rate star, three quarters of the way out on a spiral arm of an average galaxy in a thing called the Local Group. And ours is only one of billions of galaxies, each of which has billions of stars. Some star systems are binary, and there could be a planet that revolves around a center of gravity between two binary stars. So you'd have two sunrises and two sunsets every day. One could be a red giant, the other a white dwarf; two different-sized, -shaped, and -colored suns in the sky. And there might be other planets and comets. In other words, bubblegum Wednesday, bubblegum three fifteen, bubblegum four o'clock, bubblegum the United States, bubblegum the earth. It's all temporal bullbubblegum. I like thinking about being out there and not thinking about the corporate structure, not worrying about freedom, and not worrying about guns. I chose a life of ideas. That entertains me. That nourishes me. And that's why I run from this conversation.
 
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