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Washington State Announces New Shooting Regulations (retread)

Discussion in 'General Firearm Discussion' started by fishkisser101, Apr 1, 2014.

  1. fishkisser101

    fishkisser101 Orcas Island Member

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    Washington State Announces New Shooting Regulations

    [AP]—As part of the effort to streamline Washington State firearms legislation and ensure compatibility with Federal Homeland Security provisions, municipal, county, and state lawmakers and law enforcement agencies have adopted stringent new firearms shooting rules statewide.

    Previously, shooting was allowed in National Forest, county, BLM, and privately-owned land, within commonsense guidelines. Under new rules, the discharge of a firearm is prohibited in any outdoor area and any above-ground indoor area, effectively relegating public shooting to the basement.

    Reasonable proponents of the new regulations claim the revenue lost in firearm and ammunition sales will be more than offset by increased outdoor recreation fees, which are scheduled to triple as of June, 2013.

    “I just think this is the best way to prevent terrorism in Washington,” said Nancy P. Plumraker of Monroe, WA. “We don’t need to be ducking bullets from a bunch of AK-wielding weirdoes in the woods.”

    Lackadaisical enforcement of previously-existing regulations and the proliferation of informal shooting areas may have played a part in convincing officials to adopt the most stringent regulations proposed by the state’s Firearms and Ammo Regulation Team (F.A.R.T.).

    “First, you got to realize many state residents aren’t excited to find end-of-the-road turnouts and gravel quarries full of shot-up televisions and fragments of clay pigeons. Most city folk want to drive to the end of the road, find Bambi next to a waterfall and butterflies dipping in and out of a rainbow,” noted John D. Pickledocker of Bellevue, a prominent shotshell hull collector. “It’s tragic that we’ll be losing the beauty of a trashed outdoor range statewide, but so it goes.”

    Other opponents of the new regulations were less understanding. “This is an outrage! How am I supposed to stay in business?” shouted Lee R. Grunter, owner of Crasscade Range and Lounge in a telephone interview. “What—am I supposed to convert my range to spitballs only? Never thought I’d see the day when Washington became more restrictive than California!”

    Options do remain for range owners and developers with deep pockets, however. WalMort, for example, recently announced plans to install a 1.5-mile long underground long-rifle range beneath its planned Arlington location.

    “Let’s just say this isn’t the end of shooting in Washington,” said WalMort representative Montee R. Grabby in an interview via Skype.

    “Seriously, though, the message here is clear if you’re willing to simply disregard everything except the first letter of every paragraph.”
     
    ikemay, cgrapego, erudne and 5 others like this.
  2. NWGlockgal

    NWGlockgal Oregon Well-Known Member

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    Lol.....happy April Fools to you too!
     
    JohnnyD likes this.
  3. 808hondacrguy

    808hondacrguy Eugene,OR Bronze Supporter Bronze Supporter

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    LOL...........he said F.A.R.T. :)
     
  4. Hamundr

    Hamundr Portland, OR Member

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    You had me till i saw F.A.R.T. Haha
     
  5. WheatNuts

    WheatNuts Camas, WA Active Member

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    Damn, you got me good you bastard. I was pissed until I got to FART.
     
    Jablunty likes this.
  6. GunRightsCoalition

    GunRightsCoalition Vancouver Well-Known Member 2015 Volunteer 2016 Volunteer

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    I made it to the second paragraph before I realized it was Satire.
     
  7. Hawaiian

    Hawaiian Tigard Oregon Well-Known Member

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    Good one. You got me. I was reading it and going WTF.....
     
  8. erudne

    erudne The Pie Matrix PPL Say Sleeping W/Your Rifle Is A bad Thing? Bronze Supporter

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    I was ready to lock and load for about 5 seconds
     
  9. LyleLovett666

    LyleLovett666 Seattle Active Member

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    Well played.
     
  10. mosinguy1

    mosinguy1 out by the ocean Active Member

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    F.A.R.T gave it awaybut it was worth it!!!!!! Thanks I needed the laugh.
     
  11. mosinguy1

    mosinguy1 out by the ocean Active Member

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    F.A.R.T gave it awaybut it was worth it!!!!!! Thanks I needed the laugh.
     
  12. Fast Eddie

    Fast Eddie Vancouver Well-Known Member

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    Lol, got my blood boiling for a second there.