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In the spirit of following along with today’s herd of sheep mentality here in the United Socialist Republic of America, I hereby propose that the following legislation be enacted as soon as possible. (it’s going to happen some year, might as well get it over with)

The following items, in whole or in parts, due to either their origination by or development by the military and/or having at least one similarity to a military use, shall henceforth be banned from private possession, use, sale or trade. Only duly appointed members of the Armed Forces and Police personal who will be responsible for controlling the civilian population may ever touch any of the below items. Civilian personnel who currently own or possess these items will be allowed to keep or use such items until such time as the item or the person no longer functions. All civilians who currently have such items must register with their local politburo.

GPS units (reception or transmission)
Airplanes (aero plane, gyro prop, etc.)
EpiPens
Cargo pants
Duct tape
All vehicles made by or for the Jeep division (whether it be Willys, Jeep, Ford, Chrysler, Daimler, etc)
Hummer vehicles (either HMMWV, Hummer, H2, H3 or any variation)
Knives (KBar, Swiss Army, etc)
Cell phones
Microwave ovens
Rocks larger than 10oz
Piles of rocks, each smaller than 10oz, but collectively larger than 1lb
Sticks or rods larger in diameter that ¼” or longer than 1 ½”
Archery items (bows, arrows)
Slings (sling shot, forked sticks that create a ‘Y’ that can be held, etc.)
 

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