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You forgot the hitch ball shearing off as you glide into the water with your trailer suspended under the boat.osprey said:
Here is what works for me at the boat ramp. I roll down to the ramp and get out and put my wife in the drivers seat and let my Rotweiler out of the back. I jump in the boat and yell at the ol lady to back me in while my Rotty pisses on your tires and scares your fu fu dogs and children. Turns out the ol lady can't back up for bubblegum so I am yellin at her in between trying to start my boat before we actually hit the water. I crank and crank but all I smell is gas. Odd since it ran great 9 months ago. Unfazed I bark at the ol lady as she is jacknifed again and light a cigarette before opening the dog house to find the problem. I spot it right off, one of my rat bastard stepkids prolly was playin around in the boat and pulled the coil wire off at the distrubutor. I put it back on and fire that mother humper up and rev it loud, water pump be damned. By now the ol lady has driven 2 miles trying to cover the 15yds down the ramp but is damn near to the finish line so I yell "that-a boy". The mob that is gathering thinks I was yelling at my rot that is humping your wife's leg and the crowd seems to be getting agitated for some unknown reason. Touchdown! The boat is in the water so I jam her in reverse and feed her the onions but it won't budge. I know I disconnected the winch cable and safety chain so I yell at the ol lady " goddammit Cindy you forgot to remind me to take the transom straps loose", "pull forward". I then yell at her to get out take the straps loose while I light another cig and crack a beer while I fiddle with the new stereo I put in the boat , cranking that hillbilly bubblegum up so the bass is a thumpin. The ol lady jumps back in the truck and weaves me back into the drink. I fire her up and expertly back her off and take the last spot on the dock 10' behind my submerged trailer. "Go park that thing" and getcher goddamn dog" I yell. She takes the last parking spot boxing some poor bastard in and gathers up our Rot Satan who just found a picnic lunch to devour out of your knockoff Yeti. As she boards the boat I am thinking Damn that women looks fine for having 8 kids muffin top and all. Off we go cause we got us a finely tuned system to deal with you boat ramp rookies. See you on the water!
-This is not a very accurate description of me at all!!! We have Weimaraners
