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I teach a few Engineering courses down here in Roseburg at the community college, where we have one or two actual rednecks...Most of 'em will pass this Final Exam! :s0155:

1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10 pound possum.

2. Which of the following cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard?

a. '66 Ford Fairlane
b. '69 Chevrolet Chevelle
c. '64 Pontiac GTO

3. If your uncle builds a still that operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of shine per hour, how many car radiators are necessary to condense the product?

4. A pulpwood cutter has a chain saw that operates at 2700 rpm. The density of the pine trees in a plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The lot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweiser Tall-Boys will it take to cut the trees?

5. If every old refrigerator in the state vented a charge of R-12 simultaneously, what would be the decrease in the ozone layer?

6. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The porch floor is 1 inch rough sawn pine. When the porch collapses, how many hound dogs will be killed?

7. A man owns a house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an average slope of 15%. The man has 5 children. Can each of the children place a mobile home on the man's land?

8. A 2-ton pulpwood truck is overloaded and proceeding down a steep grade on a secondary road at 45 mph. The brakes fail. Given the average traffic loading of secondary roads, how many people will swerve to avoid the truck before it crashes at the bottom of the mountain? For extra credit, how many of the vehicles that swerved will have mufflers and uncracked windshields?

9. A Coal Mine operates a NFPA Class 1, Division 2 Hazardous Area. The mine employs 120 miners per shift. A gas warning is issued at the beginning of 3rd shift. How many cartons of unfiltered Camels will be smoked during the shift?

10. How many generations will it take before cattle develop two legs shorter than the others because of grazing along a mountainside?


Sorry, I just could'nt resist :D
 
I teach a few Engineering courses down here in Roseburg at the community college, where we have one or two actual rednecks...Most of 'em will pass this Final Exam! :s0155:

1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10 pound possum. answer:What the dern is a persimmons?

2. Which of the following cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard? answer: Is it a 2 door or 4?

a. '66 Ford Fairlane
b. '69 Chevrolet Chevelle
c. '64 Pontiac GTO

3. If your uncle builds a still that operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of shine per hour, how many car radiators are necessary to condense the product? answer:That's getting pretty high falutin usin radiaters.

4. A pulpwood cutter has a chain saw that operates at 2700 rpm. The density of the pine trees in a plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The lot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweiser Tall-Boys will it take to cut the trees? answer:My cousin would do it for 2 six packs.

5. If every old refrigerator in the state vented a charge of R-12 simultaneously, what would be the decrease in the ozone layer? answer: refrigeraters dont use shotguns.

6. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The porch floor is 1 inch rough sawn pine. When the porch collapses, how many hound dogs will be killed?answer: That's a well buildt porch it aint gonna collaps.

7. A man owns a house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an average slope of 15%. The man has 5 children. Can each of the children place a mobile home on the man's land? answer: No they cant cause his brothers and sisters already done filled up the place.

8. A 2-ton pulpwood truck is overloaded and proceeding down a steep grade on a secondary road at 45 mph. The brakes fail. Given the average traffic loading of secondary roads, how many people will swerve to avoid the truck before it crashes at the bottom of the mountain? For extra credit, how many of the vehicles that swerved will have mufflers and uncracked windshields? answer:must be city slickers that done have mufflers,they aint smart enuf to swerve.

9. A Coal Mine operates a NFPA Class 1, Division 2 Hazardous Area. The mine employs 120 miners per shift. A gas warning is issued at the beginning of 3rd shift. How many cartons of unfiltered Camels will be smoked during the shift? answer:10 and for extra credit 2 cartons of lucky's.

10. How many generations will it take before cattle develop two legs shorter than the others because of grazing along a mountainside? answer: they already have em we cut two off and made soup.


Sorry, I just could'nt resist :D

please let me know my grade.
 
If your wife plans a dinner party and makes you drink your beer out of a mason jar
you might be a redneck.


I remember this bar in Colorado where they drank their beer this way.
 
When your transfer switch from your genny

To your main panel is a 25' chunk of 8/3 cable

With two male ends..........

Moi? No never monsieur.

Back in the old days in the Rogue Valley

There were the Rednecks

The Hippie Rednecks

And the Redneck Hippies.

I belong to the latter persuasion.

And you sure ain't gonna change me now.


isher
 
If your buddy asks you what you use to crimp 12 ga or 20 ga reloads and your answer is "how big is the cigarette lighter in the truck?", you just might be a redneck.

Don't laugh. I know a guy who did this. :eek:
 

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