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If us gun nuts ever want to shake the public's perception of gun owners as vain old white men we need to stop gatekeeping fair weather gun ownership. "Should (insert person) own a gun?" is a completely moot question, because it isn't your decision to make. It is there's to make and the connotation that you can tell them as a matter of fact comes off like a conceited armchair psychologist.

You have to learn to walk before you can run and same is true for some gun owners. Just because someone shows a preponderance to gun color or any other aesthetics over something like double vs single stack, .40 vs 9mm, or any other technical feature that they haven't wrapped their head around yet should not be grounds for writing them off as "shouldn't own guns". Just because YOU have an extreme interest in all things related to firearms doesn't mean she will or she is wrong if she doesn't. While we are on that subject, lets not kid ourselves everyone here commenting on a firearms ownership thread of a local gun forum has a extreme interest in guns. We are an echo chamber and an outlier. Don't hold a typical person to this forum's standard of interest. A habit I have held is before I go on a rant about something technical to my significant other, I will ask her to rate her interest 1-10 and pare down my rant accordingly.

Example 1:
A close friend of mine has parents that were competition shooters and in fact both were Safety Officers. Excellent shooters in every aspect with the reloading, cleaning, and equipment that made me envious every time I visited. She never cleaned the guns or reloaded any of the rounds they shot and ya know what, that is O.K.

Example 2:
I had a friend who put me in contact with a friend of his who was looking for my advise on a first gun for him and his wife. I asked what they planned on using it for and gave them a suggestion and passed on the importance of training. They ended up choosing a gun other than my recommendation which wouldn't be very fun to train with. This was at the wife's insistence. Not a problem, they are free to do whatever. I am just happy they had a foot in the door. Come to find out 4 months later, they went out and bought that first gun I recommended, again with the wife's insistence. In addition I hear from my friend that they are going out with him training a ton with that second gun. Sometimes it is best to let people find their own way rather than force something down their throat.
 
Why is "man" in quotes? And where did he "trash" her? He is being honest about her inabilities.

Man is in quotes because a real man doesn't come here and trash his wife. I say "trash" because he listed all her deficiencies (in his mind) without listing any of her capable qualities as he did in a later post. IMO that is a patently unfair thing that spouses do to each other when seeking others approval for a decision they plan to make anyway. (Ever been to marriage counseling... spouses take turns weighting the councilor's opinion against the other party.)

He initially made her seem like an incompetent, foolish, boob of a girl. When the truth is that she is a professional.

Lets say I came on here and listed all the problems my wife is having with dementia, w/o saying she has dementia. And provided an exhaustive list of the things she does wrong (in my mind and perception), w/o saying what she still gets right. Then asking the group if they think I should not "allow" or that my wife should not be "allowed" to have or handle a firearm. What answer do you thing the group would give after I have "colored" them with my own perceptions and made it sound like it was my place to tell her she can't/won't/couldn't??? (This is a "marital" conversation that we are destined to have, but it's gonna be between me and her.)
 
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Man is in quotes because a real man doesn't come here and trash his wife. I say "trash" because he listed all her deficiencies (in his mind) without listed any of her capable qualities as he did in a later post. IMO that is a patently unfair thing that spouses do to each other.

He initially made her seem like an incompetent, foolish, boob of a girl.

Lets say I came on here and listed all the problems my wife is having with dementia, w/o saying she has dementia. And provided and exhaustive list of the things she does wrong, w/o saying what she still gets right. Then asking the group if they think I my wife should not be "allowed" to have or handle a firearm. What answer do you thing the group would give after I have "colored" them with my own perceptions and made it sound like it was my place to tell her she can't/won't/couldn't??? (This is a "marital" conversation that we are destined to have, but it's gonna be between me and her.)

Well, this is a gun forum, and the OP has concerns of his wife being able to handle a gun responsibly. I didn't take his explanation as "trashing" her, I took it more as being very honest. Also, names and details aren't used here so I guess I don't see what the big deal is. He's looking for advice, and obviously is a little frustrated (although he keeps it in check) so he was probably doing a little venting too. So what? It's not like any of us are going to recognize him or his wife at the grocery store or whatever. I don't see the need to "defend" his wife with posts putting him down......
 
Kinda like saying "traits of someone who shouldn't have the right to free speech or be free from unlawful search and seizure".

If she's an adult in good standing with the law, and wants one, end of story, her call. You can choose not to participate if you want.
 
Well, this is a gun forum, and the OP has concerns of his wife being able to handle a gun responsibly. I didn't take his explanation as "trashing" her, I took it more as being very honest. Also, names and details aren't used here so I guess I don't see what the big deal is. He's looking for advice, and obviously is a little frustrated (although he keeps it in check) so he was probably doing a little venting too. So what? It's not like any of us are going to recognize him or his wife at the grocery store or whatever. I don't see the need to "defend" his wife with posts putting him down......

Never said he doesn't have the right to discuss his concerns on a gun forum. I just suspect, from his very own posts, where he is coming from... my right to speak too. Have I been disrespectful towards him? If so, I'll report myself.

Your opinion is noted. I'm not changing mine. As I said in an earlier post, I'm standing firm.

Perspective... I don't see myself as "defending" her, nor as "putting him down". I expressed that I think he is "mansplaining", that he is disrespecting his wife, that he is ignoring her needs, that he is ignoring her personality or the way she learns, and that he is the wrong person to teach her. I'll stick by all of that.

I am trying to reach him, not you. He wanted answers, and I'm not giving him the answer he obviously wants. So be it.
 
Fair enough, I am just trying to figure out why you are questioning him being a "real man". I'd call that plenty disrespectful.
 
Man is in quotes because a real man doesn't come here and trash his wife. I say "trash" because he listed all her deficiencies (in his mind) without listing any of her capable qualities as he did in a later post. IMO that is a patently unfair thing that spouses do to each other when seeking others approval for a decision they plan to make anyway. (Ever been to marriage counseling... spouses take turns weighting the councilor's opinion against the other party.)

He initially made her seem like an incompetent, foolish, boob of a girl. When the truth is that she is a professional.

Professional what? I didn't see anything that supports your statement. Regardless, I don't see him trashing his wife, I see a frustrated husband looking for advice and trying to keep his wife safe. Maybe that's just me.
 
Professional what? I didn't see anything that supports your statement. Regardless, I don't see him trashing his wife, I see a frustrated husband looking for advice and trying to keep his wife safe. Maybe that's just me.

I'd have to look back thru the posts, but he later wrote that she manages people for a living. Is that not a "professional"?

Whether it's just you or not, I'm sticking by my opinion.

I have concerns about MY wife. Not going to come here and provide a litany of her problems. Apparently, that's just me.
 
I'd have to look back thru the posts, but he later wrote that she manages people for a living. Is that not a "professional"?

Whether it's just you or not, I'm sticking by my opinion.

I have concerns about MY wife. Not going to come here and provide a litany of her problems. Apparently, that's just me.

I respect that.
 
Fair enough, I am just trying to figure out why you are questioning him being a "real man". I'd call that plenty disrespectful.

Missed this one.. sorry. You deserve a response.

Just stating my opinion that a "real man" doesn't go about it in such a colored, one-sided, or unfair manner.
 
A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed. Unless the following traits exist...
 
The details are underwhelming.

I find a 38 revolver an ideal starting defense worthy firearm for new people, since operating a slide and magazine changes, chamber loaded, tap-rack-bang jam drills are difficult for many nubies.

And as pointed out, my wife took a woman's only beginners course, hadn't mentioned it but they had a variety for the ladies to try out and she developed a liking for the Glock 19, which surprised me.

She shoots a Colt Detective Special and G19 quite well, in spite of your universal observation. Did the same for my now adult daughter and she stayed with the 38. Started them both out (before classes) with a Ruger 22 pistol that I loaded for them, but never considered that for either to own or use in self-defense.

Well, sorry about the underwhelming details, here you go...

I have S&W 442 in my pocket right now, not a 442-1 or 442-2 but the original 442. I bought from a guy who bought it for his wife who fired exactly 5 shots through it before putting it her sock drawer for decades, there it sat until I came along and bought it. She hated it and that is a common theme I have witnessed for many moons.

Snubnose revolvers are difficult to shoot well and generally suck as a defensive weapon because:

1. They have a long heavy trigger pull causing the muzzle to inadvertently move upon being depresses making accuracy a challenge.
2. They have a very short sight radius and typically diminutive sights which are difficult to see well and again making accuracy a challenge.
3. There recoil hard and most women, especially beginners do not like recoil because it hurts their hand and often scares them.
4. The alleged simplicity is a falsehood, revolvers are mechanically much more complex than auto loaders. If a revolver goes down at the wrong time in a gun fight it is not going to be put back into action, it is done, for an auto and tap, rack or even just rack will get it back into action.
5. Like #4, take speed reloads - forget about. The New York reload exists for a reason.
6. Very limited capacity and see #5

There's more but that is the bulk of it. Don't take my word for it, here is want women have to say...

CHOOSING THE RIGHT GUN – A FEMALE PERSPECTIVE
The Argument Against the Snub Nose Revolver as a "Ladies' Gun"
What Kind Of Gun For A Woman
Four Reasons to NEVER Carry Just a .38 Snubnose
Guns For Beginners: The Best Carry Handgun(s) For Women

Note all the .38 snubs here...
Top 12-handguns for women
The Top 10 Most Popular Guns For Women – 2018
Best Handguns for Women in 2020
That's right, there aren't any, not one.

I see from another post of yours you helped a legally blind woman, incapable of operating a car and unfamiliar with firearms, uncomfortable with a 38 to acquire an AR. The logic of that is, well there is no logic in that. There's either a lot more to the story or it's fictional.

You are wrong, there is logic behind it, she is better with it as everyone is...


There is always more to the story but quite frankly it is none of your business and furthermore I don't appreciate being called a liar. You can take it or leave it I don't give a rip.
 
I see from another post of yours you helped a legally blind woman, incapable of operating a car and unfamiliar with firearms, uncomfortable with a 38 to acquire an AR. The logic of that is, well there is no logic in that. There's either a lot more to the story or it's fictional.

Legally blind doesn't mean they can't see.

From WebMD - "Normal vision is 20/20. That means you can clearly see an object 20 feet away. If you're legally blind, your vision is 20/200 or less in one eye. That means if an object is 200 feet away, you have to stand 20 feet from it in order to see it clearly. But a person with normal vision can stand 200 feet away and see that object perfectly."
 
Fair enough, I am just trying to figure out why you are questioning him being a "real man". I'd call that plenty disrespectful.
Professional what? I didn't see anything that supports your statement. Regardless, I don't see him trashing his wife, I see a frustrated husband looking for advice and trying to keep his wife safe. Maybe that's just me.
I respect that.

Gotta admit, the new blocking/ignoring feature totally confused the shiz out of me on this one. I'm sitting here thinking, "what is he going on about?" Then realized I'm ignored :s0140:
 
I find a 38 revolver an ideal starting defense worthy firearm for new people, since operating a slide and magazine changes, chamber loaded, tap-rack-bang jam drills are difficult for many nubies.

I agree if you're talking about, say, a model 19 4" barrel. Little j frame pocket pistols are nasty to shoot and drive a lot of people away from shooting if they're forced down that path. Every new shooter I have ever trained liked the smaller caliber large frame pistols the most (like shooting 38 special out of a model 19). Reason? Hardly any recoil and more comfortable to shoot.
 

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