Tomorrow's new feed, man burns down house from chernobyl spider

[etrain16]

I agree with @Ura-Ki, that's a hobo spider - we get them in our house from time to time - just had one in the living room a week ago - sitting in the middle of the floor, staring at me

I'm a total pu$$ when it comes to spiders. Snakes, rats, pretty much anything else, no problem, but spiders were obviously a creation of Satan himself, a creature that contains all of his hatred and evil into the creepiest looking and creepiest moving death machines on the planet. I don't believe in non-poisonous spiders, because they are all equipped with fear-generating glands that turn any man into a wuss - that's sciency stuff right there.

I'm just thankful I don't live in a place like Australia where they deal with the Huntsman spider - basically take that damn hobo spider, run it through a few passes in a nuclear reactor, and you get the huntsman:

For some devilish reason, they seem to love to be up on the ceiling, where they can more easily drop on your head and eat your brain.

 

[Andy54Hawken]

I say nuke it from orbit ... Its the only way to be sure.
Andy

 

[HuckleberryFun]

I say nuke it from orbit ... Its the only way to be sure.
Andy

Aliens! Where's Sigourney Weaver when you need her?

 

[The B]

We used to catch and release in the Beckerich house.. Now we don't even bother catching. just let em skitter away

You'd think we'd all have spider bites and spiders all over the place... But that's a negative. And it's my hope we have fewer insects. And theoretically we should..

As to IDing the op's spider... We also have these silver dollar sized brown spiders, and we investigated what they are some time ago. I can tell you it's definitely a funnel-web spider, but no one but an arachnologist can tell you which is which, or how venomous it is (at least one variety is pretty much no concern to humans, and at least another, AKA hobo spider, has a potentially mildly dangerous venomous bite).

I will confess that the wife will occasionally get a nasty case of the heebeejeebees and we'll capture or even kill a particularly large funnel web spider.. Sadly. They are pretty fuccin creepy, all big and fast and especially their tendency to run right at your feet ...

Apparently this is an evolutionary instinct/reflex when they get scared they run for high ground... Trees, shrubs, etc. I guess their predators are rodents and lizards and bubblegum that can't climb or climb as well.. Just happens to be that human legs look a lot like trees to spiders

 

[v0lcom13sn0w]

a while back the screen to my bedroom window needed replaced... it wasnt installed in the window. window was open and a crane fly landed on my face when i was ALMOST asleep. i did not know i could jump so high from a sleeping position, scream so loud, run so fast, and pu$$ out like a little bit-ch so hard. yeah. wife was laughing her @$$ off.

 

[Brutus57]

Not a fan of spiders, my wife recently suffered a nasty bite, probably brown recluse bit her on top of foot between toes, probably got inside her gardening clogs, painful for a long time, weeks, nasty abcess.... I generally terminate with extreme prejudice spiders in the house, garage or car. Out doors, they are free to go about their business as long as they do not violate my no fly zone. In the house if they aren't smashed to nothingness they get a burial at sea with zero military honors,shroud of toilet paper or tissue and, usually just some smart bubblegum remark at the time like..."mess with the best, die like the rest" as the toilet flushes.

Brutus Out

 

[jbett98]

Now this is a spider.

 

[Velzey]

I would have the makings of a new tube skylight, from the 10ga 3 1/2" BB shot hole!

No

 

[clearconscience]

A couple winters ago I had the same type of spider that came in with the dog one morning. It ran by my feet and under the couch. It was the first time I experienced super human strength.
I literally shoved the couch across the room. Almost threw it. Entire couch.

I think movies like acracnophobia with John Goodman, and seeing spider bites throughout the years made me much more scared of them.

Funny, I was in a search and rescue explorer group in 6 & 7th grade. We would hike in the woods for the weekend and make a shelter out of branches and ferns then sleep in there on the dirt.

Now I'm grown, bigger, stronger, with more firepower, and I'm a sissy about bugs.

It's F'd up though when you laying on the couch and a spider crawls across your chest.

Venomous creatures scare me. Even though the likelihood of something being venomous is really small around here, I still act as if every spider will kill me.

 

[Ura-Ki]

I'm with Velzey, Victory through superior firepower!

 

[Sgt Nambu]

Jeeze, ya big baby! Way to pass on your stupid phobia to your kids! Ridiculous!!!

 

[Sgt Nambu]

It's, "as big as a quarter!" Well then, it's just right! Leave it to do its thing with insects, vampire bats, etc!

 

[v0lcom13sn0w]

A couple winters ago I had the same type of spider that came in with the dog one morning. It ran by my feet and under the couch. It was the first time I experienced super human strength.
I literally shoved the couch across the room. Almost threw it. Entire couch.

I think movies like acracnophobia with John Goodman, and seeing spider bites throughout the years made me much more scared of them.

Funny, I was in a search and rescue explorer group in 6 & 7th grade. We would hike in the woods for the weekend and make a shelter out of branches and ferns then sleep in there on the dirt.

Now I'm grown, bigger, stronger, with more firepower, and I'm a sissy about bugs.

It's F'd up though when you laying on the couch and a spider crawls across your chest.

Venomous creatures scare me. Even though the likelihood of something being venomous is really small around here, I still act as if every spider will kill me.

i have experienced this said super human strength before. it was bees.

 

[Sgt Nambu]

BIG AZZ SPIDER!!!

That was hilarious! Good one, Andy!

 

[Ura-Ki]

Back when I was a kid, my brothers and cousins and I used to Snipe the big garden spiders with our .22's. Used to be a pretty serious sport, had to have confirmation of a kill and all that! Taught us serious shooting skills that would serve us well later in life! A .22 doesn't leave much but legs dangling in the web! From there, the old mill pond was THE place to hang out, sniping low flying dragon flies out of the air

 

[ditchtiger]

Another good spider movie, "Eight Legged Freaks" Eight Legged Freaks (2002) - IMDb
And as a plus, Scarlett Johansson in her younger days.

 

[Sgt Nambu]

Back when I was a kid, my brothers and cousins and I used to Snipe the big garden spiders with our .22's. Used to be a pretty serious sport, had to have confirmation of a kill and all that! Taught us serious shooting skills that would serve us well later in life! A .22 doesn't leave much but legs dangling in the web! From there, the old mill pond was THE place to hang out, sniping low flying dragon flies out of the air

Loved walkin' up jagged, twisted, ravines! Step into the next turn and pop the jackrabbit before he makes it to his next turn. As we got older, we kids, graduated to the same game with .357 revolvers! It's amazing fun!

 

[DeanfromOregon]

I put the spiders outside these days. My place is prone to mosquitos, spiders and bats eat them along with the flies.

Circle of life!

 

[Stomper]

Another good spider movie, "Eight Legged Freaks" Eight Legged Freaks (2002) - IMDb
And as a plus, Scarlett Johansson in her younger days.

"Younger days"? Dude she was born in 11/84.... (Not quite) 32 (not 16) is PRIME!

 

[soberups]