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For me, another "Who knew?"

You know those little cars you see around with all the graphics on them? Sometimes for services like "Merry Maids" or similar house cleaning service. I've seen one around here for mobile dog grooming.

What I saw today was a car with graphics advertising dog poop scooping service. Really. For people too lazy to scoop the dog sh*t out of their own yard. And with money enough to afford it, I guess. Later when I looked this kind of service up online, I found there were several such in this area. I didn't know.
 
No no no....you got the wrong idea. This is a valuable community service as it is certainly cheaper than the resulting lawsuit when you unload a couple of 12 gauge buckshot rounds into those bastards that pooped on your lawn. :D
 
I can say from experience that shooting a dog taking a dump on your lawn isn't worth the trouble, and I didn't even inflict any serious injury on the dog.
Long story short the barfly across the street had 2 dogs she allowed to become neighborhood pests. (My next door neighbor swore revenge when one of her dogs dropped a deuce in his kid's wagon. Then just to make his point he bounced a target arrow off of her mail box.) When she released the dog 1st thing to defile my lawn I popped it with a .22 birdshot round. The ensuing legal sturm und drang was a lot more heartburn than dealing with the dog guano would have been.
 
I can say from experience that shooting a dog taking a dump on your lawn isn't worth the trouble, and I didn't even inflict any serious injury on the dog.
Long story short the barfly across the street had 2 dogs she allowed to become neighborhood pests. (My next door neighbor swore revenge when one of her dogs dropped a deuce in his kid's wagon. Then just to make his point he bounced a target arrow off of her mail box.) When she released the dog 1st thing to defile my lawn I popped it with a .22 birdshot round. The ensuing legal sturm und drang was a lot more heartburn than dealing with the dog guano would have been.
I have not had to use them in a hell of a long time but I found airsoft guns worked fantastic for this. Bought a couple of the battery powered full auto jobs. I can fire it into my bare hand so it's not like it can do any harm. For some reason they scare holy hell out of stray dogs and cats. I have to guess they can't see what is pelting them? The things are totally harmless which is what I wanted. Did not want to hurt the animals and the guns just chased them off super well. Even used it on a Heron that was trying to eat the Wife's Koi. :D
 
I can say from experience that shooting a dog taking a dump on your lawn isn't worth the trouble, and I didn't even inflict any serious injury on the dog.
Long story short the barfly across the street had 2 dogs she allowed to become neighborhood pests. (My next door neighbor swore revenge when one of her dogs dropped a deuce in his kid's wagon. Then just to make his point he bounced a target arrow off of her mail box.) When she released the dog 1st thing to defile my lawn I popped it with a .22 birdshot round. The ensuing legal sturm und drang was a lot more heartburn than dealing with the dog guano would have been.

Next time, do the triple S routine: Shoot, Shovel, Shutup
:D

Seriously though, how big was the fine or did you go to jail for it?
 
1. We used this as a chore for my daughter $/dog/day that she cleaned up.

2. Economic reality is that many jobs are best outsourced. Do you like picking up poo? How much per hour are you worth?
Even if you are doing some other pleasant task, say cleaning brass, the economic reality is that certain chores can/should be outsourced. No one is challenging your manliness for lawn mowing, gutter cleaning, X-mas lights hanging etc.
I outsourced my lawn moving to a neighbor who was only looking for cash to go play golf. He didn't need the $$, but once he had his machine going, my yard was only a couple of extra minutes.
 
I can say from experience that shooting a dog taking a dump on your lawn isn't worth the trouble, and I didn't even inflict any serious injury on the dog.
Long story short the barfly across the street had 2 dogs she allowed to become neighborhood pests. (My next door neighbor swore revenge when one of her dogs dropped a deuce in his kid's wagon. Then just to make his point he bounced a target arrow off of her mail box.) When she released the dog 1st thing to defile my lawn I popped it with a .22 birdshot round. The ensuing legal sturm und drang was a lot more heartburn than dealing with the dog guano would have been.
You need a cold/drop cat, yo.
 
You need a cold/drop cat, yo.
I know where you can get one.

Funny-Free-Cat-Road-Kill-Picture.jpg
 
I'd be tempted to "return" droppings to her property, namely the walkways, porch, and driveway (NOT the sidewalk, which is public access) so she has to deal with effluent. ;)
My Wife did this one time years ago. To this day when I bring it up she flat out denies it ever happened :s0140:
We had gone to breakfast after I got off work. Pull up, HUGE pile in our front yard. People on the other side of street had a huge dog that they had been fined multiple times for it being loose. I went to grab shovel to clean it up. Wife gets out of car with one of those plastic store bags. Picks up pile, walks across street, spreads it all over the steps leading to the house where the dog lived.
When she came back I said "you don't know for sure it was even their dog." She did not seem to care :s0140:
 
No no no....you got the wrong idea. This is a valuable community service as it is certainly cheaper than the resulting lawsuit when you unload a couple of 12 gauge buckshot rounds into those bastards that pooped on your lawn. :D

I left a couple of neighborhood poopers a bag lunch of a couple hot dogs and some bent nails. They took it home and opened it in their driveway. It was a present that keep giving for weeks afterward.
 
The ensuing legal sturm und drang was a lot more heartburn than dealing with the dog guano would have been.

These days, you can't just do that kind of stuff. Or let anybody see you do it, anyway.

Turning s--t into money....

This is done all the time on a site called eBay.

Economic reality is that many jobs are best outsourced. Do you like picking up poo? How much per hour are you worth?
Even if you are doing some other pleasant task, say cleaning brass, the economic reality is that certain chores can/should be outsourced

I agree with this concept. But I can't bring myself to pay someone to do something I can do myself. I won't hire day laborers from the parking lot of Home Creepo, but I will hire a licensed guy I know to do things I no longer am able to do safely. Like anything to do with ladders and the second story of my building. At age 70, I can still maintain my forested property and with a bad foot it's begining to be a chore. But as long as I'm able, I'll do it. That's just me. Cleaning up dog dirt is no particular trouble. No worse than the toilets I cleaned in the army, nor lots of diapers on children, etc.
 
These days, you can't just do that kind of stuff. Or let anybody see you do it, anyway.



This is done all the time on a site called eBay.



I agree with this concept. But I can't bring myself to pay someone to do something I can do myself. I won't hire day laborers from the parking lot of Home Creepo, but I will hire a licensed guy I know to do things I no longer am able to do safely. Like anything to do with ladders and the second story of my building. At age 70, I can still maintain my forested property and with a bad foot it's begining to be a chore. But as long as I'm able, I'll do it. That's just me. Cleaning up dog dirt is no particular trouble. No worse than the toilets I cleaned in the army, nor lots of diapers on children, etc.


Actually I think craigslist is a better example. Just my opinion though.
 
I can say from experience that shooting a dog taking a dump on your lawn isn't worth the trouble, and I didn't even inflict any serious injury on the dog.
Long story short the barfly across the street had 2 dogs she allowed to become neighborhood pests. (My next door neighbor swore revenge when one of her dogs dropped a deuce in his kid's wagon. Then just to make his point he bounced a target arrow off of her mail box.) When she released the dog 1st thing to defile my lawn I popped it with a .22 birdshot round. The ensuing legal sturm und drang was a lot more heartburn than dealing with the dog guano would have been.

Thanks for sharing that, I'm at my wits end with 2 dogs here, police/animal control won't lift a darn finger.
The .22 rifle sitting here in the corner has been really weighing heavy on me!

Do you think spray painting the dogs would be such a poop-show?
 
Thanks for sharing that, I'm at my wits end with 2 dogs here, police/animal control won't lift a darn finger.
The .22 rifle sitting here in the corner has been really weighing heavy on me!

Do you think spray painting the dogs would be such a poop-show?

If you could get close enough to paint them the dog going home with wet paint may be fun for the owner:s0140:
As tempting as the .22 could be it could also be a good way to see to it you are in HUGE trouble here.:(
I used to buy my airsoft from Wally. Looks like they do not have them any more. Found one that is about the same on Ebay. These will do zero harm and when I used them scared hell out of strays for some reason. Being clear they are less likely to have a SWAT team at your door if someone sees you ;)

 
1) "Next time, do the triple S routine: Shoot, Shovel, Shutup"
Not feasible under the totality of the circumstances, unfortunately. I would guess (we moved almost immediately thereafter) that Irritated Man With Bow probably took care of it. The owner's kid was watching, so the .30-06 was not part of the equation.

2) "Seriously though, how big was the fine or did you go to jail for it?"
Not Guilty. The charge was "Cruelty to Animals." I demonstrated that I chose birdshot to avoid serious harm, and that I could have used a .22 CO2 pistol but that WOULD have inflicted serious injury. The vet told them that treating it would be more traumatic than the injury itself. This did not occur in a political vacuum. The political milieu involved the usual argument over what the Sheriff had funds for, and animal control got hind teat.

3) The DA had witnesses lined up to say I had done the same to other nuisance canines, but their subpoenas somehow had the wrong time and they arrived at the conclusion of festivities. (My wife worked in county gov't and knew all of those folks. I still wonder if it was just "Ooops.")

4) It wasn't just a matter of dealing with the lawn steamers - we dealt with our own dog's bio-exhaust. It was the utter chutzpah of deliberately letting their dogs constitute a neighborhood nuisance. At the end of the day I prevailed but like I said it wasn't worth the trouble.

5) Farther back in the Dream Time we had several of the neighbors' dogs trashing the yard. Dog that particularly annoyed me whizzed on the chrome rally wheels on our '67 GTA. Birdshot deployed, sheriff called, showed them CO2 pistol. At that point I switched to a Wrist Rocket with .44 cal pistol balls. Recipients did not return for a replay.
 
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I have it on good authority that frozen paintballs hurt like a mf'er.

I have no personal experience or legal advice beyond what was relayed to me from a family friend. Your results may vary.
 
I have it on good authority that frozen paintballs hurt like a mf'er.

I have no personal experience or legal advice beyond what was relayed to me from a family friend. Your results may vary.
A while back it was on the local news here, "kids" , ie scum, were driving around using those on homes. Showed places with that aluminum siding with nice large holes made in them from those damn things. So have to guess they would do some real damage and possibly kill a dog. As tempting as this may be I hope people remember it's not the dogs fault the owner is a moron, and that if they do this there would be a really good chance they would end up in court. Could get REALLY expensive for the shooter. :eek:
 

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