The Chuck Norris Thread

[RicInOR]

I saw this pop back to the top, didn't realize it was a birthday thread.



Yep, Chuck's been around for 70,000 years. That is an actual image - not something
'shopped to look like him.
VA Viper: UK scientists recreated Neanderthal man, who looks just like Chuck Norris
Recreating Neanderthal man

 

[cigars]

I saw this pop back to the top, didn't realize it was a birthday thread.

View attachment 557604

Yep, Chuck's been around for 70,000 years. That is an actual image - not something
'shopped to look like him.
VA Viper: UK scientists recreated Neanderthal man, who looks just like Chuck Norris
Recreating Neanderthal man

Haha! He hasn't changed a bit.

THWACK!

Oh dang, where did that foot just come from?

 

[cigars]

Chuck can lift up a chair with with one hand...while he's sitting on it.

Chuck can unscramble eggs.

Once a cobra bit Chuck. After five days of extreme pain, the snake died.

Once a traffic cop pulled over Chuck. Chuck let him go with only a warning.

Chuck used a stunt double during crying scenes.

Chuck's parachute failed to open, so he took it back for a refund.

Chuck never rings a wrong number. People pick up the wrong phone.

Chuck broke the law once. It still hasn't been fixed.

 

[Phantom Man]

Behind Chuck Norris' beard is another fist.

LOLOLOLOLOLOL

 

[Phantom Man]

I went to college with a guy from Rolling Hills California (West Los Angeles). He played little league and Chucks son was on a team in the league they played in. He said Chuck would sit in the stands with sunglasses on and acting like Joe Cool and barely moving. All the kids thought he was a dork. Apparently people here think so too.

 

[cigars]

I went to college with a guy from Rolling Hills California (West Los Angeles). He played little league and Chucks son was on a team in the league they played in. He said Chuck would sit in the stands with sunglasses on and acting like Joe Cool and barely moving. All the kids thought he was a dork. Apparently people here think so too.

Can't really argue with that. Not sure how the Chuck Norris joke phenomena began but it's harmless good clean fun (usually).

 

[Lakecres]

Chuck Norris can drift a Abrhams tank

 

[Lakecres]

When Chuck Norris stares into the abyss, the abyss blushes

 

[Phantom Man]

When Chuck Norris farts only dogs can hear it.

 

[cigars]

Chuck Norris can drift a Abrhams tank

It's actually not that hard to drift a tracked vehicle.

 

[Phantom Man]

It's actually not that hard to drift a tracked vehicle.

LOL

 

[titsonritz]

Chuck Norris Joins Glock as Spokesman :: Guns.com

Let the Chuck 'n Glock one liners ensue.

 

[cigars]

Chuck Norris Joins Glock as Spokesman :: Guns.com

Let the Chuck 'n Glock one liners ensue.

OK I'll start. Maybe Chuck Norris will make the Glock 45 and actual 45ACP.

 

[CLT65]

I remember reading that Chuck Norris was taken aback when the "Chuck Norris Facts" thing started. He was flattered by some, offended by others, and even filed (and later dropped) a lawsuit over it.

They say he got over it after a while when he came to the realization that the "Chuck Norris Facts" really have absolutely nothing to do with him personally. They're just about his over-the-top persona as the ultimate Hollywood Tough Guy, and had all the "Facts" been started about some other 80's Tough Guy, it would have been someone else.

That said, I've heard that he's actually a sincerely decent guy, and a staunch gun rights supporter.

 

[sixfoot674]

glock now carries Chuck norris for protection

 

[xlsbob]

Maybe he'll be able to afford acting lessons now

 

[Ironbar]

Maybe he'll be able to afford acting lessons now

Chuck Norris doesn't take acting lessons. He just beats them into submission.

 

[Hop Sing]

Chuck Norris once strangled a bad guy with a cordless phone.

 

[arakboss]

Chuck Norris visited the "virgin" islands... when he left it was renamed to the islands.

 

[Hop Sing]

Chuck Norris worked as a logger in the Sahara Forest.