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Taurus for Taurus - Zombies are comin'

Discussion in 'Handgun Classifieds' started by 97321, Dec 4, 2011.

  1. 97321

    97321 Albany Active Member

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    CLOSED
     
    Last edited: Feb 4, 2012
  2. 97321

    97321 Albany Active Member

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    'Tis two weeks before Christmas
    And my thread has no hits
    Still, it's only been one week
    So I won't call it quits

    There was a little interest
    I got PM'd on Tuesday
    But I can't fault his choice
    When he was offered an AK

    Here's to hoping that Santa
    Will come down the chimney with a thump
    And bring me a magnum
    So let's give this ad a bump.
     
  3. 97321

    97321 Albany Active Member

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    Just one week now 'til Christmas
    And no one's come forth
    To make a trade offer
    Before Santa's trip from the North

    I'm hoping to find
    A big magnum boomer
    I'd be happy in the meantime
    If someone showed a little humor

    My trade is out there, I'm sure,
    They just don't yet know it
    But perhaps someday soon
    They'll meet a gun totin' poet.

    Just here for fun, folks. Can't take it too seriously .... Serious about the trade, though. Bump.
     
  4. nwo

    nwo Southern Oregon Well-Known Member

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    Seriously Bro?

    Your poems are quite clever
    Perhaps somone will come forth with a trade for a lever!

    Hey, I tried. :)

    Merry Christmas!
     
    Guymcdb and (deleted member) like this.
  5. 97321

    97321 Albany Active Member

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    nwo took the time
    And filled my throat with a lump
    When he made a bad rhyme
    but gave me a free bump

    (Thanks nwo)

    But now it is Christmas
    And my stocking hangs bare
    Alas there's no trade
    To put a magnum in there

    Santa's done flying
    Through the sky like a bolt
    Maybe I should consider
    Taking a trade in .45 Colt

    Maybe wanting .44 mag
    Is a little too plucky.
    Well, tell me now, punk,
    Do ya .... feel lucky?

    (I do)

    So I'll brew up some cocoa
    And fill it with schnapps
    Then watch my inbox
    After I send this back to the tops

    Merry Christmas, everybody!
     
  6. Knarf

    Knarf OR Member

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    So is that 24/7 a 9mm? (I could research that myself. But this way, you get a bump, too. :) )

    I agree with nwo: clever, very clever.
     
  7. 97321

    97321 Albany Active Member

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    I was a little bored this morning, so I came up with two new ones for y'all. Enjoy!
    ____________________________________________________________________

    Another week has gone by
    And I haven't sealed the deal
    But you keep coming back
    'Cause you're intrigued with my spiel

    You really need this trade
    Sit back, I'll tell you why
    There may come a day
    That without it you'd die

    I know that's dramatic
    You may think that I bluff
    But just keep on reading
    I'll explain soon enough

    You may yet rue the day
    You ignored the gun that I tout
    If 2012 ends up being
    The year Zombie Apocalypse breaks out!

    Your magnum looks good
    In the woods and the sedge
    But when you face the undead
    You'll want a high capacity edge

    Hordes of them swarming
    In their tatters and stains
    They'll come to your home
    To devour your brains

    You've got six in the cylinder
    How long will you be lastin'?
    But if you trade for my auto
    You can just keep on blastin'

    With this Taurus in hand
    There's no reason to fear
    So make a trade with me now
    And have a Happy New Year!

    _____________________________________________________________________________

    Methinks it is time
    To consider new tactics
    Perhaps you're hesitation
    Is 'cause this gun's made with plastics

    Well put that thought out of mind
    And put your fears all to rest
    This gun's faced its critics
    And flown through the test

    The frame is quite stout
    Its performance is steady
    Its parts are well made
    To keep you always at ready

    It has a comfortable grip
    And it shoots straight and true
    The design won awards
    When the model was new

    So come one and all
    Make an orderly line
    No pushin' or shovin'
    We'll get along fine

    I'm sure there are many
    Eager to get this fine gun
    Whether for home defense
    Or just for the fun

    'Cause the zombie horde's comin'
    Of that be assured
    To be unprepared
    Would just be absurd

    Time to make up your mind
    Now hurry, don't wait
    The competition is fierce
    You don't want to be late

    There, that should do it
    I gave it the right spin
    Now to sit back
    And watch trade offers pour in

    ..... Um .... anytime now ..... is this thing on?
     
  8. 97321

    97321 Albany Active Member

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    What was that noise?
    Did the deck boards just creak?
    Someone's at the window
    They're tryin' to peak

    It might be the zombies
    Has the horde finally risen?
    Or maybe some bad guys
    Just broke out of prison

    Bad things are creapin'
    Through dim, fading light
    They're movin' just beyond
    The edge of your sight

    Maybe Hell just poured forth
    Things with evil intent
    The lake of fire is lit
    And it's time to repent

    You've tried to be good
    But can't help being a sinner
    Now Lucifer's minions
    Want to have you for dinner

    With howls of bloodlust
    Dark forces they rally
    But what they didn't know
    Is you're the baddest in the valley

    You're down on one knee
    But your prayers you're neglectin'
    'Cause the grim reaper's your brother
    And brother, you're collectin'

    From the shadows they come
    Through the woods and the briar
    To line up in your sights
    And go down in nine millimeter fire

    For their dark plans you've become
    A problem most vexsome
    Fear weakens their hearts
    When you call, "Come and get some!"

    All the beasts that are out there
    Desperately need to be shot
    'Til your magazine's empty
    And your barrel is hot

    Then quick as a flash
    The next mag is in
    And hot lead you're sendin'
    Down range with a grin

    But wait, stop the story
    You've just realized
    You don't have an auto
    Like the one fantasized

    You have a revolver
    And I don't mean to taunt
    But now I've got you thinkin'
    It's this Taurus you want

    Yet "want" isn't strong enough
    It's the wrong word, indeed
    We both know the truth
    It's this Taurus you "need"

    There are lots of things
    That go bump in the night
    Care to make a trade?
    I think now you might
     
  9. Deadlybless

    Deadlybless Salem, OR Member

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    If Your Selling It Still Ill Buy It
     
  10. 97321

    97321 Albany Active Member

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    Things didn't quite work out, so this is still up for all others to consider.
     
    Last edited: Jan 22, 2012
  11. 97321

    97321 Albany Active Member

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    Not feeling very creative, so just a bump.
     
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