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Sounds like some fantastic goals.

Here is the rest of my story. On August 11th 2011 my oldest son hung himself in my shop. He was an employee and was working late by himself. He got a call from his long term girlfriend who was away at collage whom he had plans to marry. From what I understand she told him she had met someone else and it was over. I found him the next morning hanging from the gantry crane by a nylon sling. He was 19 year old. I dont know what went though his head. He was an amazing kid, well liked by everybody. He had close to 400 people show up for his service. 99.9 KISW the local rock station even had a moment of silence for him on air. BJ Shea the morning DJ had known him and the story hit pretty close to home. He was a big part of everything. The only one of my three boys that was here in Seattle, The younger ones lived with there mom in southern Oregon and have since they where little so I have never been a day to day part of their lives. I have really tried to develop a relationship with them but they are 800 miles away so interaction is limited.

Anyway to say its been hard on me is a understatement. Everything changed and its about that time that everything turned dark and gloomy in the world for me. I started focusing on everything that was wrong in the world and honestly since he died I have not put the energy into my shop that I once did. I used to work 12-14 hours a day and there was no place I would rather be. Now I am there just long enough to do what has to be done and often I struggle to do even that. My goals have changed, whats important has changed.

There is no great mystery why I felt like things where falling apart around me. I doubt anyone would fault me for being doom and gloom.

I really would like to simplify my life. Currently my things own me. I am a slave to my shop and taking care of all this stuff that used to be really important to me and now just part of my day to day life. Its not that I hate it, I actually enjoy what I do, however I have lost much of the passion that I had. I keep paddling. Maybe that's why I am ready for the S to hit the F, I'll have something real to deal with, focus my energy on. A reason to work hard. I am good under pressure and need things to occupy my mind.


So anyway, there is that. Probably explains a lot.

That is so damned sad. Your assets really don't mean much when that kind of loss hits ya.
One of the hardest things I think a person could live through is the loss of a child, but in that manner it must be even harder. You have our prayers for you and your family and especially for your lost son.
:(
Had no idea...... You are a strong man to endure that so well.
I did the like on your post for your courage to stay afloat and tell it. Not because I liked the content but because I liked your strength of character for telling it. Very sad....................:(
 
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I completely agree with not letting the FACT that 'it' is coming turn you into a depressed case. Live each day with as much joy as you can muster. Funny, back ten years ago when I started to learn about the way things really were and are, I was really bummed. Things I thought were important or believed in entirely were exposed as crap. Withdrawal symptoms, depression, denial, all lined up to kick my rear.

But then you get to a point where you have to ask yourself are you better off in LaLa Land with the lemmings or enlightened? Without a doubt I'd rather not count myself among the mindless drones - sadly the vast majority.

One can be happy and still know things. It takes a while; helps if you have a (sick) sense of humor.

I am all for "IT" taking as long as possibly to arrive. "IT" may be another 2008 or may be 100x worse. Us minions won't know until it is turned loose on us. Just prepare the best you can - especially mentally - and don't let go of any joy you find find in your life.

Funny - I am better off financially then I ever have been. I call it 'surfing the Ponzi" and I plan on riding that wave as long as possible. To those who want "IT" to happen ASAP - you may want to reconsidered that - IT may be horrific beyond belief and you may not ever see a recovery, ever; think happy thoughts!!

http://theeconomiccollapseblog.com/...off-than-just-before-the-last-economic-crisis

IronMonster - that is so sad and really puts our selfish distractions and problems in perspective. I wish you well brother.
 
Here is the rest of my story. On August 11th 2011 my oldest son hung himself in my shop. He was an employee and was working late by himself. He got a call from his long term girlfriend who was away at collage whom he had plans to marry. From what I understand she told him she had met someone else and it was over. I found him the next morning hanging from the gantry crane by a nylon sling. He was 19 year old. I dont know what went though his head. He was an amazing kid, well liked by everybody. He had close to 400 people show up for his service. 99.9 KISW the local rock station even had a moment of silence for him on air. BJ Shea the morning DJ had known him and the story hit pretty close to home. He was a big part of everything. The only one of my three boys that was here in Seattle, The younger ones lived with there mom in southern Oregon and have since they where little so I have never been a day to day part of their lives. I have really tried to develop a relationship with them but they are 800 miles away so interaction is limited.

So anyway, there is that. Probably explains a lot.

That is rough, my friend. Surviving your own child is one of my biggest fears. It would take the wind right out of me. Children don't have the perspective of "one-door-closes another-door-opens" just yet, and there is a high risk for them to rush to conclusions/decisions. My nephew had an early girl-friend that choose the same path, and it still weighs on him 25 years later. If it was me, I would probably try to get active in self-help groups for like-situated families to make sense of it all, but that's very hypothetically speaking. As the Sarge said, bless his soul, and you too.
 
Sounds like some fantastic goals.

Here is the rest of my story. On August 11th 2011 my oldest son hung himself in my shop. He was an employee and was working late by himself. He got a call from his long term girlfriend who was away at collage whom he had plans to marry. From what I understand she told him she had met someone else and it was over. I found him the next morning hanging from the gantry crane by a nylon sling. He was 19 year old. I dont know what went though his head. He was an amazing kid, well liked by everybody. He had close to 400 people show up for his service. 99.9 KISW the local rock station even had a moment of silence for him on air. BJ Shea the morning DJ had known him and the story hit pretty close to home. He was a big part of everything. The only one of my three boys that was here in Seattle, The younger ones lived with there mom in southern Oregon and have since they where little so I have never been a day to day part of their lives. I have really tried to develop a relationship with them but they are 800 miles away so interaction is limited.

Anyway to say its been hard on me is a understatement. Everything changed and its about that time that everything turned dark and gloomy in the world for me. I started focusing on everything that was wrong in the world and honestly since he died I have not put the energy into my shop that I once did. I used to work 12-14 hours a day and there was no place I would rather be. Now I am there just long enough to do what has to be done and often I struggle to do even that. My goals have changed, whats important has changed.

There is no great mystery why I felt like things where falling apart around me. I doubt anyone would fault me for being doom and gloom.

I really would like to simplify my life. Currently my things own me. I am a slave to my shop and taking care of all this stuff that used to be really important to me and now just part of my day to day life. Its not that I hate it, I actually enjoy what I do, however I have lost much of the passion that I had. I keep paddling. Maybe that's why I am ready for the S to hit the F, I'll have something real to deal with, focus my energy on. A reason to work hard. I am good under pressure and need things to occupy my mind.


So anyway, there is that. Probably explains a lot.

There is nothing anyone can say that helps when you lose someone close. I do feel your pain. Married my high school sweetheart and had a great life together for 40 years only to have her die of cancer at 58. All the plans you make mean nothing and what does survival really mean when you lose those who mean the most. I recon it's how we face the worst of times that really measures who we are.

I am sorry for your loss but realize he won't be forgotten, good people are remembered.
 
Thanks for the kind words. It's going on 4 years. I can now think and talk about it in a rational, subjective way. It took a year to kind of get to the point I was able to function at a somewhat normal level and another year before I could think or talk about it without falling apart. It has changed who I am though, I thought for a few years that eventually things would kind of go back to what was "normal" but I have pretty much given up on that.

I have been through more than one test, this was the worst. But it just goes to show that we have no promise that tomorrow will be what we expect or that planing and preperation will matter in the end. Honestly I was not sure I could recover, at one point it just did not seem possible. In the end you get up, show up and just try and do something. Then a week goes by, then a year and after three and a half its just a black hole in your past. I think I will be standing on the edge of that black hole for the rest of my life, but maybe not. I never thought I would make it out but here I am standing on the edge.

It has been a struggle to not just say F'it all and walk away. Somedays I do it for others, some days I simply pass the day thinking I can always give up tomorrow. So far I have managed to turn one more today into yesterday consistantly.

Anyway, it's another day. No reason to think at this point there will not be a tomorrow. Suit up, show up and do something, even if it's wrong.
 
Keep your health up.
Learn basic medical emergency first aid.
All the prepping in the world won't help you if you are too sick or injured to respond.
 
Thanks for the kind words. It's going on 4 years. I can now think and talk about it in a rational, subjective way. It took a year to kind of get to the point I was able to function at a somewhat normal level and another year before I could think or talk about it without falling apart. It has changed who I am though, I thought for a few years that eventually things would kind of go back to what was "normal" but I have pretty much given up on that.

I have been through more than one test, this was the worst. But it just goes to show that we have no promise that tomorrow will be what we expect or that planing and preperation will matter in the end. Honestly I was not sure I could recover, at one point it just did not seem possible. In the end you get up, show up and just try and do something. Then a week goes by, then a year and after three and a half its just a black hole in your past. I think I will be standing on the edge of that black hole for the rest of my life, but maybe not. I never thought I would make it out but here I am standing on the edge.

It has been a struggle to not just say F'it all and walk away. Somedays I do it for others, some days I simply pass the day thinking I can always give up tomorrow. So far I have managed to turn one more today into yesterday consistantly.

Anyway, it's another day. No reason to think at this point there will not be a tomorrow. Suit up, show up and do something, even if it's wrong.

I started to post a pep speech but then realized men will do what needs to happen. Live long and prosper brother and peace be with you.

Jim
 
Iron, I am deeply sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing this with us. That is a big thing to share.

With that said, it truly sounds like your ready for a change. Even if it means walking away from something big.

I feel from reading your words, that your on your path to making that change.

I wish you the best in your ventures. If ever in the North Plains area hit me up. Well get out and do some shooting.
 
Kind of long, but I think it portrays who my son was and how he touched those around him.


The words I spoke at his service.



We are here to day to share our grief, to find comfort in one another. We are here to seek something that simply can not be found.. Meaning in this tragic and unexpected loss… But most of all we are here to show Andrew that he will not be forgotten. That he will live on. That his kind and wonderful soul touched us deeply.



When I started to think about what I wanted to say standing up here today I started taking notes, I started filling pages with moments that touched my life and trying to put into words who Andrew was.. Something became clear to me, and that is it is easy to share your feelings about someone but it is difficult to convey how much a person truly impacted those around him. I have not spent a lot of time at funerals; I have only been to a handful. I remember several of the ones I did attend thinking "who is this person they are talking about?? That's not the person I knew. I realized I didn't really know what a Eulogy was.. When you look it up, it is quite simply Greek for "good words"… Then it made more sense, Its easy to spew a strung together ramble of good words at a funeral knowing that those attending are in grief and probably not trying to make sense of what your saying anyway. But Andrew was deeper than that. Andrew touched everyone and touched them deeply. Andrew was a not a typical 19 year old kid.. Often people where surprised to learn he was so young. Many of the people who have contacted me to offer there condolences thought he was in his mid twenties. He had a maturity about him that was far beyond his years. You don't expect a 19 year old kid to spend night after night sitting and watching the sun go down and seeing the value of sharing that tender moment with one he loved. You don't expect a 19 year old kid to see the deeper beauty of the world and truly take it to heart.. Andrew did… He took the time marvel at Mt Rainer on his drive to work. He could sit on the bank of a stream and just soak in its meaning. I think Andrew saw deeper into the world than most of us.



When meeting people who knew Andrew they always say the same thing. Andrew was so generous and selfless. They share a story about how Andrew came and saved them in there time of need. Many of the parents of Andrews friends have told me that Andrew was an odd duck.. Those other friends would come leaving behind a trail of destruction… But Andrew left after mopping the floor and doing the dishes even though he dirtied neither… Andrew would go to a party and spend all night doing what 19 year olds do… But then get up in the morning and fix everyone breakfast before heading off to work… It was important to Andrew to consider what he could do to make others lives better… Simple things that so many others simply would not have made time for. Most of us with out even thinking, look at a situation and think what's in it for me.. What can I get out of this… Andrew stood in those shoes and thought what can I give, how can I help..



We know Andrew was a giver, . He didn't make things for himself… He spent hours working in the shop to make things for other's.. He didn't have much himself, and I don't think he needed much… Just in this last year Andrew got a new truck. He knew his younger half brother had just got his drivers license and needed something to drive… So he gave his old truck to Landon… That might not seem like much until you realize the two have never met… Just shared a few text messages and phone calls over the last few months… Yet it was just as simple as that… Landon needed it, I have it… I should give it to him…



Andrew had many strong influences through out his life. He had an extended family that even though many of us did not interact, we still all where family.. I was not a good father to Andrew in his early childhood… I had my demons that distracted me.. Fortunately Andrew had many teachers, mentors and family influences. Of course it goes without saying his Mom Amy shaped him from baby to boy to man... But there was Chuck and MaryAnn, Diane Angie and Austin and many others He had a very strong bond with his little brother Aiden who he loved deeply. Aiden loved his big brother and Andrew found joy in sharing his insight and understanding that being the big brother brought. Andrew also had a very strong father figure in his step father Andre. Andres love of cars and mechanics rubbed off and Andrew as they worked on his Galaxy together. It would play a big part on Andrews's decision to pursue work where he got his hands dirty. Andrew also had strong relationships with his Aunts Shannon and Joanna. I feel that Andrew viewed them as a safe haven to turn to when he struggled with a girl or a friend…. I don't want anyone to feel left out of this, the fact is so many played a part I could never name them all…. I really did not come into Andrews's life in a significant way until about 2001…. Not yet a teenager he had many questions about his dad. We spent more time together the longer I was in Washington.. He would come spend Saturdays with me and we would scour the pawn shops from Tacoma to Everett looking for treasures… I always thought it was "our thing" It wasn't until years later when Andrew was a grown man that he told me he hated going to the pawn shops, that it was so boring to drive miles and miles to make a quick walk through of this dirty stinky store… But he never told anyone because what was important was we where together….



When Andrew was about 13 I got him a little Honda motorcycle… The little 80cc bike was already really too small but Andrew thought it was magical… There was no place really for him to ride it and at the time I didn't even have a place of my own so I kept it at Pacific Industrial where I worked.. We would close early on Saturday and after everyone had gone Andrew would ride that thing around in circles till I made him stop… Hours and hours just going round and round happy as can be… At 14 I sold the bike because it was just too small and I told him I would get him another one…. Just a few weeks ago Andrew was on my case saying "Hey, You still owe me that Motorcycle!"



Andrew worked with me from around 12. He could weld by 13 and was running heavy equipment shortly after. He loved to drive the forklift… I can remember him so eager to just move things around for no reason… I tried to explain that it didn't really make sense to just move things to move things… he didn't care.. So I would place two stacks of pallets on opposite sides of the yard… He would take the top one off of one stack and move it to the other pile till they all were in the same place, then he would move them back. Since that time I have caught Andrew teaching people to drive my forklift in the same way, passing on the skill he found…. As Andrew got older his projects became more complicated. He made knifes for me as well as a little rack to put them in. He took on phases of my projects like cutting the parts and grinding the edges.. He was happy just to do the grunt work… He took pride in simple things done well and you could always tell he cared about what he did. Andrew made plenty of mistakes, But almost never made the same one twice. Andrew became a blacksmith. He wanted to master metal. He saw the possibilities and he had a natural knack for working with iron and steel. I took great pride in Andrews abilities. I told all of my metalworking peers that it was only a matter of years before Andrew would pass me by. That wasn't just something I said, It was true. Many of those same people commented on how impressed with where with Andrew. One email stuck out in my head so I thought I would try and find it… I did a search for " My Son Andrew" in my mailbox since that's how I always referred to him, Not just his name. I got 772 matches so It took a bit to find the one I was looking for but I did.. It was from a fellow named Bob who runs a waterjet shop on Vashon Island. I had sent Andrew over to deliver some material and pick up some parts. The note he sent me was indicative of how people felt about Andrew.

It said "Larry you've raised a fine son- Andrew ask more intelligent questions than just about anyone else who has visited the shop and is polite and articulate to boot. It was truly a pleasure working with him today"



By the time he was 30 he would have been far beyond my current skill level. I think Andrew found his calling working in the shop. He immersed himself in learning the trade. He attended metalworking functions and became enamored with the craft. We made plans of becoming partners, rather than being son working for father we would work side by side each with our own projects and share in the load. I also think Andrew would have been just as happy doing anything I did… If I would have been a woodworker or a plumber I think Andrew would have wanted to join me and "learn the family biz" as he put it.



Unlike me there was so much more to Andrew though than his work life. Andrew made time to spend with family and friends. He wanted to take time to camp and fish. He enjoyed just exploring the country side. He has made several trips back to Idaho to visit family and fell in love with the area. He has always visited but in recent years I think Idaho started calling to him. He told me many times that Seattle was not where he belonged, That Idaho felt more like home even though he had never lived there. I can remember the first time I took Andrew fishing. I don't remember how old he was but not very, Not more than 5 or 6… We went out to Oster ponds just outside of Hagerman, It was Andrew and I and a few others… He didn't like the worms and was scared of the water… I thought it was a bad idea, that maybe we would go do something else.. But then he caught a fish… A little Blue gill and his eyes got wide… He danced around like a kid on fire… He was a little scared to touch it but you could see he was in love.. He didn't want to take it home, just put it back and watch it swim away… He smiled his big kid smile the rest of the day, talking about what it was like to see that little blue gill hop and jump around… I have no doubt that when he got home to his mom it wasn't Grandmas house or a visit with his dad that was the first thing to pass his lips.. It was that little fish and its crazy dance. When Andrew became a young man he spent time sitting on many a bank or pond. I think most of what Andrew loved about fishing could be summed up in just a few words, Peace and beauty… Andrew asked me many times to go fishing with him after that but I never went… I was always too busy to take time for such silly things. Always things that seemed more important… How wrong I was.



Andrew was more than a metalworker or a fisherman though. Andrew first and foremost was a friend. Andrew developed deep relationships with those in his life. He was the go to guy in your time of need. It didn't matter if you needed help or needed a kind ear Andrew was your guy. I took for granted how important our friendship was as I am sure many others did as well. I never really thought of Andrew as my friend. I thought of him as many things of course a son and employee to name a few… But I can tell you out of all the things he was, a friend is the one that will leave the biggest hole in his absence. I feel lucky that at least over the last few years we spent more time together than we did apart. We worked together, eat together and played together. I think we made up for much of the time I missed when Andrew was young. We shared a bond that only father and son know. I know a handful of Andrews friends. Atounchee , Vanessa and Chris have all spent time working in my shop on various projects with Andrew… Sometimes on things for me, others their own endeavors. Many others have stopped by for a quick visit. What I know of Andrews friends suggests to me that Andrew was a good judge of character. Other than people his own age Andrew also made friends with people you would not expect. Recently he spent a lot of time with my friend Austin riding motorcycles, Austin has 6 kids all older than Andrew but I don't think age mattered much…





The truth of the matter is I don't need to stand up here and tell you what a great guy Andrew was… Just look around at all the people who he affected, that he touched. I am but one of the lives in his grand story. There are dozens of folks here who could recant the same virtues and praises with their name in place of mine but tell the same story… That we are here to honor an exceptional young man.

Remember that what we say here today is only an inadequate expression of what we carry in our hearts for Andrew. The words are insufficient and meaningless compared to the true feeling which I can't find the words to express…



I have been struggling to find my way in the world since Andrew left. But I think Andrew will find his place. I think there will be a special place for Andrew on the Blacksmith crew in Heaven. Andrew probably will show up late to work and want time off to go fishing… But he will be happy working on St Peters gates and he will make new friends to keep him company until we are there.



Andrew…. I am so proud of you, I will remember you always and forever.



Your pop....
 
Iron:

Your spirit and soul is strong and well. I cannot imagine what you went through. A good friend of mine took his own life 14 years ago, for whatever unknown reason. His son and my son were best friends, we fished, hunted together and were great friends. I still deal with this all the time.

Your own out look will keep you going...and it is one foot in front of the other, every day. You speak of a black hole, I have been down in that hole too, for other reasons....the top of it looked a very long ways at times, but being out of that hole for the last 22 years is a damn good thing.

My best to you, peace in your life and for your family..and the best of the future for you as well, what ever direction you go and however you get there.
 
Well, I know what you mean but they are not Fiat. Fiat means "by decree" or "Arbitrary Order" Paper money being only worth something by the government saying it is. Silver is primarily a industrial metal in today's world, most of what has existed and been mined has been consumed. It does have a secondary market as a monetary metal but if there was no monetary demand it would still have value. Gold may not have as many industrial uses, but it has been money for 5000 years. It will be money after the dollar is no more. There is only so much of either, it cant be printed and brought into existence by the stroke of a bankers pen.

Gold and Silver can be part of what you hold with your excess wealth. It should never be the first thing you buy. Its what you buy when you have everything else covered and something left over. Real property of any sort, anything that is not paper money or numbers in a computer.
IronMonster, I think you covered that pretty darn good, and I agree. Question to you President Roosevelt, executive order #6102, April 5th 1933, on the confiscation of gold. Do you think that people who purchase gold today, have any idea of the past history of the confiscation of gold. Kinda makes you wonder! P.s. IronMonster, Thanks for sharing some of your life, you made me cry.
 
I dont think the majority of people under 40 have any real understanding of the role gold used to play in the worlds money system. The 33 gold confiscation was not about taking gold from the people, it was about taking away real money so they could attempt monetary experiments. It was about devaluing the dollar by 40% overnight and trying to spark inflation. The reason why they had to take the gold from the people is because if they held the gold, which was money at the time, then there was no way to arbitrarily reset the price of gold in relation to the dollar. Basically what Roosevelt did was create 75% more dollars for the same amount of gold. It was the QE of the day and was intended create a flood of liquidity to help get money moving again.

It also put all the "real" money in the hands of the government so it could be used in a manor that they thought would bring about recovery. Gold WAS money, the only real money. Even the paper money of the time was just a claim on gold. So by taking all the MONEY and issuing PAPER the government created the largest single transfer of wealth the world had ever seen. It then directed this new found wealth in massive programs to jump start the economy. In my opinion Roosevelt's policy's where complete and utter disasters. He was the beginning of the socialist trends that have continued to this day. I absolutely believe that the great depression would not have been so great if Roosevelt had not got his way. In 33-35 it could have went either way. With sound fiscal policy I think we would have pulled out and been in reasonable shape, however Roosevelt took money where it would have done the most good, with the people and put it where it would do the least good, the government.

Today since money is not backed by anything they can just create it out of thin air there is no need for them to confiscate private gold. The FED can print all the money they want and buy gold with it if they so choose, no different than them printing money to buy toxic mortgages and equities like they have been doing for the last 6 years
 
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I dont think the majority of people under 40 have any real understanding of the role gold used to play in the worlds money system. The 33 gold confiscation was not about taking gold from the people, it was about taking away real money so they could attempt monetary experiments. It was about devaluing the dollar by 40% overnight and trying to spark inflation. The reason why they had to take the gold from the people is because if they held the gold, which was money at the time, then there was no way to arbitrarily reset the price of gold in relation to the dollar. Basically what Roosevelt did was create 75% more dollars for the same amount of gold. It was the QE of the day and was intended create a flood of liquidity to help get money moving again.

It also put all the "real" money in the hands of the government so it could be used in a manor that they thought would bring about recovery. Gold WAS money, the only real money. Even the paper money of the time was just a claim on gold. So by taking all the MONEY and issuing PAPER the government created the largest single transfer of wealth the world had ever seen. It then directed this new found wealth in massive programs to jump start the economy. In my opinion Roosevelt's policy's where complete and utter disasters. He was the beginning of the socialist trends that have continued to this day. I absolutely believe that the great depression would not have been so great if Roosevelt had not got his way. In 33-35 it could have went either way. With sound fiscal policy I think we would have pulled out and been in reasonable shape, however Roosevelt took money where it would have done the most good, with the people and put it where it would do the least good, the government.

Today since money is not backed by anything they can just create it out of thin air there is no need for them to confiscate private gold. The FED can print all the money they want and buy gold with it if they so choose, no different than them printing money to buy toxic mortgages and equities like they have been doing for the last 6 years

Deal is what they are doing does away with real math, it all doesn't add up and they don't care if it does. We are trillions in debt and adding more debt every second, we are bankrupt. Our system is run on pure lies so when they say " full faith and credit of the USA" it's all BS. Every country in the world sees this and is turning away from the dollar, it is happening as we speak.

http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2015-...more-washingtons-allies-defect-china-led-bank

Our whole system is a lie, from job numbers to the stock market. People won't face up to it cause then the economy crashes and the USA burns so we keep living the lie. What happens next?
 
Personally I hope it doesn't hit in my life, most likely it will but in my short life on this planet Ive noticed things rarely go the way I think they will. So I have my contingency plans, but I enjoy every day as the gift that it is. No matter how bad things may be now, a major collapse will only make the stress worse. If the demons in the night are taking all your joy from life there are professionals to help you through it, they're good, they help, use them.
 
Keep in mind that since the Obamanation Germany and England have demanded their gold back, they were told it would take at least 7 years to hand it over.
Texas University mean while has over a Billion in gold and TX said it was prepared to issue it's own gold currency (as collectable gold coins)
 

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