Significant other onboard?

[rodell]

One way is to set a don't ask, don't tell limit for each person. The amount depends on your personal circumstances.

All good suggestions here, but every couple has to find their own solutions that work for them. You are not on a good path, though. You'd better get this one worked out, along with other hobbies, kids, time with your friends, etc.

 

[Dell_dude]

Keeping finances separate is one way to eliminate 90% or marital arguments.

I buy what I want when I want. So long as I can afford it, that's all that matters.

 

[Bunny]

First, congrats.

If she's straight up telling you what you can and can't do with YOUR money right now before you're married, run away.
If she's SUGGESTING you save because you have bills and wedding crap to consider in the budget, maybe hold off until that stuff is paid for? Those things get expensive and prioritizing is key.

If you want her to ease up and be ok with your hobby and purchases:

- Be responsible with your money in general. It shows her you can be trusted with shared funds and you won't scare her every time you buy a toy.
- Include her. Take her shooting sometime. If she likes it, maybe she'll want a gun or two and there ya go, more guns for everyone haha.
- Make sure you aren't stifling her hobby.
- Be fair to each other. If she has a million shoes and handbags, and you never get anything, I agree with pointing it out in a nice way.
- Explain the investment in it.
- Be patient and understanding. Marriage can be overwhelming, and I bet the last thing she's worrying about is you having enough guns.
- Most importantly, don't be a jerk about it. It won't get you anywhere.

I'd be careful about just doing whatever you want with shared money. If you're smart you'll talk about it with her before you do it. Especially if she handles the bills. If it's solely your fun money, I say do whatever you want with it. If all else fails and she just doesn't like your hobby for the sake of it and doesn't accept that it's part of the packaged deal of marrying you, find someone who does. GL

 

[VW_Factor]

If its important to you, and not important for her.. You'll later down the road run into problems about it.

Do you feel strongly enough about her, to deal with said problems in the future?

 

[Nosrac]

My wife doesn't say anything about it since she doesn't really care enough to ask. Now if she asked for the safe combination and actually looked to see what's in the gun safe it would probably be a different story. She would still have a tough fight on her hands since I can name tons of crap around the house that we didn't need and would have to sell at a garage sale to get a few cents on the $100's of dollars. Not so with the firearms. It helps when your son is into firearms too. It tends to ease any concerns about new equipment purchases. I'm not saying to have kids right away though. That will definitely put a stopper on purchases for a while.

 

[brianjronk]

I'm not wholly keen on the keep finances separate thing. At the beginning of every month, we sit down and budget that month's bills, necessities, wants, etc... Bills get paid, things that the entire family needs is next, we put some away in savings, the remaining stuff goes into a "blow" fund that normally gets split between the two of us. Sometimes if she wants something bigger, she gets it, and vice versa, if I want a gun/jeep parts/other cool man stuff, I get it. It's a give and take. I think completely separating finances can force a loss of trust, which is never good.

Also, prove that you can spend money wisely. My wife knows that when I buy something, I'm going to get a good deal, so she's more ok with it.

But this is DEFINITELY something you need to discuss with her before actually getting married. Be generous, don't be demanding. The more demanding you are, the more she'll shut down and want you to have even less.

 

[MarkSBG]

+1 on the allowance thing.

My wife and I have done it since we were married 11 years ago. I NEVER have to worry about the new shoes or clothes. She spends her allowance the way she wants and I spend mine.

My wife also loves guns, but gives me the "enough yet?" look when I show up with new stuff.

 

[jordanvraptor]

I let her buy jewelry, she lets me buy guns. Hard to say which hobby is more expensive...

Every now and then she will see the news and say "They are going to ban AK's, do you have one of those? We better get one now..."

 

[Kimber Custom]

IMO 'Don't ask don't tell' and 'none of your business' doesn't fly in a long term, sucessful marriage. A happy marriage is built on trust and communication.

I would highly recommend looking into Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University program. Financial ruin is at the bottom of a large percentage of divorce. Far better to look the beast (finances; not your fiance ) in the eye and go in with a plan than to just throw it at the wall and see what sticks.

I would also suggest that you find the root of the issue. I'd be willing to bet it isn't really the cost of the gun. Take the time to really listen to her to see what is causing her to be reluctant.

 

[4dogs]

Stay single.

Here's a niche - personal ads in the gun club newsletter???

 

[HappyRoman]

Married 42+Years, and wife really does not like guns, firearms, or violance. She does get the investment value.. specifically a year ago when we sold off some of the collection to help daughter make down payment and closing costs for her new home.. Wife understands, paying bills 1st, and SAVING some every month. It just happens to end up in the safe, in new hardware. Banks are not making investments grow.

If the significant other is not on board now, DO NOT TRY TO CHANGE HER.. YOU WILL LOOSE.. Better to go off another direction then to see HER, who hates guns, HELP YOU SELL THEM AND GIVE HER AND THE LAWYERS THE MONEY.. TRUST ME ON THIS ONE... I Have references to prove it..
sr.

 

[Silver Fox]

Stay single.

Best advice yet.

SF-

 

[elsie]

You might try to find out her reasoning for her statement. A good conversation about why she thinks you have enough and where she thinks you should be spending your money will give you a lot of insight into what the future might hold. Keep it fairly low key and non-confrontational and it isn't as likely to come back and bite you in the *** later.

As long as you are being responsible with your money, you are in a fairly good position. It may be that she would just prefer that you bank it against any future uncertainties or other expenditures, like the wedding, housing, kids, etc.


elsie

 

[pokerace]

The Origin of the White Wedding Dress


A son asked his mother the following question:


' Mom, why are wedding dresses white? ' The mother looks at her
son and replies:


' Son, this shows your friends and relatives that your bride is pure. '


The son thanks his Mom and goes off to double-check this with his father.



' Dad why are wedding dresses white? '


The father looks at his son in surprise and says:


'Son, all household appliances come in white '.

 

[sandman1212]

+1 to the investment idea, luckily my better half knows the value and appreciates it. we spend wisely and have separate accounts. life is good! the next purchase will be for my sons first hunting rifle...her words "Price is not an issue, get him something nice that he can hand down when the time comes"! What a woman!

 

[ApronAmy]

Ok, I'm going to give a girl's perspective...

Before I really knew very much about guns my main sticking point was "Why do you need more than one gun? Don't they all do the same thing?"

Now I know better. Through a combination of doing my own research and having my boyfriend show me how his guns are different (.22, 9mm, compact, ultra-compact, rifle, shotgun, etc.) and explaining what they might be used for (target practice, home defense, concealed carry, really concealed carry, etc.) I began to accept the idea that he might not be crazy for having a few (or more) guns.

I have always believed that the more you know the better off you are. If your fiancee has no idea that a .22 rifle is different than a Glock 19 she might be more resistant to the idea of you having a collection. Try to educate her in the nicest, friendliest, most casual way possible and see what happens.

Good luck.

 

[glockguy]

Just go buy it and put it in ur safe when u pull it out and she comments be like iv had this one. Works with my wife lol. But one thing I do make sure my wife knows is I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize my families well being and I would sell my toys if need be. Like others said they r a good investment.

 

[Mason3379]

Although I am very familiar with firearms and such, I recently found myself engaged. which is not an area I am familiar in. My Fiancé likes guns and understands my interest in them. But when I bring up the idea of a new gun she suggests that I already have too many. Any tips on how to get around this problem. Thanks for your help.

RRRRRRRRRRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!

 

[Redcap]

The Origin of the White Wedding Dress


A son asked his mother the following question:


' Mom, why are wedding dresses white? ' The mother looks at her
son and replies:


' Son, this shows your friends and relatives that your bride is pure. '


The son thanks his Mom and goes off to double-check this with his father.



' Dad why are wedding dresses white? '


The father looks at his son in surprise and says:


'Son, all household appliances come in white '.

Best post in the thread.

 

[mjbskwim]

Just go buy it and put it in ur safe when u pull it out and she comments be like iv had this one. Works with my wife lol. But one thing I do make sure my wife knows is I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize my families well being and I would sell my toys if need be. Like others said they r a good investment.

See,this was used on me before.
Where did that outfit come from?
Oh I've had this for a while
What's a "while"? Hours,days,weeks,months? What's a while?

So y'all with girlfriends/wives to consider,consider this one.
You've had that gun for a "while"