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Significant other onboard?

Discussion in 'General Firearm Discussion' started by Jstrat, Jan 17, 2011.

  1. Jstrat

    Jstrat Everett New Member

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    Although I am very familiar with firearms and such, I recently found myself engaged. which is not an area I am familiar in. My Fiancé likes guns and understands my interest in them. But when I bring up the idea of a new gun she suggests that I already have too many. Any tips on how to get around this problem. Thanks for your help.
     
  2. Glock32

    Glock32 Marion county, or Active Member

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    have her count her shoes, clothes, skin care products or whatever she is into, then talk about too many.
     
  3. You could always pull out a few of them, explain to her why you enjoy them, and then show her what they are worth. My wife is of the same mind, but that didn't stop me from getting four guns last year. Two she told me I could buy, one she bought for me, and one that pissed her off (she was not aware that I was buying it until she saw it in our living room). If she can see that they are an investment as well as a hobby, she will be alot more allowing. I always just told her that when it comes to hobbies, guns may be alot of money out of pocket, but it's not money thrown away.
     
  4. Graffin

    Graffin Oregon Member

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    It's a hobby like any other. She must have known you were into guns before you got engaged. If you're in a place where you can financially afford to acquire a new firearm, she should be okay with that.

    The wife and I are on a budget now, but I still manage to squeeze in gun-related purchases here and there when we can afford it. She also buys luxury items she wants when we can afford it.
     
  5. Hawaiian

    Hawaiian Tigard Oregon Well-Known Member

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    image001.gif
     
  6. Just Jim

    Just Jim Well-Known Member

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    All women understand money. Tell her a collection is money in the bank.

    jj
     
  7. deen_ad

    deen_ad Vancouver, WA Well-Known Member

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    My wife hates guns. We now get an "allowance", she is free to spend hers on what she wants, I can spend mine on what I want. She banks most of her's and I spend most of mine on guess what? But she still asks me "Don't you have enough?

    Unless you keep your finances separate you can't win!

    ----------------------------------------------------------

    The "Trade Rating" is low by 3
    Not everyone posts it I guess.

    Deen
    NRA Benefactor/Recruiter
    WAC member
    SWWAC member
     
  8. deadeye

    deadeye Albany,OR. Moderator Staff Member

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    Well your not married yet and if all your bills are paid and you have enough play money go buy what you want and if she gives you any static go find a new fiancee.
    I dont have this problem with my wife and never have but I have waisted alot of money on scrap booking stuff, rubber stamping stuff, Longenburger baskets, candles, home interior crap and the list goes on...... Just inform her at least you can always sell a firearm to cover an emergency bill if need be but you will have a hard time selling used shoes and purses. Just a word of advice though, always have at least a couple grand in the check book or safe for those emergencies, You dont want to touch your savings acount or sell a gun.
     
  9. Sun195

    Sun195 Pugetropolis, WA Well-Known Member

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    We do the same thing in my household with finances - no problems here.
     
  10. mjbskwim

    mjbskwim Salmon,Idaho Well-Known Member

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    The easy answer is to tell her it's none of her business.

    Then go find a different SO.

    When it comes to your beliefs,only YOU can tell what is right and wrong.If you let someone else (even a SO) tell you different,you will never be happy.

    You need to make these decisions yourself ,then worry about the repercussions.
     
  11. andreys21

    andreys21 Milwaukie, OR Active Member

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    My wife begged me to get a hobby so I did. Now she can't really complain when I plan on getting a new gun. The thing about counting her shoes is a neat idea. Also, i think it's more of a money issue: she's not against you getting a new gun, she's against you spending money on something else other than her. Trust me. Try suggesting buying an iPad after she tells you that you have too many guns and when she shoots that down, say that it was going to be for her. SIGH. She calls me selfish for buying gun stuff all the time, but she doesn't bring up how much I don't mind when she grabs my wallet and goes shopping without asking. A living breathing contradiction. I also do agree with "none of your business." It's a little harsh but if a woman is going to get between you and something you love, she's not for you and she doesn't respect you.
     
  12. PlayboyPenguin

    PlayboyPenguin Pacific Northwest Well-Known Member 2016 Volunteer

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    Stay single.
     
  13. rpatton

    rpatton Graham WA Member

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    Can't help but think this sounds like someone describing an accident. Perhaps you should figure out how that "happened" before you allow her the right to influence your purchases...guns or otherwise.
     
  14. Redcap

    Redcap Lewis County, WA Well-Known Member

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    Listen to the above, OP. You'll be a happier man if you do.
     
  15. mjbskwim

    mjbskwim Salmon,Idaho Well-Known Member

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    Hehehe
    Not sure about that but I did quit letting others dictate what I wanted to do

    And I am very comfortable with my decision.
    Even though I am single
     
  16. KalamaMark

    KalamaMark Kalama Wa Well-Known Member

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    When you find a good gal... This is what you'll hear when you bring another gun home...
    "Hon.. I thought you were gonna buy a new safe before you bought another gun. Where are you gonna put that one? New safe NEXT!"
     
  17. phathom

    phathom Vancouver, WA Member

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    THIS!

    Currently I am the sole breadwiner, so it's actually easier. I make sure all the bills are paid, food is on the table, and she gets her girly stuff she needs/wants, after that I'm free to do with it what I will.

    Before that however, when she was also working, and ever since we got together, we always keep our finances separated. We set aside bills that each of us had to put to, or that each of us paid, while the other paid the rest, same with groceries and household items, after that, her money was hers, my money was mine. No arguments on what we were spending it on as long as stuff got taken care of.

    My best friend and ex best friend have theirs joint with their wives one of them likes it, although he is a control freak and makes her ask permission for her to buy a pack of gum and sets aside an allowance for her, while he does whatever he wants, even though she provides half the income. She is fine with her allowance he gives her being the more submissive type.

    This works for them, however, my other friend has a wife that also brings in half the income, and they also have theirs joint, but they constantly fight about what he/she is buying, and they are always unhappy. He has set aside money in the account for the last year to finally buy his first firearm, and each time, she says, "oh I know you were saving it for that, but we need to spend it on this instead." Even if it is something that is not a "Need" but more of something she "Wants". He's not too happy.

    Just saying, it works well for some people depending on the relationship dynamic, but for no hassles, keeping them separate is the easy way to go.

    You're at the start now, before you get too deep into it, separate them now and both of you will be way happier. It is really hard and next to impossible to try and do this later on down the road.
     
  18. pchewn

    pchewn Beaverton Oregon USA Well-Known Member

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    This works for me: Occasionally mention that you'd like to buy a gun. Buy the gun you want and make sure you invite her to go shooting as soon as you bring it home. If she complains, you tell her you "already discussed it" with her (the occasional mentioning of buying a gun). Now that you HAVE the gun, wouldn't she like to go out shooting -- you know DO something TOGETHER???? She will go once and probably not again.

    Lather, rinse, repeat.
     
  19. USMC1345

    USMC1345 Gresham, OR Member

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    My wife likes guns, and by the end of this year, I'm pretty sure she will like shooting as well. Since she doesn't work, she also doesn't try to tell me how to spend money. Period. I give her a cash allowance, and keep us pretty balanced as far as money spent on our hobbies or interests. I get a new gun and she does too. Or she might choose a day at a spa. $500+ to go soak in a mud bath and what not? Makes no sense to me, but some of my purchases make no sense to her so oh well.

    If your wife or fiance has her own money, I also suggest keeping yours yours and hers hers. My situation is one where my business allows my wife to not work and still have the life she wants. Still, I wait patiently for the day she chooses to work. That would significantly increase our (her) income, and remove any guilt I feel for purchases, like the new (to me) sportbike I'm planning on getting this week.
     
  20. NK777

    NK777 West of Portland Member

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    Don't ask her if you can buy another gun. Tell her your buying another one and stand your ground. If she can't handle that you don't want to mary this one I assure you. New guns in my family are always an issue FWIW. I used to just buy them but that pissed her off. So I tried asking her what she thought. Her answer was always no which pissed me off. So I decided since she stated that she wanted to be involved in the purchase that I would start telling her that I was going to buy another one. I bend a little still admitedly, I usually have to make a deal with her. I don't think either of us like it but I get my gun and she shuts the heck up about it.