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A twilight zone story is a situation or conversation that you found yourself part of, that had you wondering what was going on. Is this Candid Camera? An alternate reality? Have I lost my mind?

One of mine:

Back in the 1989s I lived in SE Portland. One day I asked my wife "Have you seen any mail recently?" She had not

Our place was a typical SE home with a front yard and a waist high chain link fence. The mailbox was on the front porch.

I went to the post office at Creston Station and inquired about the matter. I was informed that my mail service had been discontinued because there was a large dog in the yard and they were holding my mail at the post office.

I suggested that it might have been a good idea to let us know first. The man behind the counter replied "We sent you a post card about it". When he handed me the accumulated mail sure enough, there was the post card. When I tried to point out the illogic of this I was met by a dull stare and a repetition of "we sent you a post card", "yes, here it is" I replied.

I went around in this manner for another minute or so and then gave up.

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Sometimes when I'm in town and in a busy place where there are multiple groups of people and none of them are speaking English, I wonder if I've been sent into some alternate reality.

Hearing Russian, Spanish, and Filipino simultaneously while thinking WTF in English is a trip.
 
I recently had a one-day assignment in eastern Washington at a little town south of Yakima, called Wapato.

I discovered that all the businesses had Mexican names, and while there, I was the only Caucasian person I ever saw. The clerk at the grocery store ("Carcineria Los Amigos") did not speak English, at all.

It was kind of like visiting a foreign country by just driving 30 miles south of I-90.
 
While in France I learned that French junk yard guard dogs don't understand English, and while being chased down an alley and eventually getting bitten, I realized that speaking English to it just pizzzed it off all the more.
 
Last Edited:
True story:

I was at Baltimore airport waiting for a flight to come in so I could pick up the passenger and head south to Brandywine MD.

Flight was delayed so I decided to go around the corner and get something to eat. I only had a couple dollars so the Wendy's dollar menu sounded appealing.

I placed my order. 1 chili, cheese and onions, a small fry and a float.

The guy be hind the counter looks at me and says "coo, wha choo want in dat?"

Umm, ice cream?

"Nah man I mean, whut yu want in dat?" He repeated.

Puzzled I looked around really quick for hidden cameras. I didn't see any so I said again.... Ice cream?

"Nah man, like wut yu want IN int?" He repeated again.

I still was not understanding his section 8 dialect or I was failing to understand what he was questioning....

After I looked at him yet again with a "WTH are you talking about...?" He got the hint and said "like man, what pop do you want init?"

So I replied to the ONLY soda that goes into an ice cream float.. "Oh, what soda do I want in with the ice cream? Root beer?"

Then he blew my mind by saying "yeah, a lot of people get it that way....."

Wth? So I politely informed him that it would be a good idea to ask the people right from the start because the vast majority of people assume that an ice cream float comes with root beer and it would help alleviate the confusion later on.

I still think I was on a hidden camera show.
 
Once I was in the South and the waitress asked me "Yawl wansum conebreyad?". I had no idea what she was saying for quite a while.. she might as well a been talking bird or something.
 
On my 20th birthday I was walking in downtown Portland and stopped to watch a construction crane lift an I beam up to the top floor of a new building.
A guy walking by stopped and asked me for a match to light his cigarette and after a few minutes of conversation he told me it was his birthday (he was 21) and coincidentally we both had the same first name.
 
OK, I'll play... I was waiting in a chow line in Kuwait, and an Australian soldier with a Steyr AUG tapped on my shoulder, so I turned around and he said: "Ay bloke, ay! Copsa wubby in the blubby, yeah?", to which I responded "umm... yes?"

To this day I still have no idea what he might have been saying, they do speak english in Australia, yes?
 
While stationed in Berlin I got a hankering for something other than army chow. Saw a Chinese restaurant and ducked in.
A very beautiful Asian gal comes over to my table and asks in flawless German , with a Berlin accent no less , what I want to order.
It was very trippy to hear that out of that gal.
I guess it make sense , it was Berlin what else should she speak? But wow! ...
Andy
 
My wife is from Portland Vancouver and has the hardest time with accents - English or foreign.

I've traveled since I was very young and have almost no problem at all with accents - the twilight zone I generally go to is where I understood every word and the rest of my group looks at me like I speak 40 languages (I jest speek engrosh) and to please inturpite what was just said:D.

Living around Portland for a very long time has deadened my since for the weird.
 
When I was 19 I was working a customer service job and this guy came in to our store quickly I found out from his accent he was from NY/NJ area.
I started in with my usual "how are you?" "What brought you in today?"
You know, offering customer service.
And he looked like I called his momma a whore.
He get aggressive, and yells "whater yah a bubblegum or something?!"
Taken back, I was just like "No Sir, just being welcoming"
And he blasts back, "NO your being too nice, you sound like a homo"
I seriously thought this guy was going to punch me in the face. So a little irratated, I said, "look Sir, I get paid to be nice to you. I'm not gay, I just have to be nice to you. Welcome to the West Coast"
He kinda laughed and was cool after that.
 
I saw a real live UFO once.

Yep, I was sober and I am convinced there is no rational explanation.

I had stepped outside my house late one night, 2AM? (about 25 years ago) in Twin Falls Idaho. This thing rolled over the top of the house, literally. Kind of long football shape spinning on its long axis. It was huge, like a mile long and low. I could clearly see individual lights and the surface of the thing. It was completely silent, took maybe 20 seconds to pass over. When it was directly over me it took up most of the sky.

This was not like some far off light that "could" be something. It was right there, you could see it, see details.

There is no sensible, rational explanation for it. Something I would never believe if I had not been standing under it. I have never heard of anything else described similarly.

I dont know what it was, but it defiantly freaked me out. Ive watched the sky pretty close ever sense and never seen anything "unexplained"

Not something I talk about because it just sounds nuts, but it really happened.
 
When I was 19 I was working a customer service job and this guy came in to our store quickly I found out from his accent he was from NY/NJ area.
I started in with my usual "how are you?" "What brought you in today?"
You know, offering customer service.
And he looked like I called his momma a whore.
He get aggressive, and yells "whater yah a bubblegum or something?!"
Taken back, I was just like "No Sir, just being welcoming"
And he blasts back, "NO your being too nice, you sound like a homo"
I seriously thought this guy was going to punch me in the face. So a little irratated, I said, "look Sir, I get paid to be nice to you. I'm not gay, I just have to be nice to you. Welcome to the West Coast"
He kinda laughed and was cool after that.
I've been around cause of the business world I roll in. There's some decent NE folks, and some real wastes of skin.
Nothing's beats folks from the south and Midwest.
 

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