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Serious Opinions Needed

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by RVTECH, Dec 1, 2011.

  1. RVTECH

    RVTECH LaPine Well-Known Member

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    I am in the process of getting ready to move - all the way from LaPine to Bend as I need to be closer for the benefit of my teenage daughter who is involved in everything IE. school, sports, job as junior staff at the B & G Club, volunteering for everything and the drive is becoming too much for her - she just started driving last year. Anyway I am having a little problem getting rid of things. It seems the older you get the tighter you want to hold onto things, even those that mean nothing and you have not looked at or even touched for years. Books are a big issue for me. I have many I read often (I read every night before bed) but I have had them forever and it is just redundancy at this point. Obviously I do not have a problem with knowing what I AM going to keep (basic home items, tools, reloading stuff, shop equipment, welders, lathe and other 'hard' items) but it seems the hardest part is the small stuff that makes the least sense to keep. I need some 'pep' talk here from anyone who may have experience dealing with this slight psychological problem I may be dealing with. I did not have this problem the last time I moved (2004 from Prineville to LaPine) But I have acquired a lot of stuff since then. Understand I am not a 'hoarder' with outbuildings full of American Pickers dream stuff but just someone who needs a shove in the right direction. Thanks for the help.
     
  2. Mutoman

    Mutoman North Bend Active Member

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    Think about how important those things will be when you are on your death bed...that should put it into perspective.
     
  3. Navvet

    Navvet Lynden, WA Active Member

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    Just because you are paranoid doesent mean people arent after you.
     
    hammertime and (deleted member) like this.
  4. teflon97239

    teflon97239 Portland, OR Well-Known Member

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    Rvtech, I congratulate you for the adjustments you are willing to make in order to enrich your daughter's wonder years. She'll be up and out all too soon, equipped with the experiences you provide for her now.

    We all have elements of the picker and hoarder in us. I've struggled hard with owning a home that my mom and artist father filled with memorobilia for 50 years before I bought it. Photos, movies, watercolors, furniture, kayaks, bikes, guns, knives, swords, spears, drums, fiddles, sculptures, easels, tools, appliances, cameras and of course books. Combined with nearly 60 years of my own hobbies and "collecting," I'm jammed up here, every room is a crazy museum - and a trap.

    Like you, I agonize daily over what must go and what simply cannot. My sweetheart helps when she sees me waffling over something that any sane person would sell or toss in a heartbeat. "You'll always have the memories." She's right. H*ll, if I don't, then who really cares anyway?

    Regarding your books and treasures, think about who else might benefit from them. If you need to replace something later, then do what you must and know why.

    Here's something cool I'm getting into incrementally. It feels good to see things leave and the space open up. It really does. Categorize some lower priority things and get 'em out. Sell 'em, gift 'em, donate, recycle, whatever. It can be quite satisfying.

    Will either of us ever end up chanting "ohm" over a single gun, a guitar and a ricebowl? Hardly. But take some baby steps my brother and see how liberating it feels when you're no longer owned by something unused that you drug with you into your last 4-5 homes.

    Be strong and shed something every day!
     
  5. doubletap007

    doubletap007 Beaverton Active Member

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    i used to keep everything,i thought i would use it someday and sometimes did but it used to tick my wife off.
    i grew up pretty poor so i wanted to keep anything i worked for.
    i used to like my house full of furniture and plants and pictures everywhere,it felt cozy!
    but i started doing hardwood floors about 10 years ago and would go into these huge homes and noticed they were very simple,just a couch,coffee table,tv,and maybe a plant or two and noticed how the wide open space was really kind of nice and it felt simple so i started thinning out all the shelves and entertainment centers and whatnot and i gotta tell you,it does feel nice to have the space and just the things i need around me(even got rid of the wife)lol.
    i tell my daughter if you havn't used it in 6 months it's garbage!
    live in a motel room for 2 months and you will learn that there is really very little you need around you,it changes the way you spend your time even,i found i was more likely to go hang out with people since i had nothing in my motel room where before i would always have things to occupy myself.my new home has just the basics and its easy to clean and the most cozy i have ever been.
    good luck with your move and the time with your daughter is worth more than any of the crap you keep around.
    doubletap007
     
  6. Father of four

    Father of four Portland, Oregon Well-Known Member

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    Keep the things you need (Things you use often or may use in the near future.)

    Get rid of the rest. You can always replace them later.

    Make a list of what you let go so you can replace them later if that helps.

    Just start doing it. It want get any easier until you start.

    BTW... MAN-UP. :gun21:
     
  7. Father of four

    Father of four Portland, Oregon Well-Known Member

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    HAHAHAHAHHA.......:paranoid:
     
  8. AudibleEnforcer

    AudibleEnforcer Alabama Active Member

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    I was the same way as doubletap not too long ago. For me, the moment of clarity came when I was going through my shop looking for an old bass eq, when I found a box. That, in itself, is unremarkable. But what hit me was that I had been moving that box from house to house to house to house (yes, 4 moves) in the past 6 years, and I had absolutely no idea what was in it.

    When I went through the contents, it was crap. Pointless receipts, spent lighters, plastic parts and pieces from various things that I kept meaning to fix, etc.. It dawned on me that if I didn't nip this crap in the bud, I was going to be a miserable old fart, who would never pass along that prized possession to a grandson, and therefore, most likely never pass on simple advice, either.

    There's a very good reason the saying exists, "The things you own, end up owning you."

    Not sure if you're a man of God or not, but if you are, remember that Jesus himself told the rich young ruler to "You still lack one thing. Sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me." (Luke 18:22) /end of sermon.

    Throwing away things like you're trying to definitely hurts...at first. But trust me when I say it's truly liberating to be free of all that. Losing my job and selling everything I own has been an invaluable lesson in this area of my life. Let me know if I can be of any help.
     
  9. bnz43

    bnz43 eugene Active Member

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    if you think of it this way, you don't own the stuff ,it owns you. It makes it easyer to tossed the "no needs". You will be Shocked at the amount you don't need. Have fun . bnz43 out...
     
  10. Tangent123123

    Tangent123123 Battle Ground Active Member

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    If you haven't used it in the last year or two then it needs to go. You keep telling yourself "I might need this some day.". Trust me, "some day" never happens, it's just more clutter in your garage.

    Besides, if you get rid of a lot of it, you make more room for newer stuff!
     
  11. Key-Hay

    Key-Hay North Carolina Active Member

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    My motto was never sell a gun that shot good or a guitar that played good. Got involved with Cowboy Action shooting (Kinda expensive to get into) and found myself taking a close look at why was in the safe. Sold 2 firearms I thought I'd never get rid of and actually feel good about it.

    As a (Pastor) friend of mine always would say...It's not your stuff, It all belongs to the big guy upstairs. Were just the custodians.

    If the books are a big deal, Get a Kindle. That way they'll all fit on your nightstand. My wife uses an iPad.
     
  12. Mookie

    Mookie Eastern Washington Active Member

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    If I haven't used it in one year it goes, period. I don't need it. I take after my mother.

    My father on the other hand will not let anything go. When he moved, my mother, brother and I made special "loads" that got sidetracked to the dump, a LOT of stuff got tossed. He never noticed, and if he did he never said anything about it.

    Think about it from another perspective. Your families. They hate your crap, yes, to them it is crap, useless and in the way, taking up space and wasting time. One day you will have to move it all, and it may never leave the box the first time. When my grandmother died we found boxes upon boxes of tupperware and the western family cool whip containers, also, tons of baby food jars. It all went in the trash. Her freezer was a time capsule of freezer food dating back years.

    I bet when it is all gone you not only will not miss it but you will be happier. Plus, when you die your family will have less to stress about knowing your things are in order. In case you think I am being morbid, I am not. I work on estate sales many times a year and the things left behind can stress a family out in a bad time.
     
  13. bruzer

    bruzer Grants Pass, OR Well-Known Member

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    Excellent advice.
    Mike
     
  14. Cougfan2

    Cougfan2 Hillsboro, OR Well-Known Member

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    I really sympathize with you. My wife, God Bless her, is a pack rat (so was her father BTW). I get to the point where I actually get angry when I walk into a room and see a years old pile of magazines, but I have come to realize that the anger only negatively affects me and it is not going to change my wife. She is hard wired to be a pack rat. The biggest sticking point has been the garage. Things just seem to get thrown in there with the idea that "I'll use that some time".

    A couple of years ago I started initiating a process that while it may seem hard hearted to some has actually worked out well. I pick a couple of weekends in the Spring and take a couple of rooms (one is always the garage) and I give my wife a choice. I can clean it out, or she can help me clean it out. I don't care which option she chooses, but it will happen. The jist is, she always helps me and things get cleaned out and the bonus is she is actually happier after it is done. She recognizes the problem, but just needs a good hard prod to deal with it.

    BTW, we are ruthless in what we throw out, MY STUFF INCLUDED. About the only thing I don't throw away are tools, but even then if it was some obscure tool for a one time job it goes. A lot of stuff also goes to Goodwill. No junk as if I wouldn't use it myself I won't donate it to Goodwill. You would be amazed at how much of a tax write off you can get by the end of the year by just recycling old clothes nic-nacs and furniture to Goodwill. As far as books, the local library is always glad to take them. Old magazines go to the recycling center about a mile from our house.
     
  15. coctailer

    coctailer Portland, OR/Hastings, MI/Vancouver,WA I run with scissors.

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    Its just stuff.............stuff can be replaced.

    I say dump it all and stop trying to justify which things you cannot live without.

    I'm doing the same thing right now (not for a move, just to have less "stuff")

    I cant take it with me when I leave this planet, and the most important thing in my life is time with my kids. Period.
     
  16. cowboygraphics

    cowboygraphics Beaverton, OR Active Member

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    Thank you RVTECH for the topic and everyone else for comments. I was going to comment but saw my thoughts already voiced. THEN I sheepishly looked at a box and a stack of gun magazines next to my PC. The box had a mix of small projects and repairs I was going to do "when PC slow/rebooting or taking a break".
    Realizing that I hadn't touched anything in box in 11 months and 20+ days - it was a sort of new years resolution to put near PC - I grabbed the entire box and magazines and ran down to trash and recycle.
    Done.
    Thanx again for the reminder and nudge!
     
  17. rufus

    rufus State of Jefferson Well-Known Member

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    Get a dumpster delivered then get drunk and start "moving". That's what I do.
     
  18. Cougfan2

    Cougfan2 Hillsboro, OR Well-Known Member

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    Without the getting drunk part, that's exactly what we did with our mega garage clean out this Summer. We rented a dumpster for about $124.00 and just started filling it up. Just remember, be RUTHLESS!!!
     
  19. Rix

    Rix Tacoma Active Member

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    Watch a few episodes of "hoarders".
    THAT might very well do it for you.
     
  20. pokerace

    pokerace Newberg Well-Known Member

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    I know the problem well..I still have a motorcycle riding suit and i haven't had a bike for 30 years.have some clothes from the late 70's and early 80's that I cant wear cause all my chest muscles have slipped to my belt line.IT IS TIME TO CLEAN HOUSE..Also have a collection of books that i have read 4-5 times it's time to pass them on...

    PS any body want a collection of Louis L'Amour.... I think every thing he has published including Hopalong cassidy