Reminiscing. (Dog Humor)

[Captain O]

We had a Boston Terrier named Bubba. One summer some years back my wife planted a bunch of strawberry plants and she toiled over them DAILY to get them to produce some nice sweet berries. We were going to pick them Saturday morning, but guess what little black & white bastige grazed through the plants the evening before and ate them... ALL.

I miss that honery little sheite! (FYI- He died of old age, not from an execution.... LOL)

Lucky, he was. Smart, he wasn't!

 

[Captain O]

My Newfy likes to bury food stuff for later, then decides after he digs it up and eats it that it's time for him to give dad a great big slobbering muddy kiss! If you don't know, Neufy's slobber A LOT, sort of like a St, Bernard only a little bigger! He is also known to find the nastiest thing he can and roll around in it, then come trotting in the house like it's all good!!! He LOVES bath time, Neufy's also LOVE water, like a fish loves water, they would be much happier if they had gills, so he knows he is going to get a washin in the creek, I toss on the hip waders and go to work and he is lovin it! I swear this is his way of telling me he wants or needs a bath!!! Just don't let a soaking wet Neufy in the house (the wife found out the hard way) EVERY thing gets soaking wet, The Bed, the Couches, the Recliners, The Carpets, EVERY THING!!!

This teaches the two of you two very important lessons: (1) NEVER let a soaking wet dog into the house. (2) When the Mrs. is around a soaking wet, unrepentant Newfoundland, hide all the razor-sharp implements of mayhem and destruction.

 

[Captain O]

I once received a late night call asking if I could help a river rafting guide row one of his large inflatable rafts down the Deschutes River starting from Warm Springs on down to Maupin.
He had five rafts pushing off first thing in the morning and one of his guides couldn't make it.

I said sure thing and after a nice raft trip to the overnight camp site, I was informed that there weren't enough t bone steaks to go around because the guide thought I was going to bring my own food.

The guy handling the cooking chores jokingly told me in a wise a** way that if I wanted dinner, I should go catch something out of the river.
I managed to borrow a light trout rod and reel and after tying on a grasshopper colored rooster tail lure flung it as far as I could past a dead cotton wood tree that had toppled into the river.
The first cast got slammed by a nice 7 lb Steelhead and by some miracle I got it to shore.

As I was waiting for my turn to use the grill, the cook had just finished serving everybody, but had saved the largest steak for himself. I watched him as he walked away to grab a beer and that was all it took for the head guides black lab to spring into action and snatch that t bone off the hot grill.

The jerk returns and wants to know what happened to his slab of beef. I told him that if he wanted it back he should run as fast as he could because that lab didn't look like he wanted to share.
Off he flew cussing and screaming down to the river and by the time he managed to wrestle that steak back, all that was left was the bone.

That Steelhead fillet was enough for three people but I managed to eat it all while I watched the cook scrap up the last of the baked beans.

Idiot.

 

[mjbskwim]

I had brought my little GSP/ lab mix home about a month or so before this. She wasn't sure about her place yet.
We had this great little Greek restaurant in Lakewood,Johnies.
I went in there quite a bit and they fed me well. So I got the big combo,enough for 2 nights and of course,treats for the dogs.
Uki talking about his newfy,my rot would grumble if I didn't give her a bite soon enough,lol. Well on the way home I stopped to grab a beer. Just walk in to 7/11 and get a beer.
The dogs rode in the back seat so I put the container with the $14 dinner on the floor and slide the seat forward as far as possible.
I come back out and the little girl is cowering down while the rot is giving me the 'this shnit rocks dad! Thanks' look
From then on I got funny looks when I put food bags on the hood when I stopped to get a beer.
Now my friends had a lab malamute mix. 130# dog,acted like an Olof but malamute smart,opened the cabinet doors with child locks on them.
So Mikes got a nice big pork chop on the counter waiting to be fried up. Yeah, Tommy figured wth? and grabbed it. The wife comes into the kitchen to see wtf all the noise is about.
Mike's got his hand down Tommys throat.
You're not gunna eat that now are you?
No but he sure as heck ain't either

 

[Mephistopheles]

Had a black lab and bunch of other stuff mix dog that would respond to any name you called it. Back in the 1970's I used to surf the Monterey Peninsula with Carmel being a favorite spot. I was parked above the beach on a sunny afternoon playing chess with a friend waiting for the surf to come up. We had the side doors of my van open and were sitting on the side when my dog gets up, jumps over the chess board and runs down the beach to where these three teenage girls were sitting on their blankets. My dog went up behind the first girl, lifts his leg and wizzes on her head. The girl jumps up starts shaking her hair. The middle girl sees this and starts laughing at the first girl. My dog moves behind the middle girl, who was not aware of the move, and wizzes on her head. She jumps up and starts doing the same with her hair, shaking it around and jumping up and down. Meanwhile, the third girl who was now aware of the first two is sitting there wondering what the commotion was about. You guessed it, dog went and wizzed on the third girl leaving all three jumping up and down running their hands through their hair screaming. Dog sees his work is done, makes a bee line back to the van, jumps over the chess board and lays there with a satisfied look on his face. Pretty sure he was just bored and wanted to liven up the afternoon.

 

[Capn Jack]

Ahh...You guys and your retrievers..
I woke up one Sunday morning with purring in my ear and a package hamburger alongside my head.
My Calico (the hunter) had found a package of meat defrosting on the counter and she thought I should have it.

 

[ThemGunsThough]

LOL. Nice! One time when I was eating my favorite desert and my daughter was barely 1 year old, I kept the pie in my left hand and set it on my thigh as I was sitting down. I was talking to someone for a few minutes while my daughter was roaming around in front of me. When I lifted up my hand to finish my piece I realized my pie disappeared and my hand was slobbery. Cute baby girl was guilty as charged with pumpkin pie crumbs all over her face.

 

[Medic!]

(Dog Humor?)


Sorry Guys.

My Dog has no ''sense of humor''.

 

[Captain O]

Sorry Guys.

My Dog has no ''sense of humor''.


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Where did you find the picture of my sister-in-law?

 

[mjbskwim]

(Dog Humor?)


Sorry Guys.

My Dog has no ''sense of humor''.


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Such a nice smile!

 

[MrMillspecer]

Now I know where all the beer is going. No wonder there always sleeping.

 

[Captain O]

To all of you that are old enough to remember: "Doctor Ross' Dog Food is doggone good. WOOF"!

 

[Capn Jack]

Took me a while to figure out...BARK! Is the sound of air coming out...

WOOF! is the sound of food going in...

 

[NWGlockgal]

Where's my hamburger?" The other two of us looked at the dog as the dog was smacking his lips.
WAYNO.

 

[marty8587]

my wife and I were at a motel at the coast with our Rat Terrorist "Freddie". WE got up in the morning and Freddie made friends with the older folks Cocker Spaniel in the room next door. The neighbors were making breakfast when Freddie went to visit, climbed on a chair and on the table and ate all their bacon!

Another time I was getting ready to go to work early in the morning. WE had pizza the night before and there were some leftovers, My son was staying in the basement room and had come home late and helped himself to the pizza. He didn't eat it all, and while I was making my lunch, here comes Freddie from downstairs with a big pepporoni slice crosswise in his mouth proud as heck. He checked the basement every morning for the rest of his life.

 

[Capn Jack]

Sharpe & Basinji mix. the only decent picture we have of her.
Thanks to SEA Magazine 2010. As a puppy, she got a piece of glass in her eye and would freak out if a light, or camera were pointed at her. Kacee's motto was, "Miniature Schnauzers taste just like chicken."
The "Life Jacket" served as a handle to fish her out of the water

 

[Certaindeaf]

I had a little Schipperke that'd make huge slices of Flying Pie pizza on the coffee table disappear so fast the only way you'd know is that there was one less slice of pizza. It was like it was magic and no lip smackin after or nothing. I'm talking two seconds and those slices gotta weigh like two pounds.
Anyway, great dog.. I trained him to not go table hoovering with some carefully laid mouse traps. little rascal was slick but I was slicker

 

[Captain O]

(Dog Humor?)


Sorry Guys.

My Dog has no ''sense of humor''.


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Someone could use a shave!

 

[Jamie6.5]

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My ex-boss, the former marine, had a yellow lab he would feed burgers that way. It looked to all the world like that dog was wolfing them down whole. Until just after he swallowed.
Whereupon he would promptly spit out the lettuce. None of us ever figured out how he did that.

 

[BillGabby1]

It takes a different kind of person to appreciate such a story. I'm still laughing! Thanks!

WAYNO.

When we were running our Vizslas in trials and hunt tests and such, we came in from a run where the other hunter missed several shots and ended up bird less. While unsaddling his horse his dog pissed on his leg and strutted off. I think everyone got that message! But we didn't laugh where he could hear us we were too polite. LOL
Gabby