Reminiscing. (Dog Humor)

WAYNO

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I have a close buddy that's seriously under the weather. I talked to him tonight, and it made me think of one of the many times we were out fishing or hunting, and of the hundreds of memories I have with him, and with so many of our close friends that have always been in the outdoors together.

It's a dumb and boring story, but it makes me laugh.

3 of us were over dove hunting. It was lunch time, so we all had our lunch spread out on the tailgate. One of the fellers with us didn't pack much of a lunch, but he brought a McDonalds burger. It was also on the tailgate, til he yells, "hey! Where's my hamburger?" The other two of us looked at the dog as the dog was smacking his lips. We absolutely lost it. Then the guy that lost the burger was P.O.'d cuz we found it so hilarious. Sometimes, it just doesn't take much to set off a simple person like me.:D

WAYNO.
 
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Thanks for sharing WAYNO.
Dogs are funny, and dumb, and we still love em. Or maybe they aren't that dumb.
One time a buddy and I were duck hunting on Sauvie Island and took a buddies German Wire Hair, Arthur. After a long, unsuccessful day of not much action we were out in the water gathering our dekes when I looked to the shore and noticed Arthur sniffing my buddies jacket. I yelled over to my buddy that I thought Arthur was going to piss on his jacket and sure enough, once my buddy looked up, Arthur, while staring at us, lifted his leg, pee'd on the jacket, and after a couple of long seconds of still staring, went back to the blind. I was laughing my arse off. My buddy not so much.
 
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WAYNO

WAYNO

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Thanks for sharing WAYNO.
Dogs are funny, and dumb, and we still love em. Or maybe they aren't that dumb.
One time a buddy and I were duck hunting on Sauvie Island and took a buddies German Wire Hair, Arthur. After a long, unsuccessful day of not much action we were out in the water gathering our dekes when I looked to the shore and noticed Arthur sniffing my buddies jacket. I yelled over to my buddy that I thought Arthur was going to piss on his jacket and sure enough, once my buddy looked up, Arthur, while staring at us, lifted his leg, pee'd on the jacket, and after a couple of long seconds of still staring, went back to the blind. I was laughing my arse off. My buddy not so much.
It takes a different kind of person to appreciate such a story. I'm still laughing! Thanks!

WAYNO.
 
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Some of the best friends I ever had were the people we shared the end-of-the-day "Camp Stupids" with, from hunting camp(s). Always at the end of a grueling day when/where we were all exhausted (happily) from covering ground hunting, or packing out a downed animal.

Those foibles and minor mishaps and jokes that seemed SOOO funny at the time, but aren't really all that funny when I try to share them with others. But they helped build bonds that have survived the decades since.

But they're always one of those "I guess you had to be there" kind of thing, when you try to explain them to an outsider.
 
My Neufy did a few good ones, When he was 9 months old or so, he decided that My food was his food too, like he some how had a right to any thing I was eating! So I had stopped on the way home and got a Really good burger and all the trimmins to go, for me and the Wife. I had just sat down in my easy chair and was fussin with my fries and what not and suddenly I feel this slight breeze on my hand, I look, and here is Skidder, Very Gently removing my hamburger from my hand! Now picture his expression. Another time, I would crack a cold frosty frothy an sit down to watch a little news, I would set it down and thumb the channels or go get something from the kitchen to snack on before dinner, only to find my Beer had gone missing! Now where in heck did I leave it? In the kitchen? Nope, In the bathroom, Nope, Bedroom, Nope! Scratching my head, I grab another beer and back to what I was doing! Happend several times, Finally the wife caught Skidder steeling my beer and taking it to the office where he would drink it and then stash the bottles under the couch! Never leave a beer unattended at my house, the Neufy will steel any good beer you have, and leave you with that nasty 'Merican Crap!:D
 
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A co-worker was duck hunting with me, over his lab, Chunk! Now Chunk was a very well trained retriever, a true joy to watch and the birds were flying. Great day! So, one of us brought down a bird and my buddy sent Chunk out to retrieve. I commented that it sure was a pleasure to watch him work, when he was passing through my spread and the wind shifted about 180* and one deke swung on its anchor directly by the dogs head! Startled, Chunk nailed the poor deke and actually punched a few holes in its body! Enough that it started sitting tilted on the water! I just gave a perfectly timed, "dogs a bit hard mouthed though!" Chunk did go on to retrieve the duck, without further guidance, and brought it in perfectly soft mouthed! During this whole farce my friend just grunted an acknowledgement to my criticism and turned bright red!
To add insult to injury, when we returned to my house, the wife not knowing that the giant lab was with us, opened the door and let my Doberman Pincher out and the dogs were at it instantly, my bud yelled at Chunk with no success while I quietly called, "Kelly, OUT!" She leapt back, jumped to the door and turned to battle again, if this next thing to a bear tried to enter! I have to give my friend full manhood points. After he called his dog back, he turned to me, straightened up and mumbled, "Thanks for having a well trained dog!" Cost him dearly to say it 'cause he loved ol' Chunk dearly and was very proud of him! I did him the honor of not razzing him after! :)
 
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I had a big brindle mastiff/pit mix named Rudy. While in nearly every circumstance he was well behaved I couldn't keep him from occasionally eating food off the counter. Whipping Rudy's bubblegum didn't work, he was just too big and thick-headed.

One day I took personal size chicken pot pie out of the oven and left it on the counter to cool. I don't know if any of you remember eating those things but right out of the oven they will just burn the hell out of your mouth. I turn my back and a few moments later here a scuttle of paws on hardwood and a muffled yelp. I look back to Rudy grimacing and looking guilty as hell. In true Rudy fashion he ate the thing whole and paid the price.

I was worried that it burned up his insides and could really hurt him or kill him, but he never showed any sign of anything wrong. Two days later he crapped out the paper/cardboard pot pie container and me and Rudy moved on with our lives.
 
My "Other" doggy, My Golden I adopted from my Dad, set the kitchen on fire! Wife had made a nice big pot of thick beef stew and had turned the burner to simmer to let it go on and get that nice SLOW cooked action going on. Bubba took one sniff and was in doggy heaven, he popped up and grabbed the entire kettle off the stove, and hauled it off to under the kitchen table where he and Skidder the Neufy ate the entire meal, problem was, when he jumped up to snatch the kettle, he turned the burner to full and knocked some stuff onto the stove which caught on fire! Luckely I saw the fire as it was starting to get big, and I turned on the sink sprayer and put it out! Talk about guilty looks from doggies, they were both in a heap of trouble when I told the wife what had just happend and that the doggies had eaten her stew! I figures they would both get butchered next and served medium rare. Only reason I know it was the Golden, He left stew covered paw prints at the seen of the crime!:D
 
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My "Other" doggy, My Golden I adopted from my Dad, set the kitchen on fire! Wife had made a nice big pot of thick beef stew and had turned the burner to simmer to let it go on and get that nice SLOW cooked action going on. Bubba took one sniff and was in doggy heaven, he popped up and grabbed the entire kettle off the stove, and hauled it off to under the kitchen table where he and Skidder the Neufy ate the entire meal, problem was, when he jumped up to snatch the kettle, he turned the burner to full and knocked some stuff onto the stove which caught on fire! Luckely I saw the fire as it was starting to get big, and I turned on the sink sprayer and put it out! Talk about guilty looks from doggies, they were both in a heap of trouble when I told the wife what had just happend and that the doggies had eaten her stew! I figures they would both get butchered next and served medium rare. Only reason I know it was the Golden, He left stew covered paw prints at the seen of the crime!:D
You're really lucky he didn't get scalded to death! I'm glad of that!
 

jbett98

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I once received a late night call asking if I could help a river rafting guide row one of his large inflatable rafts down the Deschutes River starting from Warm Springs on down to Maupin.
He had five rafts pushing off first thing in the morning and one of his guides couldn't make it.

I said sure thing and after a nice raft trip to the overnight camp site, I was informed that there weren't enough t bone steaks to go around because the guide thought I was going to bring my own food.

The guy handling the cooking chores jokingly told me in a wise a** way that if I wanted dinner, I should go catch something out of the river.
I managed to borrow a light trout rod and reel and after tying on a grasshopper colored rooster tail lure flung it as far as I could past a dead cotton wood tree that had toppled into the river.
The first cast got slammed by a nice 7 lb Steelhead and by some miracle I got it to shore.

As I was waiting for my turn to use the grill, the cook had just finished serving everybody, but had saved the largest steak for himself. I watched him as he walked away to grab a beer and that was all it took for the head guides black lab to spring into action and snatch that t bone off the hot grill.

The jerk returns and wants to know what happened to his slab of beef. I told him that if he wanted it back he should run as fast as he could because that lab didn't look like he wanted to share.
Off he flew cussing and screaming down to the river and by the time he managed to wrestle that steak back, all that was left was the bone.

That Steelhead fillet was enough for three people but I managed to eat it all while I watched the cook scrap up the last of the baked beans.
 
My Newfy likes to bury food stuff for later, then decides after he digs it up and eats it that it's time for him to give dad a great big slobbering muddy kiss! If you don't know, Neufy's slobber A LOT, sort of like a St, Bernard only a little bigger! He is also known to find the nastiest thing he can and roll around in it, then come trotting in the house like it's all good!!! He LOVES bath time, Neufy's also LOVE water, like a fish loves water, they would be much happier if they had gills, so he knows he is going to get a washin in the creek, I toss on the hip waders and go to work and he is lovin it! I swear this is his way of telling me he wants or needs a bath!!! Just don't let a soaking wet Neufy in the house (the wife found out the hard way) EVERY thing gets soaking wet, The Bed, the Couches, the Recliners, The Carpets, EVERY THING!!!
 
We had a Boston Terrier named Bubba. One summer some years back my wife planted a bunch of strawberry plants and she toiled over them DAILY to get them to produce some nice sweet berries. We were going to pick them Saturday morning, but guess what little black & white bastige grazed through the plants the evening before and ate them... ALL. o_O

I miss that honery little sheite! (FYI- He died of old age, not from an execution.... LOL) :D
 
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I had a big brindle mastiff/pit mix named Rudy. While in nearly every circumstance he was well behaved I couldn't keep him from occasionally eating food off the counter. Whipping Rudy's bubblegum didn't work, he was just too big and thick-headed.

One day I took personal size chicken pot pie out of the oven and left it on the counter to cool. I don't know if any of you remember eating those things but right out of the oven they will just burn the hell out of your mouth. I turn my back and a few moments later here a scuttle of paws on hardwood and a muffled yelp. I look back to Rudy grimacing and looking guilty as hell. In true Rudy fashion he ate the thing whole and paid the price.

I was worried that it burned up his insides and could really hurt him or kill him, but he never showed any sign of anything wrong. Two days later he crapped out the paper/cardboard pot pie container and me and Rudy moved on with our lives.
Suffer, you @$$hole!
 

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