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Family member. we just found out was placed in a center for 28 days over here. Her history is a roller coaster.
Eating disorders
Pain pill usage
Suicide attempts
Compulsive Spender
Compulsive liar
Caused major family issues for all

Her husband makes a lot of money. And they both spend it like water. He has a major short fuse. Everyone sucks but him. Major judgemental person.
He's had the gun to his head also.

Question. She was drinking whiskey. Wouldn't folks around the home smell it?
 
I'm not sure about the smell (not much of a whiskey drinker myself), but that is a horrible situation and I wish your family the best. I hope they both get the help they need, but it sounds like they have a multitude of issues and it may take some time to get to some version of normal. My brother and father both had problems with alcohol and lot of their woes started disappearing once they stopped drinking so I'd recommend focusing on getting that under control first. It'll make the rest of the issues that much easier to deal with.

Good luck and remember change doesn't happen overnight.
 
I forgot to mention, it's always everyone's else's fault. Always....
I also can't imagine how this will effect there 4 kids long term. The kids are the care takers
 
My uncle was a secret drinker... had bottles stashed all over the house. Dad said that everybody knew.

May God's healing grace touch all their lives.
 
It's a understatement to say they are not a good match for each other. She's very very insecure. And he's over the top cocky. I think they should disband.
 
It's a understatement to say they are not a good match for each other. She's very very insecure. And he's over the top cocky. I think they should disband.

Opposites attract. People sense something they are missing. It can work, but it's more often just miserable. IMO a person that insecure needs a stable, caring enviro. It takes more work than a narcissist is likely to give.
 
In answer to the question : "Wouldn't folks around home smell it ?"
Maybe...

One can smell whiskey / alcohol...on another person's breath and or body
But....
In many cases like the one outlined in the OP...
It may be that the alcohol smell is the expected and "normal" smell , so it won't really cause a reaction...
Or...
It could mean a case of willful ignorance / ignoring or "Not wanting to get in to it " with the other person...

In any event addictions , can be difficult to overcome...And when coupled with a less than ideal relationship , just makes it more difficult for everyone.
Andy
 
O5,

Was rehab involuntary?

If so, I see little chance of her getting better because rehab only works if the subject 'wants to get better'.

If she self-surrendered, there's a good chance she'll improve.
 
AFAIK, addictions are driven by damage to the psyche of the young. To repair addiction, this damage must be addressed and healed. From reading the OP, I'm thinking the gal is very damaged, and continues in a damaging relationship. I don't know much about AA, but a new relationship there seems to work in many cases.
 
Was rehab involuntary?

If so, I see little chance of her getting better because rehab only works if the subject 'wants to get better'.

If she self-surrendered, there's a good chance she'll improve.
^^^THIS^^^
How many times have you heard an addict say something like, "I tried rehab but it didn't work... ".

Well, okay... you're doing it wrong. It's not magic and it doesn't "work" or "not work", you have to actually participate and YOU do the work... and you will only do do the job if you really want to.

Best of luck to all.
 
O5,

Was rehab involuntary?

If so, I see little chance of her getting better because rehab only works if the subject 'wants to get better'.

If she self-surrendered, there's a good chance she'll improve.
Not really. They convinced her to go. She's not self surrendering. Unfortunately she's very self destructive
 
I am almost a year sober. I used to drink a fifth of whiskey a night. But I guess no one noticed cause in the Marines everyone smells like whiskey. If you don't drink you have a problem. Kinda a$$ backwards.
 
I am almost a year sober. I used to drink a fifth of whiskey a night. But I guess no one noticed cause in the Marines everyone smells like whiskey. If you don't drink you have a problem. Kinda a$$ backwards.
Congrats on your sobriety. Hang in there, brother. It gets easier with time.
 
These are choices people make. Some say it is a disease, i don't think so. It is a choice you make and live by.
Some people are toxic with very low self control. The indulge in their drugs or alchohol because they choose to. It will never stop until they are ready for the change. They can be placed in rehap after rehap after rehap and it all goes right back to the same bullbubblegum situation.
Unti the person at the bottom of the relationship sees what is and has been happening year after year after year wakes up and walks away there will be no light at the end of the tunnel.
Same schitt/Different day.

It's a sad situation for those in the household that have to put up with with this bullship.

Sounds like someone should pack up and get the hell.out of Dodge and never look back.
 
Rehab can be great, or it can be a speed bump.

Some people KNOW what they are doing and choose to carry on anyway.

Sounds like the family is going to have a rough patch... much of the outcome rests on her ability/willingness to address the underlying problem that drive her to behave that way, her husband will need to have some humbling soul searching himself if there is to be any resolution.

Can only hope they find it, for the sake of the kids if nothing else... its not going to be easy for anyone. A trip to rehab might do the trick, some counseling would be beneficial if they would take it seriously.
 
Thanks. I miss drinking everyday. But it's not worth my life. At least that's what I keep telling myself.

Its hard. Keep it up

I can tell you first hand that excessive drinking WILL kill you.

A couple times a week I go see my brother in the hospital in Portland... he has been there since the day after Christmas.

He is dying. Period.

His drinking damaged his liver to the point of severe cirrhosis. The cirrhosis limited blood flow through his liver, which backed up into the veins around the esophagus... which ruptured causing massive internal bleeding... upon reaching the ER he needed 8 units of blood transfused. Beyond that, his liver can no longer process the ammonia in his system which is sending the ammonia into his blood stream and into his brain where it causes extreme confusion, etc (encephalopathy) ... ultimately leading to a comatose state.

He was in a coma for a week. He has now been in the hospital for a month. He is conscious and mentally aware again but is still bedridden and entering palliative care.

He will not likely see his 40th birthday. Sitting there watching him die, all yellow and distended... his liver is so swollen he looks pregnant, skin and eyes so yellow it looks like he is coated in Iodine.


Quitting is a hell of a thing to do. Be proud of every day..... I have never had issues with addiction of any kind myself, but Ive watched it take a couple family members right before my eyes, and now my own brother..... and for what?
 

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