Qestion about Negative Feedback.....

[SDR]

I'm posting this because I'm so absolutely irritated about the situation I let myself get into for trying to be nice and help...Now I know why people these days are the way they are,At least some of them any way...
To the point....
I loaned a part to a fellow member right here on this site , I will not at this time disclose the part due to if I do people may know who this person is , I'm still trying to be nice and not blab about who it is until I decide what I'm going to do...

To the point....
I loaned the part,Many months ago,Not just a couple,But many... Over the coarse of many months I have PM'd this person requesting my part,Most times no response , It was no emergency at this time So no big deal....Well the few times I did get a response it was just B.S. excuses and promises of getting it to me that never happened...
Heck I even offered to swing in near him to pick up,My request just fell on deaf ears or at least ignoring ones...
I had since come into a trade deal,I let this person know this...Nothing...I let this person know I may loose money...Nothing... I was honest with the guy I was supposed to trade with and explained the deal... I felt my integrity being questioned through out this conversation because this part was advertised in the number of items included , I felt he thought I was fibbing about what was advertised just to get more interest... Long story short,Yes it could be longer...
I made the deal,But it opened the door for the guy to have leverage on getting the price down below the actual worth of the part...

So if the part shows up,Great finally....But now I have no need for it because the Gun is gone,I have suffered a loss all for being nice...

I was raised with the morals that if you borrow something return it in better condition than you borrowed it.... If you break the borrowed item you replace it with a better one....If you can't replace pay way more than it is worth to compensate for the loss and inconvenience...

I still work with your word is your Bond , Without Integrity What do you have...?

Guys help me out here with your thoughts...
Thank You!

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[willseeker]

I have traded with you, SDR, and had a great experience, but it has to go both ways. If I live up to my word then the deal is positive. It takes two to make a transaction end well.

Sounds like you have gone way beyond nice on this one. So the rest of us don't end up with a deal gone south...give him a neg. feedback.


Will

 

[unionguy]

I'd tell him he has 48 hours to have the part in your hands or you'll be leaving the negative feedback. I've learned that you should always start nice and polite, but some people only respond when faced with a sanction of some kind. At least this way you give him an opportunity to avoid it (this is your leverage).

Good luck and please don't let this interaction make you think everyone is untrustworthy, most people are true to their word, in my experience.

 

[TonsOfOregonBrass]

agreed with the negative feedback. I am sorry for you, but save some of us the trouble.

 

[Just Jim]

People need to be held accountable. Why have a rating system if you won't tell the truth? Guys will stand with their deals if they know there is accountability. Turn them in.

jj

 

[Atroxus]

If the property is yours and the person will not return it, can't you call the sheriff's/police office and have them retrieve it for you? Then once you have your property back, leave feedback so others know to avoid teh same situation.

 

[SDR]

If the property is yours and the person will not return it, can't you call the sheriff's/police office and have them retrieve it for you? Then once you have your property back, leave feedback so others know to avoid teh same situation.

If the property is yours and the person will not return it, can't you call the sheriff's/police office and have them retrieve it for you? = Sure I could , But that would be like calling the sheriff's/police office on my neighbor or brother in law for borrowing the wheelbarrow... It is not life threatening,But it sure is irritating...

 

[Atroxus]

If the property is yours and the person will not return it, can't you call the sheriff's/police office and have them retrieve it for you? = Sure I could , But that would be like calling the sheriff's/police office on my neighbor or brother in law for borrowing the wheelbarrow... It is not life threatening,But it sure is irritating...

Imo if the guy has given you the run around for months he probably doesn't intend to give it back at all. To me thats no different than stealing, and personally that is how I would handle it. Thats just my 2 cents though.

 

[SDR]

Imo if the guy has given you the run around for months he probably doesn't intend to give it back at all. To me thats no different than stealing, and personally that is how I would handle it. Thats just my 2 cents though.

He does not strike me as a thief,Maybe absent minded in the beginning because my requests were far in between,Maybe too busy to deal with it , Maybe miss placed it and is running me around until found-?... Maybe he will read this and contact me appropriately...

 

[Gunner3456]

If the property is yours and the person will not return it, can't you call the sheriff's/police office and have them retrieve it for you? Then once you have your property back, leave feedback so others know to avoid teh same situation.

You have two beefs you could claim - either one but not both, and neither would fly. One would be theft and this doesn't meet that test, and the other would be fraud which requires original intent which is hard to prove. You almost have to be able to read someone's mind to prove "intent" when you can't see them do the crime. "Seeing" looks like borrowing here. Theft is carrying away without permission.

If you had made a written agreement with a return date, and rented it to him for $1, you'd have theft of rented personal property. Who would ever bother doing that - if you didn't trust, you wouldn't rent for $1.

I believe that the police would tell you that this is civil - a breach of agreement - and tell you to take him to small claims court.

$.02

 

[dave]

This isnt a Police matter, they are too busy for this nonsense anyway. Take care of your business here. I like that you are giving the individual a chance without calling him out publicly. But now you have the forums attention. If your timely manner expires you have the go ahead to point this out to the world.

Seems more appropriate to police our own. We have a nice system set up just for this sort of thing. Hopefully you wont be turned off to keeping up your great attitude and will be generous as you have been with other members.

 

[OcelotZ3]

Agreed on the small claims court route.

It certainly sounds to me that the person you loaned the part to does not intend to return it. You have offered to pick it up, removing many roadblocks for the person.

The guy is a jerk of the first order, and it would be good for others to know who it is.

Note that for small claims court, the guy gets served by a deputy (often at where he works, if you know that). Pretty embarrassing, I would imagine. Also, he has to pay all the fees involved, plus possible losses on your part during the time he refused to return it. The difficult bit of this would be proving that the part was loaned & not given to him. Emails showing a trail would be good.

 

[SULLY]

Hey big man. What a bunch of crap. You are habds down one of the most honest, trustworthy, and up front people I know. I would have no problem giving the keys to my store, house, and car. I say you have given the guy long enough to return it and I think you should let the cat out of the bag. I know how you feel. I often feel like a stepping mat myself. Let's get your part back and try to maybe help someone else to not get taken advantage of by this guy.

Sincerely, Jason

 

[Just Jim]

let him answer to all of us.

jj

 

[PDXGS]

Give them a time window to make this right-someone suggested 48hours and then "out" the SOB
Steping on folks who have gone above and beyond is BS.
Just my $.02

 

[tionico]

LE will not "go and get your stiff back", not their job, unless stolen, which does not seem too be the case here... as described above. However, they WILL respond and "stand by to keep the peace' while YOU confront the present possessor for its return. I've had to call them a time or two for this purpose. Nothing quite so intimidating as seeing a LEO, in full dress and armed, standing there while I ask the guy pretty please to return my named property.

That said, I'm in favour of us policing our own... community responsibility is far better than outside imposition of responsibility under duress.

SO-- I'd say if the guy who "borrowed" it fails to return it, or allow you to stop by and get it, you need, in the interest of protecting the rest of us from such abuse of trust, to expose your partner in trade. If he's that opposed to doing what appears to be the right thing, we need to know who..... so we don't get trapped the same way by the same guy.

Since eBay has changed their feedback rules, now preventing sellers from giving bad feedback to buyers who never pay, I've cut way back on using them for buying or selling. How can I learn of flakout "buyers" if they can "buy" my stuff, cost me time and money, and I can't tell anyone else 'hey, beware this buyer, does not follow through". How many others will the same creep rip off?

No, feedback IS a critical aspect of any trading situation. Use it, please.

 

[Gunner3456]

+1 on outing him in this thread if the Mods allow it, in addition to the feedback.

 

[SteelyDan]

quote SDR:
"I still work with your word is your Bond , Without Integrity What do you have...?"

Answer:
Apparently your stuff!

Show up at his house or work, unannounced of course. Tell him you are there to pick it up. Try to pick a time when boss/wife/mother is present.

 

[MarkSBG]

SDR,

It's too bad that you have to suffer for being the good guy. Hopefully the guilty party will step forward with your stuff and apologize like a man of honor.

If it doesn't come after this thread, I would assume that it is never coming back and report it as negative feedback.

 

[Trlsmn]

I'm going to try and broker a solution to this as I know the guy from another forum too and he works fairly close to me. I'm confident this can be resolved shortly once I make contact with him.