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People suck.

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by 40calruler, May 9, 2015.

  1. 40calruler

    40calruler Lake Oswego Well-Known Member

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    So again my neighbors are causing a ruckus the other night with the woman screaming to stop being beaten by her boyfriend/husband...who cares..She calls for help every time. Yet once the cops get there it is "her fault" and she does not want to press charges.
    I went over the other night and was about to kick in the door as I heard the beating and banging on the door was getting me nowhere. I do this WAY to much with them. The guy never comes anywhere I can see him when the cops arrive and hides away like the tough guy he is.
    Sadly I live 5 houses down. Every house in between has grown men on their porch listening and watching the house. Doing NOTHING! What kind of man hears a woman scream and does nothing. It may be repetitive but I worry he will kill her someday and there IS a kid in that house.
    So this last time the cops came right when I had enough and was stopped by my wife right about when my foot was going to smash the door. Same old cop walking up. Same old story...this time I hung around and made sure things went OK. I asked my wife to video tape the cop talking as if "there is nothing they can do" they should have no issue with that. Cop was pissed and wife left.
    They brought the guy out in cuffs and he said to me "So you need to cops to mess with me".....This threw me back a bit as he KNOWS I was banging on the door and have many times on my own...he hides. Keep in mind he is a wife beater at about 140lbs. "tough guy".
    When he said that I simply said "the law is I cannot break down your door and do what I would like to do"
    Response "What would you like to do" My response "Well with cops here I will just tell you that they are your savior at the moment. They are taking you away from me. It is not my wish but it is the law. If it was just you and I I have no doubt you would NEVER do it again...one way or another"
    He started screaming I was threatening him and the cop simply said "he just told you what the law prohibits him from doing. That is no threat".
    He went to jail for ONE night and is back. Wont make eye contact and here is the main issue. I AM MOVING in 3 weeks. What happens then? A bunch of "men" watch her get carried out in a bag??!!

    The law does nothing for those like this woman who believes he will change. I know it is her fault to stay but that does not make what he does ok. No charges pressed and no problems for him until next time.

    Bottom line...Am I justified if I know he is truly hurting her to break the door down and stop him? If not any ideas of what I can do? I am at a loss and concerned that nobody will do a thing when I am gone....If you took the time to read all this thanks..I know it is a long bit of drama. Which is why I am moving. And why I am worried to move.
     
    orygun likes this.
  2. 40calruler

    40calruler Lake Oswego Well-Known Member

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    I should add that my feelings may be stronger than other. My mother had a very short term boyfriend who decided to lay hands on her. I called my dad...not the cops. They had divorced but shared custody and got along.
    Dad came over and whooped the guy as you would expect and ex boxer/fireman to do then. Left him in agony and cops came and took him...no questions asked when they saw my moms bruise. What happened to that? People used to know what a bully only quits when someone stands up to them. Handcuffs and a lawyer is not the same as fear of your neighbors right next door.
     
  3. mrblond

    mrblond Salem OR Well-Known Member

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    I would say, if you broke the door down and gave him what he deserves, your going to be behind bars for a while.
     
  4. 40calruler

    40calruler Lake Oswego Well-Known Member

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    I believe that...I will not jeopardize my family but as you said it is what he deserves...just these days not what can be dished out to him. Yet he can beat on a woman and I can only intervene until the cops get there. What kind of system is this BS. He should get "what he deserves" Yet nobody in the system gives a damn. Long as she is scared of him she knows he "will just get out of jail and do it again".
    I am moving as I can not tolerate this and other activity around me. I only know that I have learned that these people get to "feel tough" and beat on a little girl and get away with it. Happens all the time. Yet we as neighbors have to sit back and allow it. Years ago I would not be the only man running over there. Years ago men had enough respect for themselves to do the right thing. Now men would lock me in jail for kicking the a holes teeth in when he damn well deserves worse.
     
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  5. Joe13

    Joe13 NW of Vancouver Opinionated & Blunt Bronze Supporter 2015 Volunteer 2016 Volunteer

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    Unfortunately, the law and what's right aren't always on the same page (as you obviously know); so I guess if it were me I'd be asking these questions:

    Is it worth having an assault charge and the jail time/lawyer fees it will cost to "do what's right"?

    How will that affect your family's income etc?

    Are you willing to risk your firearms rights for one of millions of disfunctional families in the U.S.?


    I'd get as much info on abuse and the programs around that will help people in those situations, wrap it in a package and drop it on the front porch - then leave knowing you've done all you can.

    Just my two penny's
     
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  6. Capn Jack

    Capn Jack Wet-Stern Washington Bronze Supporter Bronze Supporter

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    You say there is a child in the house? What about a call to "Child Protection"?
    If you even attempt to enter the guys house without being asked by the wife, or
    "seeing her in danger", YOU are breaking the law and he could shoot you.:(

    There is often a lot more noise than action in these domestic situations.:confused:
     
    Oregonhunter5 and NoFlinch like this.
  7. 40calruler

    40calruler Lake Oswego Well-Known Member

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    It is good advice. I am not going to jeopardize everything I have worked for over a nothing scum bag that will get his someday by somebody...I have no doubt about that.
    I will however leave a packet as you said on the porch. At least that memory will leave an understanding of the lies and story telling of what is really going on is clearly not believed by the neighbors. I will leave that and leave knowing I did do everything I could. Hopefully someone will continue at least calling that same worthless cop.
     
  8. 40calruler

    40calruler Lake Oswego Well-Known Member

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    She is screaming "help" a lot of the time. That is when I wonder if I am justified. But he runs and hides just by knowing I am banging on the door.
     
  9. mrblond

    mrblond Salem OR Well-Known Member

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    Unless she presses charges, there is really nothing... legally.. to be done that I know of
     
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  10. 40calruler

    40calruler Lake Oswego Well-Known Member

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    The issue with child services is they investigated and as they found no harm being done to the kid...and the woman denied any and all issues claiming the neighbors just had it out for them it was dropped.

    Our system leaves a man to feel if he does not act nobody will. Yet he cannot for the sake of his own family. I need to keep them safe more than that family. Being in jail would only put a pause on this one guy. It would change nothing in the long haul.....YET it would feel so good in the moment. I would not do it for the sake of my family but if I was a bachelor hearing this I think I would be posting this from jail for beating that guys punk A%$
     
  11. oli700

    oli700 Rogue Valley Well-Known Member

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    forget him and concentrate on helping her get out if you really think she is going to be carried out in a bag.....you might get further or at least feel better if you come to the conclusion she is making her own bed instead of being trapped.....some people got to have that turmoil in their lives for some reason
     
    NoFlinch likes this.
  12. bolus

    bolus Portland Gold Supporter Gold Supporter 2015 Volunteer 2016 Volunteer

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    by my estimation, the world is made of about 80% douchebags and 20% outstanding good people with honor. Even if you could be batman and spend your life bringing justice to these people, you would barely get through your own state in your lifetime, let alone the world.
     
  13. 40calruler

    40calruler Lake Oswego Well-Known Member

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    Agreed. Some people thrive on drama in their lives. I will never get it but it is true without a doubt. She has to choose if she wants to live that way...I do know that.
    Mostly I am just venting what I would like to do as here there are real men...They are getting harder and harder to find around here. SO at least a lot of you can understand the frustration of not being able to intervene. Seems unfair but I pick my fights better than that punk. I would LOVE to be justified and hurting him...just a little. However I am not and that is why he has been unharmed and will remain that way from my end.
    Mostly I feel for the kid. I can call child services again and put print outs of how to get away from abuse at the door. At least when I move I will have done everything legally can. I still WANT to do it my way. I would not though.
     
  14. 40calruler

    40calruler Lake Oswego Well-Known Member

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    Frustrating but true.
     
  15. 40calruler

    40calruler Lake Oswego Well-Known Member

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    Yet if all 20% stood up people might think twice and improve that number. People are so afraid of getting hurt they will not even go knock on a door when they KNOW someone is getting beat up. Sad world.
     
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  16. mjbskwim

    mjbskwim Salmon,Idaho Well-Known Member

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    Some times I wonder if the woman know anything different.She was probably beat by her father while growing up and this feels right to her. He sleeps and she could take care of the problem at any time.With out any recorse if she has bruises.
    So you get him to attack,you shoot him or give him the beating he deserves and next week she;s with another guy who does this. You won't help much,just delay the inevitable.
    Like I said about the poor little girl that was eft in the freezer by her mom's BF.
    Maybe that would have been the best for the little girl. What could be next?
    Next BF rapes her? Or beats her while mom is away? Cause mom makes bad choices in men and the little girl may never know peace.
    Probably meet up with your neighbor's son and get beat as an adult.

    I'm not saying your stupid for trying.Just be careful what lengths you take it to cause the woman you are try to save will be on her BF's side,against you. She will get another like him
    Ask any cop what call they want the least
     
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  17. 40calruler

    40calruler Lake Oswego Well-Known Member

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    Yes I agree with all that. My brother works for 911 as an operator. He has told me that there is nothing worse than knowing nothing will change when he gets these calls.
    I guess for me I just need to get it out. If I tell most people they say "call the cops". Which is what is done. It is just conflicting to know that the kid will likely grow to be yet another angry man...hopefully directed at abusive men and not women.
    I know I have grown to hate bullies with a passion. They are my #1 disgust. Between a guy like this and corrupt government..I can and will do nothing to get myself put behind bars. This is just a good place to vent and at least have my opinion on what SHOULD happen be understood....even if not agreed on.
     
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  18. rick benjamin

    rick benjamin USA, Or, Damascus Secure the drama Silver Supporter 2016 Volunteer

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    You did what you could do within the law.
    You stepped up, proving you are the rare breed.
    The female refused to press charges, indicating mental illness.
    Can't fix the world's problems, sadly.
    Hope you are moving to Damascus.
     
  19. orygun

    orygun West Linn Bronze Supporter Bronze Supporter

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    I have a friend who has been beaten by her loser boyfriend several times. The cops have come and hauled him away a good percentage of those times. Still, the woman won't press charges for many stupid reasons. The douche bag boyfriend is a small guy, wouldn't ever try anything like this with a man and deserves a really good beat down. I won't do it because of the same concerns as the OP, but if I was nearby when it happened and had a witness, that story would change.
    My friend and her loser boyfriend have alcohol issues. I would be surprised if this wasn't the case in the OP's story.
    40cal, your options are few and it sucks.
     
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  20. ZA_Survivalist

    ZA_Survivalist Oregon AK's all day.

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    Guys like this never change.
    He needs to go away, for good.