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Parents Say I am Not Welcome Thanksgiving Because I have Guns.. What To Do??

Discussion in 'General Firearm Discussion' started by 4Freedom, Nov 7, 2012.

  1. 4Freedom

    4Freedom Boise, Idaho Well-Known Member

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    As if my life isn't hard enough, working like 12-13 hours a day trying to keep a small, struggling business alive, now I have had some fallout with my parents. Well, I already had a bit of animosity with my mother, since she is a die-hard liberal who voted for Obama and supports gun control, whereas I am conservative and voted for the other guy (sorry to you guys here who don't like him). However, out of love, I was willing to overlook that and not get political with her.

    I am a guy in my mid-30s and my parents are in their 60s, just to give you an overview of the situation; I'm not a kid visiting from college or anything. Anyhow, being the die-hard RKBA/pro-2A person that I am, I will never cave-in to demands unless I absolutely have to when it comes to compromising my gun rights. Well, I've been busy and my parents told me they want me to come visit during the holidays. Every Thanksgiving they come to visit me or I go to visit them and see my brothers who come and visit as well. Anyhow, even though I didn't want to go visit, because I am so busy with work, out of love and respect for them I said I would come and stay with them for Thanksgiving and be with the family. Well, my parents know that I am pro-gun and own and carry guns. I've stayed with them several times and they never gave me any trouble and nothing ever happened. Yes, I had my gun with me and nobody thought about it and I slept with it by my bedside.

    Well, for some reason now, my father, who is always submissive to my mother, said that my mother does not allow guns in the house. I told them that I am against gun-control and think their way of thinking is bad. Then my father gives me the anti-gun speech about how I don't really need a gun and that I am more likely to shoot myself. I told him I rather get shot and have a chance to defend myself then live my life as helpless and at the mercy of evildoers. Considering, he is a Vietnam Veteran, I was hoping he would have more respect for this, but he changed over the years. Then, after the gun control debate we got into, he starts telling me how my mother absolutely doesn't want any guns in house. That they are afraid of guns, etc etc. I said I always carry my gun with me and loaded at all times and that I would be willing to compromise by keeping them unloaded in the house, but the magazine with me, so if I needed to load up, I could. My father said my mother would not accept that either and that my guns must remain in the car or garage.

    My father said I must respect his rules. I said I don't respect them, but I accept them and won't come over. I told him, that you asked me to come, so you will have to respect that I do not travel or sleep anywhere without my firearm near me. Then I became miserable and said that I don't respect how you support gun control and that you want to prevent me from being allowed to defend myself and those I love. I went on to tell him how he has been brainwashed by media and government and that he is taught being weak and helpless and waiting for the police is the best approach. I asked him about all our relatives in Belarus during WWII who were forced to be unarmed and then forced to dig their own graves before they and their children were shot dead and buried. None of this, seemed to matter. He says nobody he knows ever carried a gun and that he doesn't have guns and nothing happened to him. I said, "those are famous last words."

    Well, I saw it wasn't going anywhere. I said, NO, I will not come over Thanksgiving. My father said he would put me up in a hotel. I told him, No Thanks. I don't like being treated like a criminal and that I don't want him to spend the money. I, myself, have a lot of work and I am hurting financially, so it would only have been time lost from work. I will feel sad not to see my family Thanksgiving, but the whole treatment I received felt wrong and I know my parents are supporting the gun control mindset that is wrecking havoc on the country. The fact my mother is a die-hard liberal , just adds salt to the wounds. Yeah, I am pissed about the election and her championing OBama + her demands of gun control over me, makes me no longer want to see my family on the holidays. I guess I will stick to cards or they can come visit me.

    Anyhow, I'd appreciate to hear stories and advice from other people here who have been in a similar situation. I know many people here had parents who were pro-gun and took them hunting, sadly, I was not one of those people. I got into guns later in life and come from a family background that is very liberal and naive. I, myself, am the black sheep and transformed into a totally different creature from the rest of my family and relatives over the years. Did I handle things wrong? Am I a horrible son? I love my parents very much, but considering I am a hard-worker, who helps keep my fathers business alive and that I am a law-abiding citizen, I hated the feeling of being a criminal. The whole anti-gun mentality, especially right after election day, has given me a sour feeling in my stomach I could not digest.

    And for a consensus, what would you do in this situation? Would you carry anyway and not tell your parents? Would you come and be a good boy and leave your guns in the car or garage unloaded and cased so you cannot get them if you need them? Would you do what I did and say, I won't come?

    Why does life have to be so difficult.. Now, I have to call my brother in San Francisco and tell him I won't be seeing him Thanksgiving after he was looking so forward to seeing me after 2 years. :(
  2. FatherHolyHoly

    FatherHolyHoly MN Active Member

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    If your mother, father or brother died the day after Thanksgiving, would you regret not seeing them enough to dissuade you from sticking to your guns for a few nights?
    206thsense, PX4WA, keystir and 5 others like this.
  3. MikeE

    MikeE Portland Well-Known Member

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    I think this is a good question. Consider taking a risk out of love. Situational awareness can still be your friend.
  4. JackThompson

    JackThompson Valley of the Demons Well-Known Member

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    First, if you haven't seen your brother in 2 years, go see him. That's important, even if you don't go into the house.

    Second, I agree with your stance and approach to the situation and applaud your convictions.

    Every family has drama of one sort or another. I don't even see my mother (Haven't in 12 years) but I haven't had gun rights conflicts with any family members.

    Just don't let it drive a wedge between you and your family members. Make an effort to see them on neutral ground. I wasted 15 years with my father over a silly grudge that we patched up about 12 years ago, but that's 15 years I can't get back, and wish I could.
    rocky3 and (deleted member) like this.
  5. Grunwald

    Grunwald Out of that nut job colony of Seattle, WA Well-Known Member

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    The thing I find more upsetting than your mother's anti-gun attitude is your father's submisiveness to her.
    The other issue however is that it is their house and they can set the rules. You have the freedom to abide by these rules and visit or not. Myself, I would very likely leave the gun at home and visit, but that is based on my relationship with my mother, and yours could be completely different.

    If you want to kick a hornets' nest, keeping in mind that your mom is Obama supporter and anti-2A, you could put together a little folder with facts about Fast and Furious and give her something to think about (she's likely never heard of it).
    Good luck, and remember that your parents will not be here forever. Families are kept together via compromise and not every espect of one's life has to be about guns.
  6. PX4WA

    PX4WA Tacoma, WA Active Member

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    leave it in your car (trunk) or get a very small concealable gun, or leave one inside your suitcase buried in clothes...

    I think you are more upset at being "told" by your parents than anything else...

    but be thankful you have family, lots of people don't...and they would trade places with you in an instant and leave their gun somewhere else...

    do you carry into a federal building? why not? on an airplane? not really that different... and you are responding exactly like a lot of folks who don't fly because of that and decide to drive... it's your decision.. but you have to live with whatever choice you make...

    to me family comes first... if my mom doesn't want a gun in her house... I just say no problem...

    good luck... sounds like you have other issues with your folks and it is spilling over to this..
  7. Misterbill

    Misterbill Yakima County, Washington New Member

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    Go. Get a Motel room. Don't mention your carry gun and ask them politely not to bring up the issue.

    "Dad, if you have to ASK if I'm carrying a concealed gun, why don't you just pretend that if I am, you can't see it and we all pretend it isn't there."

    Make sure you stay ENTIRELY OFF POLITICS, even if it's brought up, and don't talk about it.

    I've lost both my mother and father when I was still in my early 30s. I miss my dad so much that it brings a tear to my eye just to write this post.
    You only get one Family. Love or hate what they believe in, you love them and they love you.

    I would rather have you disarm yourself, leaving your gun in the car, than turn your back on the your family, no matter HOW wrong they are on this issue. You don't get a second chance at being an adult with your parents. they will be dead very soon. Sooner than you think. That will be the saddest day of your life. Let the days from now until then be as much filled with love as you can make them.

    I say this again as someone who's lost his parents and sorely misses them. Dad and I came to an agreement to disagree ocer guns. But fortunately, it had been only a couple of days between when we had last said "I love you" and when he died. (It was sudden.) I thank God that no political nonsense ever made us become enemies. I had enough of that as a teenager. -I grew out of my assholishness.
  8. Benny503

    Benny503 Grants Pass Well-Known Member

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    This is very similiar to my sistuation, my family moved from pdx to san jose ca. My oldest sis went to school at Stanford,once she grad she stay and work for them. She works at the Standford Hospital as ER DR. My younger sis also went to Standford and work in the bloodpathogent. They all brain washed by the Hospital, all day they both dealing with gunshot victims. They believe guns are source of evil! I still come see them regular! They know that I carry, when they ask about my piece I Ignore their question. I carry concealed, concealed mean concealed.
    rocky3 and (deleted member) like this.
  9. Velzey

    Velzey Estacada, Oregon Gunsmith Gunsmith Bronze Vendor Bronze Supporter

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    Leave it in your car! Life is to short.....
    Respect their wishes even thou you dont agree with them.
    Be glad you have family!
    keystir and (deleted member) like this.
  10. Oklahomie

    Oklahomie Marysville Active Member

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    Leave it in the car. Family is mighty important even if you don't see eye.
  11. 8ball

    8ball WA Quit talkin' and start chalking!

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    Their house, their rules. You can live without your gun for a few hours.

    If you know your family is anti-gun, why did you ever bring the topic up? Better to carry and never let them know in the first place! It's not worth trying to convert all anti-gun people. Do you try and convert people to your politics or religion as well? Life is too short and people are entitled to their own opinions and beliefs.
  12. doobee8

    doobee8 Salem, OR Bronze Supporter Bronze Supporter

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    Bring a very large sword to carve the turkey and be with family.
  13. MountainBear

    MountainBear Sweet Home, OR Well-Known Member

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    I would never ask someone to abandon their convictions. That being said, I am leaving my gun at home and flying to SoCal for Thanksgiving because my Mother went snowbirding early this year. My step-father is a good man, but also a die-hard liberal. We don't talk about whether or not I carry a gun. If I do my part and it stays concealed (I carry deep concealment small gun at their Oregon house), it should never come up.
    Good luck Brother, there is no good answer to this question...
  14. aksu747

    aksu747 Beaverton Active Member

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    You could agree to their rules and carry one in anyway.(a very easily concealed one)
  15. Mohawk13

    Mohawk13 Home on The Range Active Member

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    Never compromise Your principles. You are an adult, and Your Parents should respect You for Your convictions. Seems like Your Dad needs to grow a pair and Put Mom on heel Mode. I suffer from the same issues and only get home once in a while. Helps that they live in MA where gun ownership is akin to mass murder. Sick to Your Guns and don't let any of the "Soft Touches" here make You feel like a wus...
  16. strick

    strick McMinnville Oregon Member

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    I can sort-of understand your spot. I never grew up around firearms, even thou my dad did(going camping, hunting, and fishing) He did do everything but the hunting part with me and my brothers. Him and my mom know that my wife and I have our conceal handgun licence. I carry pretty much all the time when I am not at work. My issue is my dad is not fond of gun at all and he is even republican. He wants NOTHING and I mean nothing to do with firearms at all(private story). However I still carry when I am at their home, other then the fact they know I now own guns and carry they have not gone the route yours have. I keep it concealed and do not "show it off" to anyone.

    You should enjoy your parents company on the holidays. It will not seem to long and they will both be gone. I know that means keeping the gun in the car while in their home, but what is better?? The memories off all the holidays together or knowing you stuck to your convictions and did not go over for the holidays. I know if it bothered my parents that much I would explain my point and if they still felt the saw may I would not carry into Their home. Maybe that would be me caving in, but I want all the memories of the holidays, myself.
  17. Swedish K

    Swedish K SW Washington Moderator Staff Member

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    Sounds like you have some thinking to do. Fortunately for me I haven't had to go through this as the only anti gun relatives I can think of live in D.C. so it isn't much of an issue. I will applaud you for your convictions when it comes to your right to CC. I imagine if in your situation I would most likely bring an easily concealed gun to carry and probably another to leave in the car. After the discussion you have already had with your dad and both sides not budging I wold guess it is in the realm of possibilities that he would assume you brought a gun and that he might ask you to show him that it was left in the car. Just a thought and it does include several assumptions. I wish you luck in coming to a decision you can live with in your dilemma.
  18. eddieb

    eddieb Tigard, OR Member

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    I understand your dilemma, but their house, their rules.
  19. Whitey375

    Whitey375 Eugene, Oregon Active Member

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    I would stay home and work.
  20. Flopsweat

    Flopsweat Slightly right of center Well-Known Member

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    Any point can be too far. If a government or government employee does this, I'm digging in my heels. If it's a relative, well, I would put my life at risk to protect most of my relatives. I have no problem leaving a gun in the car if it makes them happy. I might let them know that I disagree, but I would much rather be the one who made less of a deal about it. It doesn't win the argument for you, but it puts you in a better light later when they have time to think about it again. That's the part that counts - how they feel about you the next time they see you.