Parenting children about guns before Shooting Age

[Oregonhunter5]

What we did? With 5 kids.
Grabbed a shotgun and set it up against the wall in the family room. Leave it there for 1 year. Becomes less intriguing over time.

 

[Hueco]

Daughter is currently 20 months and has seen me moving guns from the cabinet to the garage for the past ~6 months. In the last 3 months, I've been teaching her the difference between Toys and Tools. Toys she can play with at will. Tools must be used for a purpose and she has to ask my permission. Amazing what some daily repetition can do. Also in the tools category and exposed to her are: kitchen knives, pocket knife, and my woodworking hand tools - all the things that she sees me use regularly.

As soon as she gets a bit more capacity to learn, my plan is to leave tools out and teach her to get me to put them away (without touching them).

At the next leap, I imagine that she'll have the capacity to learn how to shoot (~3-4 years old). Reiterating the distinction between toys and tools this whole time and that she must now start to use tools only under my supervision. Kids this young rarely understand the concept of lethal force or death so I prefer the much easier concept of "danger" and only using them while I'm around.

At this point or shortly after, I'll expect her to start cleaning her rifle and taking care of it. Assuming she likes shooting, the responsibility of keeping it in good working order and following my tools rule should be enough to keep her in line - if she steps out, she loses the privilege of shooting. Given that she's already climbing stone fences, walking the tops like a balancing beam, and playing with both dolls and matchbox cars...I'm thinking I might have a little bit of a tomboy in the making. I'm stoked. Guess we'll see, though.

And finally, around age 5-6 and up, I'll be reiterating the dangerousness of guns and lethality of them along with safety rules (which will have been drilled for 2+ years at this point).

That's the best laid plan for this mouse.

 

[762pilot]

A few others have already hit on it, but taking the mystery out of guns is important in teaching kids to respect them. If your little one asks to see a firearm, don't brush it off and say it's a tool and not for kids. That will only intrigue them more, and for good reason - they are trying to gain understanding. Use that opportunity to (after properly clearing of course) let them see and hold the weapon. It is during those lessons that you can explain it is available to them any time they'd like to see it, but that they must ask you. It's a fair reward to their young minds in always going to you first, and it quickly removes the mystery.

Aside from that, remember they are watching every little thing you do and desire to emulate you. Raise them up right by living by good principles and example. Easier said than done.

 

[v0lcom13sn0w]

What we did? With 5 kids.
Grabbed a shotgun and set it up against the wall in the family room. Leave it there for 1 year. Becomes less intriguing over time.

yep!

 

[American123]

Don't make something taboo if you don't want a kid to be fascinated by it. I was shooting (assisted) at 4. As long as I can remember there was a hunting rifle hung on the wall. Never really gave it a second thought, played with it a few times as I was older, but I was very specifically taught from a young age how to be safe with firearms, the rules of firearm safety, but not just parrot them without thinking, really know them.

If someone follows those rules, nothing bad can ever happen, but one lapse can be deadly.

I think that is a great place to start, is reciting the rules and demonstrating them with a pole or whatever, and I think a BB gun is a great trainer in this instance.

I let my cousins kid, who was about 6 at the time, put about 50 rounds through a Kel-Tec sub2k, but only after he could demonstrate firearm safety, and after I even demonstrated some dangerous actions using a stick and he would explain to me what I did wrong. I was very closely assisting him the whole time, but after 50 rounds, he loved it, but the fascination had worn off and he was happy to go play with other things.

In terms of the play violence, completely natural, I'd be more concerned as a dad if a son didn't do play violence.

 

[Caveman Jim]

BTW, I don't remember how old my kids were when I had them shoot a firearm at a watermelon from close distance... destroyed the watermelon and splashed it all over them... See firearms can be destructive, never point a gun and anything you don't want to destroy. Then they understood that safety rule very well!

Same thing I did with both my kids 3 & 4 yo, I knelt, they were in front of me behind the gun as I fired. After the grapefruit exploded I said that is what can happen if you play with guns. They got the message PDQ.
I have little advice for you on how to deal with kids and guns nowadays but I would not do anything different than I did.

 

[wp4]

I don't have anything new to add here, I just want to keep up with this thread by getting notifications, so I'm following along. I'm learning lots, thanks to all you old-heads for the sage wisdom.

My son is 5.5 and has been shooting 22lr since he was 3. He has his own savage rascal now that fits him perfectly (love that it has a peep sight!), and it lives in my safe. He is allowed to see it anytime he wants, and if he wants to go shooting I never say no. Sometimes he has to wait for a bit until I can make time, but I don't make him wait too long. He has to clean and lube it up himself with my help, and he loves doing that almost as much as shooting LOL! I wonder how long that will last? It's like when dad first let you mow the lawn on the riding tractor... couldn't get enough at first, and then it got to be like any other chore.

I think every kid is different when it comes to the age necessary to understand gun safety, I wouldn't recommend someone else start their kid on a .22 at 3 years old unless they're ready, shows enough maturity to understand the cardinal rules, and have an interest in it. My son got after me once because I "muzzle flagged" him with the end of the gun case when it had his unloaded rascal in it! Good boy.

Here he is recently, his first time shooting off a bench ever, at the range I just joined. He liked to hang on to the forearm with his left hand as you can see in the pic, but I got him into the habit of holding the rear bag soon after that.


Kids are the best!

I've tried to do what many here suggest, taking away the mystery of firearms I think is important.

 

[Certaindeaf]

I am a parent of a couple of kids (2 and 4) and the older one is a boy who is fascinated but very young. I'm having some problems and wondering if I could solicit some free advice on parenting preschoolers.

1) "Shooting bad guys." I am an active carrier and my boy sees my carry gun often enough to be a bit fascinated. I call it my family protection device. He often talks about shooting people, then shooting bad guys. I've told him I wouldn't shoot a bad guy, but only if they were trying to hurt us. Any other ideas?

2) Finger guns. I used to do this a LOT as a kid as I grew up with lots of cop shows and war things. But it just feels weird these days when he points his finger gun and says, "shoot!" Any thoughts on finger guns? Our line is that he doesn't get to point them at people or animals. I don't want to be a lefty pansy dad, but I also don't want my boy getting in trouble if he does this at school.

Guns are bad. His fascination with guns should be quashed at all cost.

 

[CHLChris]

@Hueco Thanks for your thoughts about "tools". It hadn't occurred to me to connect it, but I already talk a LOT about tools. "Can I play with...?" "No." "Why?" "Because it is a tool and we don't play around with tools. We use them." And then he sometimes does get to use/touch/try almost every tool he is interested in, with my help and in its real context. (He really loves to push around my steel wheelbarrow and that is building muscles of steel!)

Now i just need to connect guns to the concept of tools. Thanks!

 

[titsonritz]

BTW, I don't remember how old my kids were when I had them shoot a firearm at a watermelon from close distance... destroyed the watermelon and splashed it all over them... See firearms can be destructive, never point a gun and anything you don't want to destroy. Then they understood that safety rule very well!

I've often used this example , albeit with an apple , many times when instructing new shooters....
Works well in my experience.
Andy

Same here, cantaloupe has been my fruit of choice.

 

[Capin JRo]

Don't make it a hard to access if they have questions answer them honestly. Show them you guns make sure they understand they need to have YOU around to view and especially to touch firearms. Then as they get older test them and correct them if needed.

As soon as my kids had questions I started talking to them about safety.

 

[CHLChris]

My boy likes to walk around the yard with a water spray bottle "shooting" things. Early on, we made the rule No People No Animals. He can shoot things around the yard, but can't point it at any of us or any if the pets and neighbor animals. I see this as a first step toward safe gun handling since a spray bottle has a muzzle and a trigger.

 

[PaulB47]

Unlike many who have advised to the contrary, I suggest you CARRY WITH AN EMPTY CHAMBER.

When my son was the age of your kids, I cleared my 1911 (which is what I carried at the time), and then asked him to operate the controls. He could compress the grip safety and pull the trigger. He could cock the hammer. He could take the safety off. He could drop the magazine. The one thing he could not do, was to rack the slide.

Perhaps you are perfect, and never have made a mistake. I knew I was fallible and might leave that gun on a counter or in the couch where he might find it some day, so I always carried with an empty chamber. When Massad Ayoob's techniques ("Gun-Proof Your Children") were working, and he was old enough to follow them, I went back to carrying with a chambered round (keeping in mind his young friends however!).

No doubt I will get some complaints from people who know better; however they are not responsible for safety in my home. I am.