Online Dating

[motoman98]

I was in the "pool" here 15+ yrs back; joined a dating site. It asked me for my favorite animal. I replied "Grizzly".
I (of course)was refering to my .45 Win mag 1911.
Got a great response from a Montana girl.....AND
met my future wife.
Really isn't a difficult situation, sir.
'nuff said!

 

[Kevinkris]

actually asp is right. except it does improve functions as well.

 

[clearconscience]

Most guys say always carry a gun in the woods.

As far as I'm concerned that goes the same for meeting people online in any forum

 

[RVTECH]

Most guys say always carry a gun in the woods.
As far as I'm concerned that goes the same for meeting people online in any forum

Well, I think one is safe while meeting people online, it's the FTF meetup that could be sketchy but I am not going to have much fear meeting a woman in a public place for the first time.

 

[The B]

I strongly suspect that if you look at the real numbers, you'll find that meeting with people you met online is actually probably safer than driving to the grocery store.

Just another one of these highly mediacized things that doesn't actually really happen with enough frequency to warrant "fear."

 

[Asp]

actually asp is right. except it does improve functions as well.

Only my dangly bits.

 

[Ironbar]

I recently entered the world of online dating......

That right there tells me that you are indeed nuts.

 

[unklekippy]

I spent my "youth"(late teens to my 30th birthday) completely bent on drinking and narcotics. I really did do it all. A typical Portland kid sampling all the wares. It was fun. Of course there are regrets and of course mistakes were made(boy-howdy were they made). My Dad died at 52 on my couch out of nowhere(laid down for a nap, didn't wake up) and I buried him the day before my 30th birthday. I had my last drink, smoke and snort on my birthday and gave it all up cold turkey the very next day. Dad motivated me to do it, but my wife and son keep me where I am. I don't think my story is special and I don't know if it will work for anybody else, but I don't act like a kid because of the example I intend to set, not because the Mrs. will have my balls in a sling.

I hope that RVTECH finds what he is looking for. I hope that Burt gets his regular romps and does what he needs to get through. To each their own, but when even the dollar in your pocket is fake and you can't get away from posturing and general bullbubblegum from your fellow man, real, unapologetic love is quite possibly the strongest thing I've ever known and it's what keeps me going every day. And no matter how much I don't want to admit it, it probably keeps the bottle from my lips and a needle from my arm. Real love is a hell of a thing. Not the fear of being alone, but love.

 

[teflon6string]

For years I've participated at various times in an interesting activity that bears many parallel similarities to online dating - finding other musicians.

I've noticed some distinct trends:

- the really best ones can pick and choose, so you'd better be interesting.
- some will always be available - dysfunction junction.
- if you compromise just to have a gig, then prepare to feel compromised.
- you'll stumble into the same ones over and over again, and they've all played with people you know.
- some just play with anyone 6-7 nights a week, variety junkies...
- many are in a band or two already, shopping for upgrades.
- no matter what you put out there about yourself, some players will respond to anything and everything, regardless of what they really have, or don't have, to offer.

Have fun, be safe, and keep your true priorities in mind. There are some really fine people out there, take your time and find the right one.

 

[Burt Gummer]

There is nothing wrong whatsoever with being a happy person without being in a 'serious relationship'.

I've been in two or three; a couple 5-year live in - love in - relationships, been there done that. Been in 'love' of course.

Never have had some traumatic event that made me 'hate women.' I don't hate them.

I just see them for what they are - dream killers, wallet shoppers; looking for a sperm donor lol (partially kidding here). When you see the beautiful lion at the zoo you appreciate its beauty, but you don't put your hand in there.

It just isn't necessary. I have lots of fun with going out a partying with ladies even at my age, but there is absolutely no reason whatsoever for me to ever marry one. I could have been married a dozen times over. I have had centerfold types beg me to marry them in my life; sounds like BS I know, but it is not. I am FUN, financially secure, and arrogant and those are the things that attract women the most.

Like I said, some people need a wife, some don't; why is that so hard? Married people picked up a bad cold, a virus so to speak and feel they need to share that, impose that, on every single (as in unmarried person) they come across.

Believe it or not folks you CAN be very happy in life without being bonded to another. It isn't a life requirement. It is a government-granted contractual obligation more than anything else. I know some have other reasons (tabu subjects) which go unspoken here and I won't comment on that.

I have yet to ever meet a married person more happy than myself and when asked privately if they could do it all over again would they have a wife, kids, and the cage, most say NO almost without hesitation.

When I was ten years old I had a bunch of nickels in my hand standing in that big arcade on Broadway at Seaside Beach. I looked out at the miserable old people walking by (married of course LOL j/k) and promised myself I would never become a stagnant boring person. That even in my 40s-50s and beyond I would still take the time to have fun and remain 'free.'

I have always kept that little promise I made to myself.

Ask a married person you know if they want, without planning, to go off and do something at a whim, go to an arcade, a movie, the 22lr range at 2am. They simple can't and won't. I don't want that for myself. I want the freedom and fun of being a 'kid' and yes, I have it. The single life rocks! I have known guys in their 80s that still feel the same with no regrets.

I have also mentored many employees in my life and warned them off about marriage. They all have one thing in common. They wished they listened.

 

[Blitzkrieg]

The only way you can live with a female and not be punked out is to be more alpha/dominant/capable than her and thereby earn her respect. Weakness in you will otherwise be exploited. This is all about natural selection and is.. natural

Burt.. meet a happy married man

 

[Botte Hork]

I have AARP friends who get divorced and they have all the social skills of a ferret because they spent their life in an incubator.

You should stick to the relationship threads Burt, nothing but gem after gem!

 

[Burt Gummer]

Blitzkrieg, I know you are a happily married man and that is great.

I will say, however, that for the lad who is 21-26 he is shopping in an entirely different 'market' nowadays. Empowered idiot females that learn life lessons from Kim Kardashian(?).

Yes, there are the man bites dog scenarios also I am truly glad that you are happy being married. Same with other people that are happy being married. So why oh why is it so hard for married people to be happy for a single person that is 100% happy? That was my point.

If you are single and happy DON'T DON'T DON'T get married, period. You will not be 'happier' 99 out of a 100 times. The exception is of course the first 90-120 days, hell maybe six months of delusion and bliss.

The American divorce rate continues to be above 50%. First marriages experience a success rate of 40-50% and subsequent marriage success rates offer diminishing returns.

The average person would not start a job if they were told there was a 50/50 chance of being fired. Or start a business. But marriage, no problem! Even if you are on the 'winning side' of the 50/50 equation chances are you still won't be as happy as when you were single.

Anyone here got the balls to step up and say yes I'm married with brats and if I could do it all over again ..... probably not ... the wife might see . I sure wish I could just hop in the car right now and go over and play pool at a buddy's house or fire up the Playstation and start an online game with a six pack in hand - wait! - that is what I will be doing in five minutes ....

 

[gallogiro]

Quite a few years ago I moved to a small town 30 miles from anywhere and didn't know anywhere. Out of boredom I hopped on a Yahoo chat room and started talking to a local girl. 15 years, two rings and 3 kids later we're still married with no end in sight. It can be done.

Same here, about the same time frame I was in an AOL chatroom, 14 years and 3 kids later we are still very happy. I was not actively looking for anything, I was just messing around the chatroom because I had just signed up for internet on my first computer I bought with my own money(It was my senior year in high school). It was one of those "small world" moments, after some talking we come to find out that our mom's knew each other and were friends in elementary school.

It was actually her dad that introduced me to hunting and I got a little crazed on the guns after that.

 

[Sgt Nambu]

HaHaHa, Burt! I've been married for 43 years and I can go anywhere or do anything I want, any time. So can my wife! Mutual respect. The only thing that would be verboten is illicit sex, because we took a vow to be monogamous. I, for one, am glad that you have a happy life, and I do get what you are saying. I would never marry again because my wife is irreplaceable to me! There are nice women out there but it's to much work to sift through them all!

 

[Burt Gummer]

OK Sgt I'll meet you at the Turnaround at Seaside at 3am LOL. Like I told Blitzkrieg, if you were 21 and shopping for that special someone GOOD LUCK; in today's world of the worthless consumer American user females. Sad that if you want someone of substance you might have to go to Cambodia or somewhere around the globe. American women are just ruined.

Outside of your experience with the man-bites-dog, you can't possibly advise any young man nowadays to want to the married in this climate and 'g' forbid, have kids knowing what is coming.

What worked for you won't work for the vast majority of people. Of course I am assuming the OP is going into the Online Dating sewer to meet his soul mate and get married, not just hump. If it is to just hump, and he can get aroused by cows, then have at it. I am impressed.

 

[Burt Gummer]

What I like best about this forum is that the people that are my most polar opposite on so many levels are the people I like the best. I find that odd. Worth mentioning.

I take the internet and forums very lightly and don't get offended by those who would make ignorant personal insults/comments. That would be irrational. No one here really knows me nor do I really get concerned about superficial nonsense.

The bottom line is even the people I disagree with here on certain issues still have gained my respect. Finally, I do ask that no one here worship me for I am only a man. Requests for a personal audience with me are very complimentary, but there are only so many hours in a day.

 

[Burt Gummer]

What I like best about this forum is that the people that are my most polar opposite on so many levels are the people I like the best. I find that odd. Worth mentioning.

I take the internet and forums very lightly and don't get offended by those who would make ignorant personal insults/comments. That would be irrational. No one here really knows me nor do I really get concerned about superficial nonsense.

The bottom line is even the people I disagree with here on certain issues still have gained my respect. Finally, I do ask that no one here worship me for I am only a man. Requests for a personal audience with me are very complimentary, but there are only so many hours in a day.

NSFW lol - I guess the reality of it is that American women have been undesirable as a LT commitment for a long time -

 

[Don H]

Outside of your experience with the man-bites-dog, you can't possibly advise any young man nowadays to want to the married in this climate and 'g' forbid, have kids knowing what is coming.

What worked for you won't work for the vast majority of people.

I'm another one of those man-bites-dog exceptions: my wife and I meet as teenagers and have been together for 26 years and counting. We're still happy and individuals that compliment each other.

That said, Burt, you are a true genius and I couldn't imagine trying to find my wife in today's western society... As other's have suggested, go EAST, young man, go EAST!

 

[unklekippy]

Burt,

My wife, son and I would love to meet you at the Seaside boardwalk. We go to places like that all the time. Sometimes, when I see that a band is playing somewhere and I simply MUST go(those days may be over, but that has much less to do with my wife and much more to do with being that sober guy surrounded by drunks. No fun.), the Mrs. has never had a problem, never will.

For me to say that I wouldn't do it again wouldn't require a guarantee that my wife wouldn't see it, it would require me to lie.

On the other hand, I grew up next door to my wife. By being the fun, financially stable(I could do a little better, but who couldn't?) and arrogant guy mentioned earlier, and the completely honest, nothing to hide partner that we all need she has always worshiped me. I can't compare that to meeting someone through a dating service. It really is 1956 in my house. Out there, it can be 2013, but we refuse to live like that.

I know too many men that will never be loved by the woman they adore as much as the woman loves her dog. Women have somehow been allowed to be put in the position of power and I don't understand that(remember, 1956 in here).

I guess I am just so thankful for who, where and what I am. I couldn't imagine ever being foolish enough to come home to my belongings on the front yard. I couldn't imagine being beat down by any woman, much less one that is by definition here for me. And to those that have a problem with my "sexist" beliefs in the role of man & woman, you are the ones trying to change the meaning of marriage, not me. I will provide, she will cook, clean and perform other womanly duties. The world didn't start going to bubblegum until we turned away from that standard.