Nice Neighbor Etiquette...

[Jonnyuma]

My next door neighbors are Asian (that becomes relevant in a minute)... nice folks, very little, if any English. Two cute kids, especially the little girl... she's freaking adorable, about 6 or so, plays "Princess" outside, all alone, gibbering in a language I'll never understand. We smile and say "Good Morning" and treat each other neighborly... I've helped the little girl up when she fell off her bike, my GF bought the kids a Little Red Wagon (because she likes to haul her stuffed animals around... the kid, not my GF).

Anyway, I was in the garage yesterday (coincidentally working on an AR15) when both kids come over and present me w a glass dish of little white balls in paper cups, like cupcakes only smaller. I thought they were some kind of cookies sprinkled w powdered sugar... OH NO. Weird dough balls, rubbery and filled w God-knows what. I'm glad I didn't take a bite while they were watching, I'm sure my reaction would have been insulting.

My mama taught me to never return a dish empty (even if what came in it went into the garbage). So what do I return?

I was originally thinking some chocolate chip cookies (when I thought that the white balls were sweets), but now I'm thinking that might be insulting. I know nothing of Asian culture except that some of it is pretty rigid. Do I wash the dish and just say Thank You? Write a note? Put some hamburgers in it? Maybe some mac n cheese?

I'm usually not averse to giving the world the finger, but these are nice folks and I'd like to do the classy thing... for once.

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[JRuby]

I would take a small bag of candy for the kids and give it to the mother to distribute. And say thank you. Thank you and a small gift is rarely unappreciated in my opinion
Wash the plate and give it back at the same time. IMHO

 

[albin25]

After 30 or so years of hosting Asian students in my home, often 2 or 3 at a time for 3-6 months at a stretch, I can tell you 1 thing for sure....
….in many ways they are as different from each other as we are.
Their tastes, generally speaking, are less "sweet" and more "salty", for example. But, more than happy to ask/answer questions about what foods they/we like/don't like. They enjoy many "snack food/candy" that can cause the western pallet to cringe, (soy-squid gummies, green tea KitKat for example) and they find much of our foods a little sweet,
So, ask away! Simply tell them you were unfamiliar with what those balls were or what to do with them (maybe they needed to be cooked?).
Before you eat another one ask them politely what they are, and what's in them, make up an odd food allergy if you want (say you're allergic to barley flour)
Do not return them un-eaten, and your questions will not offend....quite the opposite....they will appreciate the interest in their cuisine.

in the spirit of reciprocity;
Make the kids some Rice Crispy squares, for some reason most of our Asian students have never heard of it but once they try it …. holy crap! They can't stop eating it. We've had some fill their suitcases up with boxes of puffed rice and bags of marshmallows (leaving their clothes unpacked) when they return home.

 

[bolus]

Was it Mochi?
Mochi - Wikipedia


For Santa Claus level of gifting:
If you live in Portland, Go to Uwajimaya Uwajimaya and get a nice bag of rice for the parents (up front in front of the registers - pick one in a silver foil bag or ask which one would be good for a gift).



Get a few boxes of Pocky


for the kids or go to the Asia bookstore in the back of the store and get some toys for the kids. <broken link removed>

They have a bunch of toys straight from Japan (Hello kitty, Manga (comic) books, action figures, mini legos, etc). If you dont know what to get, ask what to get for their age or a gift certificate.



If you did that (spending probably ~$30 total) I think it would be an amazing surprise gift

If you happen to be rich, then get them one of the rice cookers in the kitchen section of Uwajimaya. They run ~$150-200 or a hot water dispenser for tea (also imported and expensive).

Rice Cookers

Also, stop by J&B firearms right down the street and get something for yourself.

 

[Retired Guy]

Yeah, I was thinking maybe mochi too. Mochi is a sweet rice cake with a soft, chewy texture. It might have a filling.

A return gift is good courtesy but don't spend too much or you will create a gift war. If you give them an expensive gift, they might feel obligated to give another gift "to equal things out". Candy is always a safe bet.

 

[Meridian7750]

Similar situation here. I have wonderful, Korean, neighbors.
In the past after doing some kindness or nice thing for them, no matter how trivial, they would bring over a gift of food.
My experience has been, it's not the content of the gift but rather the respect and honor behind it.
They've offered everything from home cooked yummies, to store-bought cookies. All were receive gratefully.
They have also offered some amazing fruit...yep, fruit.
To this day, the best damn grapes I've ever had were from them.
Do something simple but nice, and do it soon. It loses a lot in the "respect" realm if you wait too long.

 

[Member 34319]

My wife is 1/4 Korean. I've eaten a lot of Korean food. Her grandma when alive made some very tasty food. We often cook a lot of Korean type dishes.

I have learned to love most of it. Especially Korean BBQ.

What they brought you were likely sticky buns, or steamed buns. They are a rice dough, very sticky and chewy. They are filled with all sorts of things. They can be sweet or savory. A very traditional left over type dish. They can be very good. It takes a while to get used to the dough though as American culture rarely has chewy type textures in our diet. Lots of Korean, and other Asian cultures love chewy textures.

As far as returning the favor. Especially for Korean culture, food isn't the greatest gift. Especially if they are really traditional, they likely will not eat anything you bring over. They will be gracious if you do and accept it, but likely not eat it. If that makes sense.

They will gladly accept gifts. Trinkets or small knick knacks are always a good choice. Especially American type things. They love that type of thing.

 

[jbett98]

Here's what I would give to them. $12.99 and up.

 

[AMT]

Did this gesture from them happen shortly after you bought the little girl the wagon? This may be their way of thanking you?

Invite them over for BBQ hamburgers or hotdogs? (Of course, ask them first if they like hamburger or hotdogs). Heck if you're gonna fire up the grill for you, you might as well just throw on a few more for them. If they are "new" to America, they may be willing to "expand their horizons" with some basic BBQ. If they decline, well, you offered in-kind and it was them who declined. (I hope that makes sense).

 

[AMT]

Similar situation here. I have wonderful, Korean, neighbors.
In the past after doing some kindness or nice thing for them, no matter how trivial, they would bring over a gift of food.
My experience has been, it's not the content of the gift but rather the respect and honor behind it.
They've offered everything from home cooked yummies, to store-bought cookies. All were receive gratefully.
They have also offered some amazing fruit...yep, fruit.
To this day, the best damn grapes I've ever had were from them.
Do something simple but nice, and do it soon. It loses a lot in the "respect" realm if you wait too long.

I LOVED those little dough balls when I was in Japan! Had them in the Philippines and Korea too. Yummy. As you mentioned, the texture was different than what I was used to, but I quickly learned to like them. Especially when they were fresh and warm.

 

[UserNameInUse]

I think a non-Asian person giving Asian people something Asian is a little weird. They gave you something they like a lot. You should give them something you like a lot.

As said above, they will appreciate the thought no matter what you give them. If you do go with cookies I would suggest either sugar or butter cookies. Mmmmm.

 

[RaceFan]

I would not give rice since you don't know their nationality. Chinese typically do not eat Japanese rice, unless it's in sushi; Japanese typically do not eat Thai rice because it's not sticky; Thai people don't like Chinese rice because it's not long grain; etc. LOL But I'm serious. I know.

Go with fruit for the family and a small portion of candy (a few pieces or a small box like that shown above).

If you're interested in "getting ACQUAINTED with your neighbor, but not be BBQ buddies" (that is... being cordial, helping each other when needed, etc.), pick up three, six, seven or eight apples or oranges and return with the clean bowl containing a note with a simple "Thank You". Don't give four or five pieces of fruit. Four is a homonym for "death" in many Asian languages; five is a homonym for "no" or "inadequate".

 

[Carbon]

Well, since they already think highly of you, I would bet any thoughtful gift/act would be fine. They gave you something they enjoy, just give them something similar like that you enjoy. In many asian cultures as stated in other posts, if you give a "better" gift they may feel obligated to "match" it.

 

[teflon6string]

Cool neighbors sounds like.

You're lucky. And you're a class act for wanting to reciprocate appropriately. What specifically is their heritage? Are they Korean, Japanese, Vietnamese, Chinese, Taiwanese, Thai?

As an ignorant young rogue visiting several countries last century, I was guilty of hiking up Mt. Fuji in a down hunting vest with a tiny South Korean flag sewn to it. No incident (everyone was still gracious in 1978), but I learned later that my insensitive act might've been viewed then sorta like wearing a MAGA cap in the Pearl District today.

(BTW, my 3 adult kids are a regular-a$$ white boy, a girl from China and a boy from Vietnam. Americans all, they don't care about being mistaken for various ethnicities and get a kick out of people guessing.)

If there is no discrete way to research this, then maybe something distinctly American might be in order (though chances are it's made in China).

 

[Dungannon]

Lived five years in Japan as a kid. Still remember my dismay to find the center of an ice cream bar contained bean paste. Loved the bento box meals we bought from vendors at the train stations. When my parents wanted a little 'alone time' they'd give us each 50 yen and send us to the local neighborhood soba shop. We were encouraged to read all the Japanese comic books which would take quite a while.

 

[Goosebrown]

My next door neighbors are Asian (that becomes relevant in a minute)... nice folks, very little, if any English. Two cute kids, especially the little girl... she's freaking adorable, about 6 or so, plays "Princess" outside, all alone, gibbering in a language I'll never understand. We smile and say "Good Morning" and treat each other neighborly... I've helped the little girl up when she fell off her bike, my GF bought the kids a Little Red Wagon (because she likes to haul her stuffed animals around... the kid, not my GF).

Anyway, I was in the garage yesterday (coincidentally working on an AR15) when both kids come over and present me w a glass dish of little white balls in paper cups, like cupcakes only smaller. I thought they were some kind of cookies sprinkled w powdered sugar... OH NO. Weird dough balls, rubbery and filled w God-knows what. I'm glad I didn't take a bite while they were watching, I'm sure my reaction would have been insulting.

My mama taught me to never return a dish empty (even if what came in it went into the garbage). So what do I return?

I was originally thinking some chocolate chip cookies (when I thought that the white balls were sweets), but now I'm thinking that might be insulting. I know nothing of Asian culture except that some of it is pretty rigid. Do I wash the dish and just say Thank You? Write a note? Put some hamburgers in it? Maybe some mac n cheese?

I'm usually not averse to giving the world the finger, but these are nice folks and I'd like to do the classy thing... for once.

Those were mochi balls. They're bean paste. Considered a treat. You can freeze them and they're like ice cream I don't like then either. Nothing to worry about though.

 

[Mister Bisley]

I second the visit to Uwajimaya .... @bolus knows what's up! I can also highly recommend the ramen spot that is attached to the store called ramen-ryoma , if you're looking for a very good lunch or dinner, while shopping. It's one of the best ramen spots in the country, that I know of.

 

[Mikej]

I think a non-Asian person giving Asian people something Asian is a little weird. They gave you something they like a lot. You should give them something you like a lot.

This ^^^. They get Asian food every night for heck sake! "Chicken Enchiladas" man! I always make chicken enchiladas for a new neighbor. Chicken enchiladas just scream "WELCOME to AMERICA".

Seriously though, I make them flat/stacked rather than rolled with chicken thighs seasoned with oregano/cumin/cilantro/lime/onion/garlic. Boned/chopped and mixed with cream o' chicken soup. Layered with cheese/onions and baked.

 

[Stomper]

This ^^^. They get Asian food every night for heck sake! "Chicken Enchiladas" man! I always make chicken enchiladas for a new neighbor. Chicken enchiladas just scream "WELCOME to AMERICA".

Seriously though, I make them flat/stacked rather than rolled with chicken thighs seasoned with oregano/cumin/cilantro/lime/onion/garlic. Boned/chopped and mixed with cream o' chicken soup. Layered with cheese/onions and baked.

No way.... as suggested, give them something you like that's distinctly from American culture.... it can only be an AR15 with six full magazines.



There, it's settled. Report back and let us know how much they love it!

 

[Jonnyuma]

Was it Mochi?

I think it was. Looked like this:

A return gift is good courtesy but don't spend too much or you will create a gift war.

I've been reading that... I don't want to go there

Candy is always a safe bet.

That's where I went.

Did this gesture from them happen shortly after you bought the little girl the wagon?

Naaaaahh, been a year or so.

Are they Korean, Japanese, Vietnamese, Chinese, Taiwanese, Thai?

That, I do not know.

Chicken Enchiladas" man!

First thing to cross my mind! My GF makes killer chicken enchiladas. But the dish is small and they'd have to be in a larger dish. Then they'd give something back... I could end up perpetuating the "gift war".

I ordered some Chinese candy offa Amazon and looked up how to say and write Thank You in Mandarin (seemed like a safe bet). What I've read today said a lot of the same things you guys have said, all good advice. Also read that gifts should be family-centric in a case like this so I went with a relatively safe, innocuous gift. At least the kids will like it.

Xing xing, amigos.