Need some guidance about family member with class c felony

[ZA_Survivalist]

I don't have a dog in this fight, but I want to commend you for wanting to do the right thing by sheltering him and for trying to keep him out of trouble by removing him from his past elements.

That takes a very strong and kind hearted person to do or even contemplate such a thing.

That being said.. Ive known a few folks who took the path of hard drugs and they all relapsed. All but one, but thats because she had an incredible family support system. She hit rock bottom but I saw her rise up. So it can be done.. I don't know where she is now but I hope she stuck with it.
.. However.. I personally could never let a past addict and possible future felon (pending trial) in my home, family or not... And my cousin is on that very path.
Let him sink or swim. Churches help with that very thing. They can take a junkie in, clean him up, feed him and possibly help him find a job.. But it takes drive, ambition, goals and personal accountability/ responsibility. Those traits must already be in him, even deep down.. If not he'll eventually fall to his own demise.

As for felons with firearms, Id avoid it altogether if hes going to be in your home. Store your firearms (all but your personal and HD platforms) at a friends or non known (to him) family members house. Or even a storage unit. But lock up those you keep around while youre not home/awake or keep them near, very near.

 

[Scvette]

This could be one of those stories you hear about. Couple trying to help nephew out found ____ police looking for nephew!

 

[redbobfire]

I have been through this. The behaviors you mention are the same ones that got him into the trouble in the first place. He has not changed, just his location has changed. Remember the saying, Wherever you go, there you are.
You cannot help him do what he is unwilling to do on his own. Every individual has to take their own stand as to how far they are qilling to let their life sink. Until then helping them is only making their poor choices be easier on them.
The question about liability is a good one. If you know he has these problems and he is able to get ahold of one of your weapons it is easy to surmise the outcome. He commits a crime with the weapon and some hotshot attorney sues you for enabling the crime.

 

[gunnails]

You are a good Man JG. Good luck, and stop driving 55 in the fast lane.

 

[Tbucket]

Good luck JG in whatever you decide. Keep your eyes open and all else locked up. I have a good friend who was once a junkie and is clean now for ten years but he is the exception to the rule. Hope all turns out for you.

 

[deen_ad]

I thought that if someone was under court supervision for a crime for which they could be sent to prison for over one year under the sentencing guidelines was the same as a convicted felon and was to be treated the same.


Deen
NRA Life Member, Benefactor Level
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"Having a gun is like a parachute, if you need one and don't have it you may never need it again"

 

[mud]

don't have time to read whole thread so might be repeating something but you can keep firearms in a safe in house but if he some how ends up with one its on you.That being said when released on bail or O.R.ed his residence(yours) is 100% searchable no warrant needed.If he has conditions of release i suggest you read them before agreeing to let him stay.For the personal advise part sounds like he isn't learning much few months in county might be good for him

 

[Redcap]

I have been through this. The behaviors you mention are the same ones that got him into the trouble in the first place. He has not changed, just his location has changed. Remember the saying, Wherever you go, there you are.
You cannot help him do what he is unwilling to do on his own. Every individual has to take their own stand as to how far they are qilling to let their life sink. Until then helping them is only making their poor choices be easier on them.
The question about liability is a good one. If you know he has these problems and he is able to get ahold of one of your weapons it is easy to surmise the outcome. He commits a crime with the weapon and some hotshot attorney sues you for enabling the crime.

 

[taylor]

Thank God you're not in California.

 

[Grunwald]

I will not judge because I do not know him.
Years ago I had a friend whom I met at work. He used to smoke heroin and has been using drugs for years, however always managed to be functional. We became friends when he was already clean.
He did not tell me much about the drug abuse except that he was the one who made the runs into the ghetto to buy and he would get his fix as payment. One day he had an epiphany that he is either going to die while buying or from an overdose and decided to stop.
Additional bit of information is that he was married and his wife was also a junkie and he met her when they were both using.
Both of them started AA and cleaned up. He also quit smoking, while she did not.
I have known him for a few years before losing contact as I left the area and then so did he.
Last time I talked to him he was still doing great, but gotten divorced. Said that since both he and his wife cleaned up they realized that they did not really know each other as they were completely different people.

I do remember that he did believe the whole concept behind AA, and made references to god helping him. Now, myself being an atheist it was hard sometimes to listen to that without engaging in a debate, but I kept my mouth shut. If belief in god keeps him clean that is all that matters. What good would it do if I actually engaged in an debate an won? Nothing. It could end up destroying the basis for his recovery.

It also taught me a lesson. While for some people the concept of morality and power is internal, others need something else. If a person has neither, there will no be a recovery.

 

[slingshot1943]

Some jail time would probably benefit this guy. I have been around many people abusing alcohol and drugs. Hitting bottom is the best way to get off drugs. People I've known in true recovery are generally quite honest. I wouldn't consider anyone in lasting recovery for at least one year.

 

[Squidly]

Some jail time would probably benefit this guy. I have been around many people abusing alcohol and drugs. Hitting bottom is the best way to get off drugs. People I've known in true recovery are generally quite honest. I wouldn't consider anyone in lasting recovery for at least one year.

I'd also like to add: Addicts lie. If he's still lying, he's still using.

 

[jluck]

James, At this point he is looking for a enabler and you were chosen. It does not sound he is ready (TRULY READY) for "help". You will become his victim in your home. There is nothing you can do but offer tough love at this point...."Sorry bud, Keep walking"...

Been there, Done it, saw it a hundred times. Don't invite the misery. Sadly there not "family" any longer with a dope addiction. If he ever cleans up he will thank you, I promise.

BTW, Clinically prescribed dope is no answer to quitting, It's just our pharm system keeping people dependent.

oops, Guess this is probably old news....

 

[JRuby]

From my perspective - the game is over. He no longer lives at my residence and we have decided that we have done what we could for him. Well getting ready to go hunting this fall - little things that I knew where they were kept coming up missing. I wish my nephew well, but we are done - he wore out his welcome. I really am not looking forward to seeing him anytime soon. He brought drugs into my home and continued to lie to us.We gave financially til it hurt and shows no respect or appreciation for anyone but himself and his girlfriend. One of the hardest things to do is lose all regard for a family members well being. He is an adult and is responsible for his actions. He was given all the winning pieces we had and still chose to lose - so be it, the game is over.


James

 

[JRuby]

I would like to say thank you for the information you guys provided- some of the information I did not believe, some I thought was harsh but in the end most of the information was true. I am not big enough to fix problems such as these when the individual does not want to change. I learned alot more about this than I ever wanted to. I better understand how an addicts minds work in regards to how they prioritize what they feel is important.

I sincerely thank those of you who provided me information and thoughts on this subject. I think that before I put my wife and family through this process I would swallow a lead slug first.

James

 

[Steve06]

You are going to have to prove to the Court and the Parole Department that your nephew does not have access to any weapons and that you can provide documentation for all weapons and that they are secure. The recommendation to the Court/State by the Parole Officer will most likely decide whether he stays or not. if he gets caught with one of your weapons you could possibly be charged. That portion of your home your nephew occupies will be subject to unannounced inspection by the Parole Officer also. This will all be explained to you. I admire your sense of responsibility but it places a considerable burden on you.

 

[JRuby]

We now live in different states and he has not been in my house for several months. He is not living with me any longer.

James