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I responded to a friends email, that he had "need" to process a game animal, that had happened by one day, I replied with this:
"Reminds me of my friend, who heard a noise at his door. None of his friends used that door, it was a second floor house, built into a hill... So that stairway was just a nice straight climb.... Rather than a person climbing the muddy hill, he was nice that way...
But his real friends just walked into the Basement-Garage, and climbed the inside stairs, Yes, a nicer way to enter that house.... But that is not the direction the story was going, just sharing, he had Two Sets of Stairs, you see.
Well, sir, you see he went to the door, to see who it was. Opps, it was a What it Was, not a Who it was.
Black Bear, year old... Well, he had not Invited a Black Bear for Coffee that morning, and being Norwegian, he was a mite upset, that the Bear had disturbed his Morning Ritual, and believe me, you do not want to interrupt a Norwegian from his first cup of Coffee of the day, Yes sir, that there is The truth.
Why maybe, you might not want to disturb, even, their second cup of that precious black fluid that Norwegians are a bit fond of.
So, being inconsiderately inconvenienced, by said Black Bear, my Norwegian Friend, was in a Foul Mood, indeed, some would say, that the Black Bear was even more Human, at that moment, but I digress, I disConverge, upon the story, I got off track, lets say.
My Norwegian Friend, not in his proper Peaceful mind, without his coffee, said, "By Gum, I'll INvite that Bear to Stay, for a While, I will..." He talked funny that way, without his Coffee in the morning.
No sooner had all these thoughts rambled through his Agitated Mind, when upon closing the door rapidly, to prevent entering the premise, by the Bear.... When my friend, the Norwegian, you remember him, right??? Agitated He Was!!!!
Well, there, right by the Corner of the door, and the wall next to the door, the door being in the corner of the room, you see... Well, there, Right there, was his 30-30 Winchester, Model 94, to be exact....
And Low, my friend had this Idear. They put "r's" at the end of idea's, when they are extra good, you see, but I diverge....
He half cocks the lever, sure enough, there is Lead in the barrel, and so he closes the lever, Opens the Door, and says Kaboom, with his Finger... He is one of those old men, who would often say "pull this finger" ... And just as much smoke might be within the air, as from his 30-30, if you follow the drift..... (Drift, that was a Baaaaaad Pun...)
He set his Thuty Thuty against the wall, in the corner.... Went to the phone...
He called his Boss, and said, "Boss, I will be a little late this morning, a Black Bear interrupted my first cup of Coffee..."
His boss knew him well enough, that he did Not Want his Norwegian Employee present, until his coffee had been proper sipped, maybe Two cups, even Three, for a Bothered Norwegians Coffee Drinking, in the morning, does not make a pleasant Employee.
And that is how he talked the Bear into Hibernating in his Deep Freezer. At least, that is how I remember the story...."
philip
"Reminds me of my friend, who heard a noise at his door. None of his friends used that door, it was a second floor house, built into a hill... So that stairway was just a nice straight climb.... Rather than a person climbing the muddy hill, he was nice that way...
But his real friends just walked into the Basement-Garage, and climbed the inside stairs, Yes, a nicer way to enter that house.... But that is not the direction the story was going, just sharing, he had Two Sets of Stairs, you see.
Well, sir, you see he went to the door, to see who it was. Opps, it was a What it Was, not a Who it was.
Black Bear, year old... Well, he had not Invited a Black Bear for Coffee that morning, and being Norwegian, he was a mite upset, that the Bear had disturbed his Morning Ritual, and believe me, you do not want to interrupt a Norwegian from his first cup of Coffee of the day, Yes sir, that there is The truth.
Why maybe, you might not want to disturb, even, their second cup of that precious black fluid that Norwegians are a bit fond of.
So, being inconsiderately inconvenienced, by said Black Bear, my Norwegian Friend, was in a Foul Mood, indeed, some would say, that the Black Bear was even more Human, at that moment, but I digress, I disConverge, upon the story, I got off track, lets say.
My Norwegian Friend, not in his proper Peaceful mind, without his coffee, said, "By Gum, I'll INvite that Bear to Stay, for a While, I will..." He talked funny that way, without his Coffee in the morning.
No sooner had all these thoughts rambled through his Agitated Mind, when upon closing the door rapidly, to prevent entering the premise, by the Bear.... When my friend, the Norwegian, you remember him, right??? Agitated He Was!!!!
Well, there, right by the Corner of the door, and the wall next to the door, the door being in the corner of the room, you see... Well, there, Right there, was his 30-30 Winchester, Model 94, to be exact....
And Low, my friend had this Idear. They put "r's" at the end of idea's, when they are extra good, you see, but I diverge....
He half cocks the lever, sure enough, there is Lead in the barrel, and so he closes the lever, Opens the Door, and says Kaboom, with his Finger... He is one of those old men, who would often say "pull this finger" ... And just as much smoke might be within the air, as from his 30-30, if you follow the drift..... (Drift, that was a Baaaaaad Pun...)
He set his Thuty Thuty against the wall, in the corner.... Went to the phone...
He called his Boss, and said, "Boss, I will be a little late this morning, a Black Bear interrupted my first cup of Coffee..."
His boss knew him well enough, that he did Not Want his Norwegian Employee present, until his coffee had been proper sipped, maybe Two cups, even Three, for a Bothered Norwegians Coffee Drinking, in the morning, does not make a pleasant Employee.
And that is how he talked the Bear into Hibernating in his Deep Freezer. At least, that is how I remember the story...."
philip